Happiness = a Bic pen

When I was a kid, the first pen I owned was a Bic.  I thought it was marvelous! No longer was I relegated to writing homework assignments with a lowly No. 2 pencil.  I was practically an adult because I had learned cursive and I was writing with a PEN!

Back in the day, Bic pens were only available (to me at least) in blue or black.  I always chose blue.  I like the color blue.  It's the color of my eyes.  The color of the sky.  It's nice, friendly.  Black is a little too business like for my taste.  I like things nice and friendly.

As I mentioned in another post, I've been using Bic pens a lot lately, because I seem to be doing a lot of my (novel) writing by longhand, and then later typing up my pages.  For Christmas, Mr. L slipped into my Christmas stocking a package of blue Bic pens AND a package of red ones, too.

Red pens have POWER.  School assignments were always marked with a red pen.  For years I edited with a red pen.  But now ... eh, I found it's harder to see the red ink than the blue.  (And I don't like the implications, either.)  So the package of red pens still has 9 in it, while the blue package is empty.  Those pens are scattered around the house--any where I might need to pick one up and immediately start writing.

Bic pens come in green, too, but I haven't seen any of them around in years.  : (
The do come in other colors, and maybe it's just me, but I haven't found them to work as well as the plain old blue ones, mores the pity.

What product have you fallen in love with lately?  (Or rekindle your love affair with?)

Can I pay my bills this month?

There's a reason a lot of authors have put their older works up on Kindle, Nook, and other e reader platforms.  It's called Payday.  You see, Amazon and Barnes and Noble pay on a monthly basis.  Okay, they're paying you for what you sold two months ago, but the point is you're getting a check (or in my case, a direct deposit) every month.  (Smashwords pays every three months.)

Believe it or not, I use that money to live on.  And why is that?  Because the publisher for my mass market paperback books (think the Booktown and Victoria Square Mysteries) only pays me twice a year.  Yes, you heard that right.  I get paid sometime in April and sometime in October.  And so does everyone else with traditionally published books.

It's hard to budget when you have no idea when you're going to get paid for your work -- or how much you will make.  Because I'm very numbers oriented, I keep track of my Kindle and Nook sales so I can budget ahead.  This month we've got our healthcare insurance premium.  It will take my entire month's pay to cover that one bill.  Meanwhile, we'll be eating a lot of  Macaroni & Cheese during the next couple of weeks.

On Friday, I got a royalty check for the audio edition of Murder On The Mind, my first Jeff Resnick mystery.  A whopping $11.57.  Still, I'm grateful for it.  (I'd be a lot MORE grateful if people would discover this edition of the book.  Then maybe they'd buy the rights to the other books in the series and I could have a cavity filled once in a while.)

In two weeks, I have to pay my estimated taxes.  Holy smoke!  If my biannual check doesn't come in time, where is that money going to come from?  Kitchen refit?  On hold indefinitely.  Why?  Being an author, I have to pay estimated taxes every three months.  Plus, in September, I have to pay the town school taxes (that same month we have to pay for healthcare AGAIN.  I have to pay county taxes in January--right after the December *%#@ health care premium).  It's never ending.  And you know I'll be praying to see that check arrive in the mail--SOMETIME before April 15th--praying it will cover the June and September estimated taxes, too.

It's not likely the big publishing houses will ever pay their authors on a more timely basis.  So in between we either live in luxury (for usually one month of the year--October for me) or like paupers (for the other 11 months).  So if you thought that all authors are raking in the dough like Stephen King, Nora Roberts, or Janet Evanovich, think again.

BTW, anybody got tips for budgeting?

I can work while I ride!

So, last week I went to Virginia to not only visit my good buddy Ellery Adams, but to do a signing at the Short Pump Barnes & Noble in Richmond, but also to participate in a cozy mystery panel at the Virginia Festival of the book.  Both events were terrific.  I met a lot of new readers, and did many drop-in signings at bookstores in the area.  (We were pooped!)

Since I don't fly, we drove to Virginia. Losing a few days of work was out of the question, so I needed to be able to write during the journey.  The problem is, I get carsick if I try to read. I decided to give Over The Counter Medicine a try.

Can you say Bonine Motion Sickness Protection to the rescue?

I'm very pleased to say that the Bonine worked great.  Okay, I was writing longhand but I managed to get quite a bit of work done on the next Booktown Mystery.  The down side?  I was pretty sleepy.  But I got more work done with the Bonine than I would have without it.

Do you get motion sickness, and if so--what do you use.  (Anyone try those Sea-Bands?)

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Turn on the oven and let's start baking!

For those who don't know, I'm a member of the Cozy Chicks blog and I post on Saturdays.

We're like-minded cozy mystery writers who've banded together to talk about our lives, our writing, and ... food.  As it happens, we all love to eat (and it shows more on some of us than others).  With that in mind, we decided to put together The Cozy Chicks Kitchen, a collection of killer recipes.

We had such fun picking out a title, a cover picture, and collecting more than 100 recipes--some written by us, some "written" by our characters--and let me tell you, mouthwatering?  You better believe it!

In fact, that's just how Julie Hyzy, author of the White House Chef and the Manor House Mysteries put it.  She said:  "THE COZY CHICKS KITCHEN is chock full of mouthwatering gems. Everything is here: main dishes, desserts, salads, soups, drinks, and did I mention desserts? Don’t miss this fabulous collection. I’ve got both the ebook version and a hardcopy. Get yours today!"

The ebook edition is now available, but fear not--the trade paperback is in the works and will be ready in the next 2-3 weeks.  I'll let you know when it comes out.  But for now, if you've got an e reader you can find it for:

Kindle  ~  Nook  ~ and for all other ereaders at Smashwords.

We hope you enjoy meeting and eating with us and our characters!
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The Last of Christmas . . .

Last night, I took down the last of Christmas.

For the first time since we were able to furnish our HUGE combination living/family room, we put up a small part of our Snow Village display.  When we had no furniture, our Snow Village took up a big part of one wall.  However, about six years ago, we finally filled in all the gaping holes. (And don't ask why one home with only two people needs to have five living room spaces--PLEASE--just don't ask!)

I'd been meaning to put the village pieces away for weeks--nay, months--but time is a precious commodity around here.  Still, last night I felt that it was finally long past time.

The weather is great, so who wants to think about snow and Snow Village?  So, now we're back to our regular decorating mode and anticipating a long, hot summer.

And right about now, doesn't that sound WONDERFUL?
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And the beat goes on . . .

Did it ever seem to you that life is getting away from you because you do too much ...?

I had a few days off at the end of January and came home refreshed and raring to go.  No sooner had I returned when I was feeling pretty burned out. I'm still feeling pretty burned out and I'm not getting nearly enough written.  While I was gone, I wrote up a storm.  Since I got home ... not so much.

And now our garbage men have decided to change the time they pick up our trash.  They used to come at 3 pm.  Suddenly, they come before 7.  We didn't figure that out for TWO WEEKS.  That's a lot of trash piling up.

My energy efficient washing machine doesn't clean our clothes very well.  And although I use liquid detergent that's made for dark clothes, my dark clothes come out with white spots that look like undissolved powdered detergent.  I have to wash them over again and hope that the next time it's something else that comes out with the white spots.  I'm ready to trash this machine and buy a non-energy efficient machine just so I don't have to keep washing my clothes over and over again so I can actually wear them.

What are we supposed to do with finicky cats?  Since we lost our Bonnie back in November, we still put the same amount of wet cat food down for each kitty meal.  Why?  Because they won't eat something that sat in the fridge.  Most days they won't eat the fresh stuff, either.  All three show up, but at least two of them sniff the food and walk away.  It's insulting when you've gone to all that trouble to open the can, scrape out all the gravy (because that's all they really want anyway), put it in clean bowls, set it on the floor and then fill the water dishes (which they won't drink out of--they prefer the dripping bathroom sink).
The list goes on and on.

What's getting in the way of you enjoying life?
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It doesn't really taste like it looks . . .

Oh the mail I get ... I think that's a standard title for one of Lee Goldberg's regular topics on his blog, (which I read religiously).  He usually gets mail from someone asking for an outrageous favor (like, here I am a COMPLETE stranger--please drop everything and help me promote my book ... oh, yeah.  I got one of those last week, too), or a nasty fan (?) letter (I also got one of those last week).

The other day I got a note from a reader saying:  "In 'Sentenced to Death' Angelica makes puppodums in the microwave. I've never heard of these, but when I looked them up no one seems to make them in the microwave."

Well, I do!  Okay, the instructions say you're supposed to fry them in a skillet ... or something like that. Fuggetaboutit!  Who has time? And who wants to clean an oily skillet when God gave us microwaves to make our lives easier?
It took a couple of years of trial and error (hey, I've been busy writing books and stuff!), but I've now got it down to a science and I am happy to share my secret with the rest of the world. (Hold your applause until the end of this post.  Thank you.)

First of all, I had to experiment with the timing.  Too long and they burn to a crisp.  Not long enough and they're horrible.  And never try to cook a puppodoum in the microwave if you line your glass plate with paper towel.  Either that, or stand by with a fire extinguisher.

I found the best way to cook puppodums was on a Syracuse China plate.  (Any heavy duty restaurant plate will do, I just happen to collect their Americana pattern.)  I found this dinky plate, and it's brother, at a yard sale.  (Yeah, I could go to Replacements.com and buy the entire set for a gazillion dollars, but I prefer the thrill of the yard-sale hunt.)

Next up, preparing the puppodum.  I squirt mine with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray. (I used to use the garlic version, but because I liked it they discontinued it.  Product manufacturers always discontinue something the minute I decide to use it.  Good thing I don't buy Oreos, huh?)  You can use any cooking spray, like PAM, as well.  After three or four squirts, I use my finger and distribute the ICBINB to evenly coat the puppodum.  I place it on the little plate, and into the microwave it goes.




BTW, I have no idea what my microwave wattage is, and must admit I really don't care.  This microwave takes 45 seconds to cook the puppodum to perfection.  (It takes a lot less if you just toss it on the glass plate inside your microwave--about 20-22 seconds, but as I mentioned, sometimes they burn. The heavy china must distribute the heat better.  That's my story and I'm sticking with it.)  If this seems like a l-o-n-g time, you can do something else while you wait.  I like to drink a glass of skim milk when I eat curry, so usually my lunch is ready (today I'm thinking of having MTR alu muttar on rice) and too hot to eat anyway (did I mention I like my food PIPING HOT?), so 45 seconds is more than enough time to pour a glass of your favorite beverage.

The end result may look like a dinosaur scab, but it tastes just fine.  (If you like lental flatbread, that is.)



So there you have it:  puppodums cooked in the microwave.

(It's okay to applaud now.)

I love answering questions about my books and, quite honestly, rarely get them.  So if you've wondered about anything in the books--please, ask away.  (It's hard coming up with new ideas for blog posts.)

My movie dilemma . . .

They're the gifts you give when you don't know what to give:  Money and/or gift cards.

Right now, I've got a couple of Amazon gift cards sitting there and I haven't decided what to do with them.  Or rather, I've decided that I should buy some movies, but I'm not sure what.

I got to see about half an hour of Pay It Forward over the weekend, and I was intrigued enough that I'd like to see it again, so that's a given. (I like uplifting movies.)

When the movie was new, I thought about going to see Up, but never got around to it.  It stars the voice of Edward Asner. I met Mr. Asner's sister in January, and since then I've thought ... I should buy that DVD. (Although what one has to do wit the other ... is anyone's guess.)

I'm fascinated with time-travel stories
(hmmm...it's a wonder I haven't read any time travel romances--there seem to be a lot of them around), and it's been years since I've seen The Final Countdown, so that's on the list, too.

I've thought about buying Ladyhawke, since I seem to be collecting DVDs of the work of director Richard Donner, but I'm not sure.  (If you've seen it, what did you think?)

I figure I've got enough Amazon $$$ left for two more movies.  I usually prefer comedies, but as you can see, I've got two (almost three) dramas on my wish list.

What older movies have you seen that you love ... that you think I'd love, too?
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Well, I'll be Skyped!

A couple of months ago, a librarian asked me to talk to her library group about the Booktown Mysteries.  The only thing was, they were out of state.  What's a person to do?

Skype!

For several years, I've offered to talk to reader groups via Skype, and no one has taken me up on it.  I kind of forgot about it, so it was a bit of a shock when I got approached to talk to the group in February.  The day they were meeting, I was scheduled to be out of town.  I didn't want to take a chance on iffy Internet connections, so we rescheduled for this week.

This week is here.

I didn't have Skype, either.

I do now.  And thanks to my pals, Ellery Adams and Julie Hyzy, I tested it and had two very nice long-distance discussions, and I got to see my friends, who I haven't seen since last April.  Weeee!  This is fun!
Now the real test comes on Friday when I fire up my laptop and talk to that library group.  Gulp!  I'm off to go get beautiful!

Do you use Skype or a service like it?

My book on the Silver Screen? Could it ever really happen?

Okay, I did NOT see any of the films in this year's Oscar race.  Not one.  I heard about all of them.  I saw clips on all of them (even three of the short features), but time to go to the movies?  Fuggetaboutit! I didn't even get to see the last Harry Potter on the big screen.  I was busy writing. (The last movie I went to see was The King's Speech.  It was good!)

But last night I had a bit of a fun time on Facebook.  I posted that I thought it would be cool if one of my books made it to the movies, and I picked Murder on The Mind, the first Jeff Resnick book.  One of my readers suggested one of the Booktowns would make a good movie, but while my readers might be happy, the coveted 18-49 male demographic would never tear themselves away from their video games and Youtube to make it to the theater.  (But they'd probably do really well on TV. How about the Hallmark Channel?)

Someone suggested that Bradley Cooper play Jeff Resnick, the hero of Murder On The Mind (and the rest of the series).  I must confess, I never even heard of Bradley Cooper. (Writers don't get out that much.  I mean, I make it to the grocery store once a week, and that's about it.)  I looked him up on Google images and -- hot damn, he's good looking.  He's got mesmerizing blue eyes.  Jeff has muddy brown eyes.  I think I could overlook that tiny imperfection in the actor.

I've always thought that Phillip Seymour Hoffman would be terrific as Richard.  (He'd have to dye his hair brown -- but actors do that a lot.  Maybe he could lose a few pounds, too.  (Couldn't we all--or at least a bunch of us--do with that, too?) The fact that Mr. Hoffman is a Rochester, NY Native (okay, Pittsford--let's not quibble) would make it even better!

From the first time I saw Jennifer Hudson (and I don't even remember where that was), I thought she'd make a terrific Brenda.  (She doesn't have to sing for the role!)  Can't you just picture her bossing Richard and Jeff around?

I haven't given much thought as to who could play Maggie.  When I picture her as I'm writing the character, it's Gates McFadden I see, but she's too old for the part now.  Still, 15 years ago, she would have made a fabulous Maggie.

Is there a chance in hell this book would be made into a movie?  Well, a production company did request a copy -- but they never optioned it.  (I have a friend who's had a book optioned.  So far ... no movie.  But they keep renewing the option, so there is hope.)  Of course if you know someone at a production company, hey--mention Jeff's name, willya?

So, what do you think about my casting?  Disagree?  Who do you see playing the major roles?
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The first signs of spring . . .

The other day it snowed overnight.  (Is that an oxymoron?  Anyway, it did.)  The snow was the wet, heavy spring type snow.  And it melted by lunchtime.

The daffodils are up by several inches.  Now we're waiting for the snowdrops.

It's been a mild winter, but it's still winter.  I'm ready for warm weather.  Zephyr breezes.  Planting my snow peas (and I'll do it on time, this year).

I'm ready for spring.  How about you?

And since we're on the subject of covers ....

One of the great things about being an indie author is that if something isn't working, you can fix it--or at least play with it.  That goes for your title, your book/story description, and covers, too.

One of my favorite short stories hasn't done all that well.  Okay, so it's kind of a romance, but it's got a lot of heart and for a long time I was disappointed that it didn't sell.  Not for lack of trying.  I submitted the story four times and they asked for three rewrites.  But we just couldn't come to an agreement on certain aspects of the story.  In the long run, I'm rather pleased that I have full control over it.  And although it's not a huge seller like say ... oh, I don't know -- A Crafty Killing and The Walled Flower , in the 18 months it's been available, it has earned me more than I would have gotten at 6 cents a word way  back when.

I changed the cover for the 3rd time last year about this time. I also changed the title for the third time.  So you see, this little story has been around the block a few times, trying to find its way and its audience.




The story has done best as "An Unconditional Love."  I liked the image, but it wasn't working.  That cover was kind of done by committee.  I asked for ideas on Facebook and a bunch of readers weighed in. But it was my Cozy Chick sister Heather Webber (also known as Heather Blake) who found the image that was perfect for the story.

DESCRIPTION:  A one-night stand changes Leslie Turner's life forever when she discovers she's pregnant. Keeping the child means losing her business. Even more devastating, the baby is born with a disfiguring birth defect. Her carefully planned life falls apart . . . until years later when she once again meets her baby's father. Can they ever be a family?


Here's a short review by  Dru Ann Love of Dru's Book Musings:  "What happens when your friend's widowed husband comes into your bar and drowns out his sorrow? You drive him home and that one night of unexpected passion changes the course of your life. This was a heartwarming and tender story of one woman's journey of love and forgiveness."

Will this variation of the old cover work?  Who knows.  But it's kind of fun to try.  I might be doing more of it in the near future, too.

So, which cover do you like best?
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Happy Birthday to my Dad!

"Nothing on earth can make
up for the loss of one who
has loved you."
--Selma Lagert

I lost my Dad in October of 2009, just as Lorna was starting to see some success.  He never knew most of the Lorna triumphs.  Hitting the New York Times bestsellers list--not just the extended list, but the REAL list (so far three times).  He never saw the third book in the series.  He never knew it was nominated for an Agatha for best novel of 2009. He never knew I sold another series under my own name -- the one he gave me.

Yesterday I learned I hit the New York Times bestsellers (extended) list for the first time under my own name for The Walled Flower.  And guess what, I hit higher than Lorna did on her first time. #25.

Yesterday would have been my Dad's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

You can have a copy of my book ... just not this one

By guest blogger E.J. Copperman

I don't often deny my daughter, now a sophomore in college, much of anything I can afford to give her. For one thing, she doesn't want all that much, and for another, she's my daughter. So she was surprised when I told her she couldn't have the copy of my new book I had just handed her for inspection.

"But I haven't read this one yet," she protested. "Why won't you let me read it?"

I told her I was perfectly happy for her to read OLD HAUNTS, the third in the Haunted Guesthouse mystery series. In fact, i'd have been disappointed if she didn't want to read it, as I truly value her opinion (especially since she loved the first two books in the series--the girl has good taste). But I remained adamant; she couldn't have that book.

I have a few rules I apply to myself. I always skip the second step when climbing stairs (don't ask me why--I'm pretty sure even I don't understand that one). I always put on my socks before anything else in the morning. (TMI?) I always cross off the "Down" clues on the New York Times crossword puzzle as I decipher the answers, but not the "Across" ones.

And I always--always--keep the first copy of one of my books for myself, and nobody else.

There's something about that first copy, the one the publisher sends an author before the number of copies for "promotional purposes" they send because it's stipulated in the contract we sign. It's a reminder that this was a dream job, something I aspired to for years and years before gathering the nerve to even try it. It brings me back to the first copy of the first book I wrote, the way I felt when I was holding it in my hands for the first time. That's a sensation that doesn't get old. It represents effort and luck and joy and hope and a thousand other things I can't necessarily articulate.

And it's a feeling that doesn't ever go away.

So on a shelf in my office is the first copy I received of each of my books, in any edition and all configurations (large print, etc.). As the shelf becomes more crowded, it becomes a source of pride and memory. It's the kind of thing that strokes an author's ego for the right reason; it's not about money (because the money actually would take up less room on the shelf, even in singles), it's not about "fame," however incongruous a term that is for what we do. It's not about being lucky that an editor liked your writing and took the time to read your book when she could have read someone else's. It's not about beating out another writer for a space on that shelf; competition in this business is a ridiculous concept; we're all in it together.

Seeing those books, those first books, is a reminder that it took hard work to get there, and that other people helped along the way. It's a feeling of real gratitude and pride, and I look at that shelf every once in a while when things are going other than great, to remind myself that maybe I don't have it so bad after all.

So I'm sorry, honey, but you can't have that book. Instead, I'll pre-order one from a bookseller and have it sent to your college P.O. box.

You don't ever turn away an interested reader. I'm not crazy.
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 E.J. Copperman is the author of the Haunted Guesthouse mystery series, which continues Feb. 7 (Hey, that's tomorrow!) with OLD HAUNTS.

The ghosts haunting Alison Kerby's Jersey Shore guesthouse are sad. Maxie wants to know who murdered her ex-husband, and Paul pines for his still-living almost-fiancee. The only one who isn't missing her ex is Alison-because The Swine just arrived on her doorstep...

Available Tuesday from:

Amazon ~ Kindle ~ Barnes & Noble ~ Nook ~ Books A Million ~ Indigo ~ The Book Depository ~ iTunes ~ Independent (US) Bookstores

You can find out more about E.J. at www.ejcopperman.com
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Can I PLEASE just speak to a human being?

by guest blogger Nancy J. Cohen

How often have you tried to reach customer service on the telephone only to be transported through multiple levels of automated replies? Not only does this take up your time, but it raises your aggravation factor tenfold. 

“Just give me a person,” you shout into the phone to no avail.

When that doesn’t work, you punch the “O” on your keypad. Instead of bringing up the operator, you get a message that says, “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize that response.” And the litany of automated choices begins again.

A while ago, I came across a post online that mentioned a website called http://gethuman.com. This useful site lists companies with instructions on how to bypass their telephone tree.

A miracle!

Of course, every time I want to call someone, I’m not going to look up this website, scroll down to the company, and read the instructions. Too much rigmarole. But the site does give some general tips that may be useful. For example, repeatedly say “Customer Service” or “Representative”, and you might get connected to a live person. Or push the zero key. As mentioned above, though, this may not get you the operator, in which case the automated choices are read to you again.

It’s just so annoying when we have to talk to a machine these days instead of a person. Trying to get hold of someone in your doctor’s office is probably the worst. You end up leaving a message, and if you’re lucky, you might get a call back by dinner time. The cable company? Forget it. We’d finally reached tech service and scheduled an appointment. The night before, we received an automated phone call that said the problem in the area had been fixed and our appointment was canceled. What problem in the area? I had to call up all over again and reschedule, then wait for two more automated confirmation phone calls.

Give me back the old days when real people answered the telephone.
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Nancy J. Cohen is an award-winning author who writes romance and mysteries. Her popular Bad Hair Day series features hairdresser Marla Shore, who solves crimes with wit and style under the sultry Florida sun. Here latest entry in the series is Shear Murder:  Who knew weddings could be murder?  Hairstylist Marla Shore is weeks away from becoming a bride herself when she walks down the aisle as a bridesmaid at her friend Jill’s ceremony. Things take a turn for the worse when the matron of honor ends up dead, the cake knife in her chest. Now what will they use to cut the cake? BUY NOW!

Follow Nancy on her Social Networks: Website   ~ Blog ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Goodreads

Leave a comment during Nancy’s blog tour and enter to win a free signed book.
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I won't strut the catwalk in these boots . . .

Winter's here, and I've got boots.

For many years (more than a decade), I couldn't say that.  Why?  Because I couldn't find any boots I liked.  Okay, I'll admit it. My last pair of boots leaked like sieves and I figured I may as well just wear my sneakers and have wet feet anyway.  But this year ... I decided to bite the bullet.

I'm no clothes horse.  I've had fashionable boots in the past.  Not only did they leak, but they hurt my feet.  This year, my mother saw a pair of Totes boots she liked at JCPenney, but they didn't have her size, so I ordered them for her online.  As it happens, we wear the same size shoe, so when her boots came, I tried them on, and--Whoa--they fit perfectly. Even better, they weren't super expensive.  I went straight home and ordered a pair for myself.
What a difference.  Unlike my sneakers, they're WARM.  So far my feet have stayed dry.  I can shovel and not have Popsicle toes.  I am a happy camper!

It's true, they are NOT glamorous, but so what?  I want warm, dry feet and they deliver.  Now to hope they last more than one season without leaking.

Are you a fashion hound when it comes to boots, or do you just want dry feet?
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Surely that's WORTH a giant cookie!

by guest blogger Janet Bolin

My mystery-writing career began when someone lost a shoe.

I found it.

To the consternation of the woman walking with me, I shoved the shoe into my briefcase and took it home.

The next morning, I took the shoe to work and called my doctor.

Are you still with me? Oh, sorry, that was rather a large . . . um . . . step.

Okay, here’s how the conversation went, sort of.

Me: “Have any of your patients reported losing an orthotic?”
Receptionist: “No.”

Me: “Because I found one. It matches my orthotic.”

Receptionist: “Is it yours?”

Me: “No. The sticker on the bottom of mine says Bolin. The sticker on the bottom of hers is torn, but these are the letters I can read. T-E-N-A.”

Receptionist: “First or last name?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Silence.

Me: (getting desperate—as anyone who has ever purchased orthotics knows, they are hideously expensive.) “It’s in a blue suede woman’s shoe, size 8M.”

More silence. Then, with a great deal of doubt, “I’ll see if we have any patients matching that.” Click. Dial tone.

My sense of triumph lasted at least an hour. But day after day passed, and I didn’t hear from the doctor’s office. Some poor woman had lost an expensive item, and could be hobbling around on very sore feet. On one very sore foot.

What could have possibly happened to her? Maybe something terrible.  
  
I started to write about a woman setting out to find the owner of a lost shoe.  I scribbled and scribbled (actually, I keyed the words, but scribbling sounds much more dramatic) and couldn’t stop.

Finally, I received a call. “I hear you found my shoe.”

Tena showed up at my office to collect her shoe and her expensive orthotic. She brought me a HUGE chocolate chip cookie in the shape of a high-heeled shoe. “The people in my office are calling you the Shoe Goddess,” she said.

Breaking off and gobbling chunks of cookie, the people in my office probably started thinking of me as the Chocolate Chip Cookie Goddess.

We all lived happily ever after.

All of us, that is, except for the woman in my story who lost a shoe . . .

That was my first manuscript, the one that lives in the proverbial drawer. But I was hooked on writing mysteries.

What about you? Did you ever do something strange that propelled you into accomplishing something you’d always wanted to try?
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The first book in Janet Bolin’s Threadville Mystery series is Dire Threads. Visit her website or talk to her on Facebook and/or Twitter.  The second book in the series is Threaded for Trouble, arriving in stores June 5, 2012, and is now available for pre-order.

Dire Threads:  Amazon ~ Kindle   ~ Barnes & Noble / Nook   ~  Indigo   ~  Books A Million   ~  The Book Depository    ~  Independent (US) Bookstores

Threaded For Trouble:  Amazon   ~  Barnes & Noble   ~  The Book Depository   ~   Books A Million  ~ Independent (US) Bookstores

I can now be taken out in public!

Well, it's about time I spiffed up.  I mean, I do have a book signing to go to in a couple off week.  (I'll be signing The Walled Flower.  If you're in the Rochester, NY area -- maybe you can come and say "HI!")

Now, I hate to dress up, but in the past couple of months, I've invested in several scarves. I have a really pretty purple and gold one (it shimmers), silver, a black-and-white floral.  I even have a few knitted ones. (The one I made myself convinced me that my knitting days are over, thank you very little Mr. Carpal Tunnel syndrome.)

But what do I know about wearing them?  Well, isn't Google just the best thing around.  I found a video to help me out.  (Although, come on -- NOT choice No. 3.  The woman looks like she's trying out to be the bow on a Valentine's Day gift.)

So far I've successfully worn one of my scarves once. I mean, I went to a party and nobody laughed. In fact, a couple of other women were wearing very nice scarves. I felt like I belonged (and believe me, that doesn't happen very often).

Do you wear scares to spiff up?

Movies I've seen at least 20 times . . .

Okay, over the years I've had a LOT of favorite movies.  And now I have a new one.

Okay, I still have LOTS of favorite movies that I watch depending on my mood.  Sometimes I watch Star Trek: The Search For Spock, because if there was ever a story that explores the depths of friendship, that's it.  I love Star Trek First Contact because we see Captain Picard pushed to the brink, and yet . . . he's still every bit a hero.

I watch Pollyanna when I have a long and boring task (because it's incredibly LONG) and because Hayley Mills is charming.  I also love The Secret Garden. (And I read the book a couple of times every years, too.)

I love White Christmas and hate Betty Haines every time I watch it.  But I still watch it.  Wayyyyy too many times when Christmas rolls around.  (Why didn't she just ask Bob what he was up to?  Nooooo, that would have shortened the story by about twenty minutes.  But she wouldn't have looked like such a jerk.)

But lately I've been watching Love Actually (when I can tear myself away from my latest manuscript.  I admit, I did watch it at least four times in December ... not all that much, really.)  It's such a cool movie, with so many different looks at what makes love.  People in love.  People out of love.  People wanting love.  Peopel denying themselves of love.  And though it's set at Christmastime, it doesn't have to be Christmas to enjoy it. And for most of the people involved, it has a happy ending.  (Come on, sometimes you really just want to see  happy ending.)

What's your current favorite movie?

Last week I went to the Lands End Inlet (as opposed to outlet) store.  Way cool!  I was on a mission:  to buy one of their wonderful tote bags.  I thought it would be a great way to carry stuff to and fro this summer when we go to the cottage.  (Can you tell I'm already counting the days until we can start going down there again?)
So we drove across town and go into the store.  I asked one of the clerks where to find them. She said against the wall, but if we didn't mind monogrammed ones, they were on sale.

She wasn't kidding.  The monogrammed ones -- I assume ones that were ordered but for some reason never purchased, or perhaps they were monogrammed incorrectly -- were drastically cheaper.  As a former vendor in an antiques co-op, it pains me to pay retail for anything, so getting a bargain was a good deal for me.

I picked through the bags (and boy, were there a lot of them) and found the perfect one.  It was white with pink accents with a monogram of HCO.  Not only that, but there are cool pockets inside, and it zippered shut.  Can you say "almost perfect in every way?"

When I went to pay for it, the clerk said I would get an extra 20% off.  Even better!  As she cashed out my purchase, she asked if I was interested in removing the monogram.  I was.  So she put in a sheet of instructions on what to do.  Ya know what, I actually read the thing for helpful hints!
I got home, borrowed a seam ripper from my mother, took out a pair of fine tweezers and went to work.  First, I went after the BIG C in the middle.

Whoa--this was a lot harder than it looked.  I had to get out Mr. L's head loupe because the stitches were very tiny and my close-range eyesight has never been all that good.  After quite a long time, I managed to pick out all of the letter C.  As far as I was concerned, that was enough.  Until I realized what the remaining letters spelled.

Can you say "HO!"

NO, I did NOT want to be known as a HO -- but oy!  The "O" was pretty easy, but it took forever to pick out that H, which had a lot of curlicues. Afterwards, I followed the instructions, which said to use a little liquid Ivory Snow and gently wash the area with a toothbrush and it would help hide the offending letters. (Lucky I had some on hand.)  I did, and it did! Now I have a lovely tote and without someone else's monogram or an offensive term written on it.

What was your last great bargain?

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this aint!

Recently one of my ex-co-workers responded to a Facebook post where I talked about the upcoming release of The Walled Flower.  (okay, can you blame me?  It's one of my favorite topics right about now.)  In it she said, "I know somebody famous."

Wait a minute.  Me, famous?

No, no, no.

I'm not even a celebrity (and when you consider that people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian get to be celebrities by appearing in sex videos -- no thanks, that's not the life I'm looking for).

Let's face it, even in my Lorna Barrett persona (my best known name), I couldn't walk into a Starbucks in Rochester, NY and get a free cup of Joe by pulling the fame card.  "Who?" they say, squinting at me and taking in my faded jeans (they got that way by years of wear, not by paying an exorbitant price.  And besides, I don't drink coffee.)

I've always heard it's better to be rich than famous.  I think that must be true, but about now, I'm wondering how to get to the rich part.

And if I was rich, what would I do with all that money?

Well, first off, I'd get a brand spanking new kitchen.  I have a TINY kitchen (and worry that future prospective buyers will bolt when they find out it's so tiny there's no room for even a bistro table and chairs), but I don't even want granite counters, and stainless steel appliances.  Nope, just some new counters (Formica is fine with me) and reface the cabinets.  Oh, and replace the slippery-when-wet ceramic tile with one that has a little texture.

A new car.  Not a Caddy or even a BMW ... nope.  A Town and County minivan with stow-and-go seats.  Don't even need extra BRDs (beverage restraint devices) because I use both hands to drive (and, as mentioned above, I don't drink coffee).

I could give more money to charity if I had more to spare.  My favorite charities are:  Crackerbox Palace farm animal rescue (a lot of people see farm animals as expendible.  Well, I don't. They deserve a long and happy life just like cats and dogs), The Wayne County Humane Society (I'd give to the one in my own county, only they are well funded--Wayne County has a lot of poverty, and not enough $$$ to spay and neuter, etc.) and St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital (although I'd feel a lot more comfortable giving them more money if they laid off sending stuff out like stickers and calendars and stuff and just used the money I send to CURE KIDS OF CANCER!!!!!).  I'd also give more to my local Food Pantry.

Okay, I MIGHT buy a few bracelets and earrings, and a couple of 1950s Christmas figurines that cost more than a buck each (my garage sale limit).  But other than that . . . .

What would you buy if you had unlimited funds?

Has the golden age of personal web sites passed?

I have counters on the index (home) pages of my web sites (and even on this blog).  That way I can see how many people come to visit on a daily/weekly basis.

It's no surprise that my Lorna web site gets the most hits, and it's pretty steady.  (That's unique visitors.)  I sure wish it was more, but I'll take what I can get.

Unfortunately, my other two personas don't get those kinds of hits.  It's discouraging to me, because I've been shouting from any rooftop I can find that I'm writing under three names.  Lorraine's site is doing eh-okay.  L.L.'s site ... you don't want to know.  This pie chart isn't accurate, but it's not too far off, either.

This is rather discouraging.  Especially since Lorraine has a new book coming out Februray 7th.

I put my web site address on all my promotional material.  I list them in the acknowledgments in all my books.  I would expect that more people would seek the sites out.

Do you think the golden age of web sites is over?  What do you like to see in an author's website?

(Just in case you want to visit my websites to compare them, you can find them by clicking my various names:  Lorna ~ Lorraine ~ L.L. )
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Oh, how I hate winter ... how about you?

Here in Western NY, we've been enjoying November for the past three months.  I'm sure other parts of the Northeast have, too.   It's been great.  I mean, I can't remember such a wonderful winter.  A winter with virtually no snow.

Last year was the pits.  It seemed like it snowed every day. I was out there with my roof rake just about every day, and snowblowing the top of the driveway, too.  (We have an "L" shaped driveway.) Over the summer, we had our landscaping redone.  Weeeee!  Suddenly without all that overgrown stuff lining the drive, the plowman can get in and plow the L-shaped top of the drive.  But oddly enough ... he's only had to do it once this season.

Until today.

Winter has suddenly reappeared.  BAH!  Humbug.

I was quite prepared to go straight through until May with November weather and now ... it's all been ruined.
I'm sure that a few weeks from now Punxsutawney Phil pops out of his hole on February 2nd, you just KNOW he's going to way SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.  I'm just afraid he'll say TWELVE more weeks of winter because we've skirted the issue for so long.

How's winter been where you live?