Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Mr. Wasp Builds A Nest


And so as we left the cottage last week, Mr. Wasp flew in.  Mr. MONSTER Wasp.  Of course I screamed.  I scream whenever there's a bug bigger than my big toe and if it's flying around --I scream REALLY LOUD. (And for some reason it annoys Mr. L.)

But I opened the door and Mr. Wasp flew out to dive bomb somebody else.

Only it turned out it wanted to dive bomb us.  Him and a LOT of his friends.  They were flying in and out of a little strip of metal above the gutter right over the front door.

"We'll get some wasp spray," Mr. L said.

Okay.  He bought it and since I decided to go back there to write he handed it to me and said, "Good luck."

Gulp.

Mr. Wasp and friends were very busy when I arrived.  Going in and out and (presumably) building more rooms in the nest for their friends and relatives.

Gulp.

But before I did anything I did what I never do.  I READ THE DIRECTIONS ON THE CAN.  It said to wait until dusk when Mr. Wasp and friends were turning in for the night.

It was a L-O-N-G day, and I went in and out the back door.

At long last almost dusk arrived and I went outside, set up the ladder (this time wearing shoes with traction.  I didn't want a repeat of two weeks ago when I fell down the rain-slick steps and received a gigantic bruise the side of Puerto Rico).  Perched on the ladder, I took aim and SQUIRTED.  Wow--that can really could expel its poison for 20 feet.  But was I in a good position to actually get the nest, which is completely invisible?

I squirted again.  Mr. Wasp and pals were getting a little upset.  Suddenly there were about 20 of them hovering madly outside their home.  I jumped off the ladder and backed away, sure I was about to be swarmed.  But the wasp family was more interested in defending their turf than turning on me.  Still, I squirted a couple more times from the ground and waited.  Nothing seemed to happen, but I did hear some odd buzzing.  I looked down and a couple of wasps were wiggling around in agony.

I felt like a murderer.  I stomped on them to put them out of their misery and hurried back inside.

Okay, I worked in a chemical factory for over 25 years.  I know what poison does and wasp spray is poison.  These wasps could have lived long and happy lives if they'd built a nest in the tree or in someones barn far away from me.

I have a feeling they're not finished.  They're big.  Like Terminator wasps.  They'll be back.

Next time I'm going to let Mr. L deal with them while I hide at a safe distance.

Have you ever dealt with wasps or other really big bugs?
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