Thursday, July 28, 2011

To Be Dressed For The Part

Kellyprofilepic By Guest Blogger Kelly McClymer

Lorraine, thank you very much for letting me come back for another Pet Peeve Thursday. I'm still on the wedding theme, I'm afraid, as I wrap up the Big Wedding Promo Blitz (The Fairy Tale Bride  is still 99 cents until the end of the month).

Happily, the promo continues to go well, and my daughter will now be able to have a wedding with more than potato chips and Koolaid.

Mom of the bride Unhappily, all my promotion success has reminded me of another pet peeve of mine: dressing up for a fancy event. As in a wedding. Even a wedding on the beach will require the mother of the bride to look nice (it does, I asked my daughter, and after she finished rolling her eyes, she confirmed my greatest fear).

Dressing up requires three things for which I am unsuited: choosing attractive attire, applying makeup, smiling.

However, after all my hard work to make this wedding nice, I'm determined to do my best not to look like the bag lady who wandered in by mistake.

Linda-hamilton-t2 Picture Linda Hamilton in Terminator II -- doing pull ups in a tiny cell so she can save her son as soon as she escapes. That will be me … well, not so much the pull ups.  No, I'll be going on marathon shopping trips (with an honest friend) looking for a dress that doesn't make me look like a lumpy potato. If I have to, I'll shimmy into six "shapers" (what my mom used to call girdles), but I'll do it. For my daughter.

I'll take makeup lessons (and put up with the itchy mascara eyes as stoically as Ms. Hamilton puts up with the Terminator's switch from bad guy to good guy).

I've already started practicing smiling, even though it means looking in the mirror. If you don't believe me, compare my profile pic with the one taken at my sister's wedding last month -- I'm the one who looks like the librarian just about to say, "Shush." I thought I was smiling (I always think I'm smiling…but no one else does).

Big smile It only took me ten minutes to get a smile good enough to capture with PhotoBooth. At this rate, I'll be smiling reliably by 2015. Not to worry, I'll take a small mirror to the wedding, so I can double check myself during the ceremony. Anything for my daughter. Linda Hamilton for the win.


FairyTaleBride Kelly McClymer is proud to announce that she has finally put up all five of her backlist historical romance novels on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords. Phew. She is working on her next project, back to YA again. And a wedding.... You can find sporadic updates about the coming wedding on her website You can see what she finds interesting on Twitter, and you can get updates about her books on FaceBook.  Don't miss The Fairy Tale Bride.