I FEEL SO ALONE . . .

Every year I go through this:  I feel regret that I didn't go to a conference.  This week is Bouchercon--the BIG mystery conference.  This year it's in Indianapolis, which is drivable for me. 

There are a lot of reasons I decided not to go all those many months ago, and if I'd signed up, I would've had to cancel for personal reasons anyway.  But still--all my online pals are either on their way to Indianapolis, or there a day early for the big Sisters In Crime event.  The Guppies will be gathering for lunch on Friday (I missed their gathering in Washington in May because I had lunch with my editor, and I wouldn't have missed that for the world--but I did miss not connecting with my Guppy sisters en mass).

Already my friends are posting on Facebook and Twitter.  I read their reports and feel wistful.  And yet, I decided NOT to go.

I hate crowds.  Bouchercon is CROWD CENTRAL.  When I went in 2006, I felt so overwhelmed.  I was in the overflow hotel two blocks from the conference hotel, and when I escaped, I escaped for hours--not a few minutes.  I had to haul books up and down a hill.  It was awful.  (Not that our hotel was awful.  It was nice.  And they even gave us a "stay one night free" coupon, which I gave to one of my Guppy sisters who lived in Wisconsin.)

I wasn't sure I could afford it.  (Turns out, I could!)

I'm going to jump back into the WIP today and try not to think of all my friends having fun while I'm working hard and not having fun.

Bummer.