Thursday, March 31, 2011

Insult my State -- You Insult Me!

by guest blogger E.J. Copperman

NewJerseyPostcard It's one thing to have to listen to the "what exit" jokes and be asked if I knew any of the Sopranos. But what's going on now in the long history of disrespect to my home state is beyond the pale.

Seems there's a guy who used to work for a ritzy fashion house in Manhattan (of course), and due to issues I can't comment on intelligently, was being demoted by his company. He suffered the horrible fate of a transfer to manage high-end stores in--brace yourself--New Jersey. And he just couldn't take it.

So get this: He's suing the company for two million dollars. Because they made him work in New Jersey.

I'm asking you.

New_jersey_stamp I have lived in the Garden State all my life. I like it here (although I must confess that when I mentioned that to a friend's teenage daughter last week, she laughed and said, "WHY?"). I find the people intelligent, witty, interesting and entertaining. We are not a bland lot of people trying desperately not to be noticed. We have every possible type of natural environment short of a tundra. We have beaches (like the one where my Haunted Guesthouse Mystery series is set), mountains, fields, wetlands, drylands, pine barrens and yes, some pretty gritty cities (try saying THAT three times fast!).

New-jersey-job-openings Transfer to my home state, pal, should cost YOU.

Among this pretentious whiner's complaints: apparently, we have smog in New Jersey (and they don't in New York City?). Our drivers are not up to his discerning standards (which probably translates into: He didn't know how to navigate a traffic circle or a jughandle like a regular person). Our fashion is simply not up to snuff. This all caused him (and I'm not using his name because I believe he's doing this to get his name mentioned) "emotional distress" to the point that he's seeing a psychiatrist (he was probably the last Manhattanite who WASN'T) and taking Zoloft (see previous parenthetical expression).

We Jerseyans put up with a lot. The toll system on our roads is designed so that you have to pay to get out, but it's free to get in. There's a sign at the Pennsylvania border that reads, "Pennsylvania. America Starts Here." We have been the butt of more jokes than Charlie Sheen.

Shame on you But a $2-million lawsuit because somebody had to come here and work for a nice salary? No. Get out of the way, pal, there's somebody from New Jersey who can do your job at least as well and not complain about the indignity of having to drive on Route 4.

And the next time New Yorkers brag about their "mental toughness," simply refer them to this post. Please.
Uninvited-ghost E.J. Copperman's delightful Haunted Guesthouse Mystery series is set on the lovely Jersey shore.  E.J.s latest installment in the series, AN UNINVITED GHOST, will be published on Tuesday, April 5. (Did you miss the first one?  Night of the Living Deed?  If so--rush out to get it now.  It's WONDERFUL!!!)
Visit E.J.'s website and blog.