Thursday, March 8, 2012

Devouring kisses & roast beef just do not mix ...

by guest blogger Phoebe Conn

When Lorraine requested pet peeves, I offered one she hadn't heard before.

Lucy & SnoopyI'm single and date whenever the opportunity appears.  I'd had dinner with a nice man and when we came back to my home, he gave me one of those tonsil-tickling kisses that made me want to shriek the way Lucy does when Snoopy licks her check.  Some men have absolutely no idea how to kiss a woman.  They dive for it like a sailor who's spent the last year in a submarine under a polar ice cap.  Makes me want to puke!  Fortunately, I have a strong stomach.

The gentleman in question had eaten a roast beef sandwich for dinner.  I can feel your shuddering from here. Yes, the flavor of that sandwich added immeasurably to the sheer awfulness of that devouring kiss.  Being a lady, I smiled rather than grimace, and asked him to slow down a bit.  He looked confused, soon left, and, thank goodness, I've not heard from him since.

Fierce_Love_cover_dn.aspI much prefer a man who gives slow teasing kisses that build from a tender touch to the volcanic.  I should have sent my date a copy of one of my books where the heroes all know how to kiss like they mean it without the revolting tongue jab.

Excuse me, I need to go check my messages, someone interesting may have called.
Tales from the backlistRomance author Phoebe Conn has over thirty books to her credit.  Her latest Fierce Love will be available on May 22nd. In the meantime, why not sample one of Phoebe's short stories, PLAYING FOR KEEPS, in the Backlist eBooks anthology, Tales from the Backlist: Select Stories from Backlist eBooks Authors. (It's on sale for a limited time for just 99 cents.  P.S.  My short Jeff Resnick story, COLD CASE, is also included in the anthology.)