Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's the thing on the steering column, buddy

 By Guest Blogger Mary Jane Maffini

Maryjane4 Now look here, buddy in the Cadillac Escalade: if you can afford that car, you’d think you’d be smart enough to signal when you plan a sudden turn. Just sayin’ as I scrape myself off the dash. Unless you think you are above the law because you’re sitting so high up there. Guess you can afford the lawyer.

And as for you, mister with the hat. Are you really choosing to drive 35 in the 55 zone because you are safety conscious? I’m not buying that. Sooner or later, one of the ten cars behind you is going to make a break for it and try passing, safe or not. Think loud bang noises. I suppose you’ll shake your hat head disapprovingly. But never mind that. What’s actually bugging me about you (and I have lots of time to think about it because I’m stuck doing 35 in a 55 zone) is that you haven’t figured out what to do with that little stick thingie on the left hand side of your steering column. Here’s a hint: it’s called a turn signal. Turn. Signal. When you move it up or down, it will cause the appropriate signal light on your vehicle to indicate, well, turns.

I know. What a sensational new notion! As you might suspect, it is to indicate that you are going to turn shortly, say at the next intersection or into the driveway coming up.

Sorry. I couldn’t help yelling at those people. They just get to me. Then, there are the folks who use their signal to mean ‘Hey, look at me! I’m in the process of turning this second!’ Some of them like to let us know that they have already turned by giving us a couple of blinks. ‘Hey! Look where I just went!’

Or the ladies who come to a complete stop before making that turn. Sometimes in the middle of the road. As if they had no idea where they’d head off to next. Me? I had to stand on my brakes the last time. Really, that’s not what the little stick is about. It’s to give people information. When used correctly it can prevent collisions and near misses. Imagine my surprise when a confused gentleman changed lanes three times today and didn’t signal a single one. Shoulder check? I think not. I spotted a couple of drivers give him the finger but I guess he didn’t notice. He didn’t need to signal. He knew where he was going.

Maybe he’s grandpa to buddy in the backwards baseball cap driving the ancient souped-up Supra who just shot across four lanes of traffic at a right angle from the fast lane to get to the off ramp. Apparently there’s no need to signal there, because when you’re crossing four lanes of highway well above the speed limit, it should be obvious that you’re heading for the off ramp. Or with luck the nearest lock-up.

My friend Sue had an ancient auntie, Helen (a retired librarian a woman of strong opinions) who drove in a small Ontario town and refused on principle to use her turn signals. It’s none of their business which way I’m turning,” she continued to say as long as she was able to drive. The roads are a bit safer since she took that opinion to the great beyond. But I argue that where other drivers are going IS my business, not only because I missed a lovely green light due to someone else’s last minute turn, but because I have a life too, you know. I’d like to hang on to it.

So this summer, don’t make the rest of us peevish and if you see this license plate, make sure you signal!

Now that I have that out of my system, let’s hear from you. What annoys you most about the folks you meet on the road?
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Closet Confidential Mary Jane Maffini writes three (count 'em!) mystery series. They are: The Fiona Silk Mysteries, the Camilla MacPhee Mysteries, and the fabulous Charlotte Adams professional organizer series from Berkley Prime Crime. As it happens, Mary Jand has a new book out this month called CLOSET CONFIDENTIAL. You can get it (and the others in this series) at your favorite chain bookstore -- and many independents. Or just click on this link and order it online. Check out Mary Jane's website. You can also find her on the Killer Characters blog every 14th of the month. (Hey, that was just the yesterday!)



9 comments:

  1. I've often wondered why it seems that the new cars don't come equipped with signal lights, or rather the little lever to utilize them. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I don't drive any more than I have to now, I'm just too cranky. LOL. You should have been on the cross country trip with me, luckily it was my parrot riding shotgun and she doesn't pick up words quickly. LOL

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  2. My regular morning drive to work includes a T intersection (I'm on the road that dead ends into the cross street) where both lanes can make a left but only the right lane can make a right, and it's a legal "turn right on red". It makes me crazy when I'm sitting in the right lane, ready to make my right turn but I can't because the idiot in front of me decided to use the right lane for his left turn - even though the left lane IS EMPTY! HELLO!

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  3. What I hate is when I'm waiting to cross the street and as soon as I cross, here comes a car making a turn with indicated said turn and I have to scramble back on the median to avoid being a casualty.

    I always scream at them to use their d**n signal.

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  4. I agree with all you stated. But there is one more, the person whose does not know how to turn off a turn signal. I just love getting behind someone with that right/left turn signal on and they never make that right/left turn. And of course there is just enough traffic that you can't get around them.

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  5. Don't you just love the people who think they have the right of way when they enter a multi-lane highway? I had one guy flip me the bird because I was in the right lane, had cars to the left of me so I couldn't move over, and I didn't STOP to let him enter the highway! They read a different Rules of the Road than I did.

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  6. Omigosh, Mary Jane ... don't get me started. I live in South Fla., home to the worst drivers in the nation, many of whom learned on small mountain roads in little Caribbean villages. Actually, don't mind the bad drivers as much as the ENTITLED drivers, the ones who use the breakdown lane to zoom past everyone else in traffic tie-ups because the rules don't apply to folks as important as they are!

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  7. Oh Deborah so true especially Miami!

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  8. Ok, I'm not the typical driver. To be honest, I don't drive a car. Or truck...or SUV. I drive a power wheelchair. So, in essence, I'm both "driver" and pedestrian at the same time. What gets me is that able-bodied pedestrians don't pay any attention to those around them very well--unless they're gawking at the person using a powered wheelchair, but that's another vent for another time. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to suddenly stop as someone or a group of people have blindly crossed my path or cut in front of me, or when I've had to jerk to the side suddenly to avoid running over some idiot's foot! Hello! You and your friends are not the only ones in the store/mall/restaurant, etc. A lil awareness would be nice.

    *getting off her soapbox now*

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  9. As my younger brother shouts to inconsiderate drivers: "Turn Signals -- They're Not Just For Smart People!"

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