Lost in Grief

It's been seven weeks since I lost my cat, Fred. To me, he wasn't just a cat. He was my tiny son. My little Prince. Additionally, it's been five weeks since we lost Chester, Mr. L's feline son.

The truth is ... we were prepared to lose Chester. He was almost 20 years old. He had multiple health problems. Mr. L and I had learned to give him subcutaneous fluids back in July 2016 because he was suffering from kidney failure. He had other health problems that had us giving him pills five days a week, and cream in his ears almost every day for several months. But until a week before he had to make the terrible decision to euthanize him, Fred was okay. Yes, he had lost weight, but he didn't give us any real sign that he was in distress. He had apparently suffered in silence with the cancer that was rapidly growing within him.

We thought we were prepared to lose Chester. But to lose Fred was absolutely devastating. And then...12 days later, we lost Chester, and he did not have an easy time. We waited a day too long to take him to his last visit to the vet. On the morning of his last day, Chester had a violent seizure. Ive seen people have seizures but nothing like what our poor sweet boy endured. That was at 7:50 am. I called our vet at 8 when they opened, and they said to bring him in at 10:30. I wasn't sure he'd make it and I worried about him suffering. Five minutes later, they called to say, "Bring him in now," which we did.

Some might cynically say the vet only wanted to make the $50 charge to euthanize him, but I don't think so. We didn't want our boy to suffer .. and he certainly did.

Truly, we have been lost without our boys. And our quest to find new cats has not been easy. Honestly, no cats could ever "replace" our boys. We loved Fred for just over 13 of his 15 years, and Chester was two weeks short of his 20th birthday. But ... April isn't quite "kitten season," and the truth is, Mr. L and I want older kittens, not tiny babies.  Maybe we're just a little too old for that right now.

"You should adopt older cats!!!" we've been told sternly.

Okay, but we just LOST two older cats. We are not prepared to get attached to and then lose an older cat or two too soon. I feel terrible, but between losing my parents and three cats (we lost our beloved kitten, Betsy (aged 20) two years ago), I've had too many losses these past few years. I don't think my broken heart can take much more.

So, we're without cats making tracks on our freshly vacuumed carpet. We're without food and water bowls in our kitchen. We aren't maintaining multiple litter boxes and doling out treats ... not that we haven't scoured websites and Facebook pages looking for our next much-anticipated kittens. It seems our timing is just OFF.

We will have cats in our lives again.

It can't come soon enough.

Help me make some BUZZ!

If you've wanted to read A JUST CLAUSE and have been waiting for the paperback, the wait will come to an end in 40 days. You can help me build some buzz by going to Goodreads and clicking the green WANT TO READ button.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32791157-a-just-clause

 Thanks!

It's Friday the 13th -- are you nervous?

Like the subject line says ... It's Friday the 13th. Are you nervous about it?  Are you a superstitious person?

I'm not. And the reason?  Black cats are supposed to be unlucky. I've had black cats for most of my life. My first came with a very silly name. I was six and I didn't know you were "allowed" to change the name of a cat. Poor cat was saddled with that name for twelve years. Since then, I've learned that as long as you feed a cat and call it by its new name, it will learn very quickly, "Hey, I'm not stupid name anymore, now I'm called Most Excellent Name!"

Well, here we are on Friday the 13th 2018 (first of two this year.  the other is in July) and I have no black cat. In fact, I don't have two black cats.  We lost both our boys last month (within 12 days of each other) and have been in mourning ever since. We know there is another black cat somewhere in our future, we just don't know when.

Walk under a ladder?  Well, I wouldn't do that just because it's unsafe.

Breaking a mirror?  That upsets me, because it can be terribly unsafe and I don't like getting cut, but I'm not worried about seven years of bad luck.

Opening an umbrella inside? Fahgettaboutit. Why worry?  In fact, it didn't faze me at all when I bought some "studio lights."  Love them!  Haven't used them much, but I have no problem opening the umbrellas that diffuse light.

Spilling salt? And then canceling out the bad luck by throwing it over your shoulder? No. First, I've already spilled the salt ... probably on the counter.  I'm not throwing it over my shoulder so that I have to clean off the counter AND sweep the floor.  Not gonna happen.

There is one thing that I am wary of ... and only because my mother would have a cow if anyone put shoes on a table. But in retrospect, for me it's more a matter of germs. Eeeek! I know where those shoes have been! Imagine the bacteria they've trudged through!!!

Is there something you're superstitious about?

Who knew? I've been Trendy for Years!

Okay, I lied in the subject line. I've never been trendy ... until now, I guess. Why?  

I've been going to yard, garage, estate and rummage sales for years. I always assumed it was because I was cheap. Now it turns out I'm "thrifting."

I admit it. Before I had a booth in an antiques arcade, I rarely went to such sales, but when you need stock and have a weekly rent to pay, you visit these sales and thrift shops. Since then, I begrudge paying retail. And since I'm into recycling, etc., I like the idea that things aren't ending up in landfills when they can be used and/or repurposed.

It was only a week or so ago when I was looking at decluttering videos on YouTube that I learned about thrifting.  I've subscribed to a few of those channels.  My favorite is Thrift Diving (by Serena Appiah -- she's funny, knowledgeable, and knows how to use power tools!).

Another one I like (because of her Thursday Thrift Store Hauls) is Robin Johnson's Happy At Home channel.  She likes white rooms, which aren't my favorite, but she has lots of great tips for repurposing items.

I like shabby chic, but not too chippy when it comes to paint.  For one, they might have lead paint, and for another ... some things look like there was a reason they were discarded in the first place.

I'm a sucker for teacups, china (particularly square plates and brown transferware), and doilies, but lots of other things tickle my fancy.

Yard sale season starts in a couple of weeks. I've signed up to get a weekly email announcement that tells me where all the sales are within a five mile radius of my house. Can't wait until tomorrow to see if it comes.

Do you go thrifting?

From the Ashes? Teacup Tuesday!

Happy Teacup Tuesday. Isn't this cup pretty? It's a peacock, but I like to think it's a phoenix. Imagine that -- Sassy Sally's (Victoria Square Mysteries) came back from the ashes (metaphorically speaking). It was a ruin -- and as the next story will show, it is now a show palace. A wistful Katie Bonner couldn't be happier.

Yule Be Dead now available for Preorder

Happy Monday!  It certainly is for me and Gayle Leeson, my co-author on Victoria Square #5, YULE BE DEAD, which is now available for Preorder. No cover yet -- but I'll share as soon as I get it.

 Read all about the next book is the series by clicking one of the links below.

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