Can I PLEASE just speak to a human being?

by guest blogger Nancy J. Cohen

How often have you tried to reach customer service on the telephone only to be transported through multiple levels of automated replies? Not only does this take up your time, but it raises your aggravation factor tenfold. 

“Just give me a person,” you shout into the phone to no avail.

When that doesn’t work, you punch the “O” on your keypad. Instead of bringing up the operator, you get a message that says, “I’m sorry, I don’t recognize that response.” And the litany of automated choices begins again.

A while ago, I came across a post online that mentioned a website called http://gethuman.com. This useful site lists companies with instructions on how to bypass their telephone tree.

A miracle!

Of course, every time I want to call someone, I’m not going to look up this website, scroll down to the company, and read the instructions. Too much rigmarole. But the site does give some general tips that may be useful. For example, repeatedly say “Customer Service” or “Representative”, and you might get connected to a live person. Or push the zero key. As mentioned above, though, this may not get you the operator, in which case the automated choices are read to you again.

It’s just so annoying when we have to talk to a machine these days instead of a person. Trying to get hold of someone in your doctor’s office is probably the worst. You end up leaving a message, and if you’re lucky, you might get a call back by dinner time. The cable company? Forget it. We’d finally reached tech service and scheduled an appointment. The night before, we received an automated phone call that said the problem in the area had been fixed and our appointment was canceled. What problem in the area? I had to call up all over again and reschedule, then wait for two more automated confirmation phone calls.

Give me back the old days when real people answered the telephone.
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Nancy J. Cohen is an award-winning author who writes romance and mysteries. Her popular Bad Hair Day series features hairdresser Marla Shore, who solves crimes with wit and style under the sultry Florida sun. Here latest entry in the series is Shear Murder:  Who knew weddings could be murder?  Hairstylist Marla Shore is weeks away from becoming a bride herself when she walks down the aisle as a bridesmaid at her friend Jill’s ceremony. Things take a turn for the worse when the matron of honor ends up dead, the cake knife in her chest. Now what will they use to cut the cake? BUY NOW!

Follow Nancy on her Social Networks: Website   ~ Blog ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Goodreads

Leave a comment during Nancy’s blog tour and enter to win a free signed book.
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I won't strut the catwalk in these boots . . .

Winter's here, and I've got boots.

For many years (more than a decade), I couldn't say that.  Why?  Because I couldn't find any boots I liked.  Okay, I'll admit it. My last pair of boots leaked like sieves and I figured I may as well just wear my sneakers and have wet feet anyway.  But this year ... I decided to bite the bullet.

I'm no clothes horse.  I've had fashionable boots in the past.  Not only did they leak, but they hurt my feet.  This year, my mother saw a pair of Totes boots she liked at JCPenney, but they didn't have her size, so I ordered them for her online.  As it happens, we wear the same size shoe, so when her boots came, I tried them on, and--Whoa--they fit perfectly. Even better, they weren't super expensive.  I went straight home and ordered a pair for myself.
What a difference.  Unlike my sneakers, they're WARM.  So far my feet have stayed dry.  I can shovel and not have Popsicle toes.  I am a happy camper!

It's true, they are NOT glamorous, but so what?  I want warm, dry feet and they deliver.  Now to hope they last more than one season without leaking.

Are you a fashion hound when it comes to boots, or do you just want dry feet?
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Surely that's WORTH a giant cookie!

by guest blogger Janet Bolin

My mystery-writing career began when someone lost a shoe.

I found it.

To the consternation of the woman walking with me, I shoved the shoe into my briefcase and took it home.

The next morning, I took the shoe to work and called my doctor.

Are you still with me? Oh, sorry, that was rather a large . . . um . . . step.

Okay, here’s how the conversation went, sort of.

Me: “Have any of your patients reported losing an orthotic?”
Receptionist: “No.”

Me: “Because I found one. It matches my orthotic.”

Receptionist: “Is it yours?”

Me: “No. The sticker on the bottom of mine says Bolin. The sticker on the bottom of hers is torn, but these are the letters I can read. T-E-N-A.”

Receptionist: “First or last name?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Silence.

Me: (getting desperate—as anyone who has ever purchased orthotics knows, they are hideously expensive.) “It’s in a blue suede woman’s shoe, size 8M.”

More silence. Then, with a great deal of doubt, “I’ll see if we have any patients matching that.” Click. Dial tone.

My sense of triumph lasted at least an hour. But day after day passed, and I didn’t hear from the doctor’s office. Some poor woman had lost an expensive item, and could be hobbling around on very sore feet. On one very sore foot.

What could have possibly happened to her? Maybe something terrible.  
  
I started to write about a woman setting out to find the owner of a lost shoe.  I scribbled and scribbled (actually, I keyed the words, but scribbling sounds much more dramatic) and couldn’t stop.

Finally, I received a call. “I hear you found my shoe.”

Tena showed up at my office to collect her shoe and her expensive orthotic. She brought me a HUGE chocolate chip cookie in the shape of a high-heeled shoe. “The people in my office are calling you the Shoe Goddess,” she said.

Breaking off and gobbling chunks of cookie, the people in my office probably started thinking of me as the Chocolate Chip Cookie Goddess.

We all lived happily ever after.

All of us, that is, except for the woman in my story who lost a shoe . . .

That was my first manuscript, the one that lives in the proverbial drawer. But I was hooked on writing mysteries.

What about you? Did you ever do something strange that propelled you into accomplishing something you’d always wanted to try?
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The first book in Janet Bolin’s Threadville Mystery series is Dire Threads. Visit her website or talk to her on Facebook and/or Twitter.  The second book in the series is Threaded for Trouble, arriving in stores June 5, 2012, and is now available for pre-order.

Dire Threads:  Amazon ~ Kindle   ~ Barnes & Noble / Nook   ~  Indigo   ~  Books A Million   ~  The Book Depository    ~  Independent (US) Bookstores

Threaded For Trouble:  Amazon   ~  Barnes & Noble   ~  The Book Depository   ~   Books A Million  ~ Independent (US) Bookstores

I can now be taken out in public!

Well, it's about time I spiffed up.  I mean, I do have a book signing to go to in a couple off week.  (I'll be signing The Walled Flower.  If you're in the Rochester, NY area -- maybe you can come and say "HI!")

Now, I hate to dress up, but in the past couple of months, I've invested in several scarves. I have a really pretty purple and gold one (it shimmers), silver, a black-and-white floral.  I even have a few knitted ones. (The one I made myself convinced me that my knitting days are over, thank you very little Mr. Carpal Tunnel syndrome.)

But what do I know about wearing them?  Well, isn't Google just the best thing around.  I found a video to help me out.  (Although, come on -- NOT choice No. 3.  The woman looks like she's trying out to be the bow on a Valentine's Day gift.)

So far I've successfully worn one of my scarves once. I mean, I went to a party and nobody laughed. In fact, a couple of other women were wearing very nice scarves. I felt like I belonged (and believe me, that doesn't happen very often).

Do you wear scares to spiff up?

Movies I've seen at least 20 times . . .

Okay, over the years I've had a LOT of favorite movies.  And now I have a new one.

Okay, I still have LOTS of favorite movies that I watch depending on my mood.  Sometimes I watch Star Trek: The Search For Spock, because if there was ever a story that explores the depths of friendship, that's it.  I love Star Trek First Contact because we see Captain Picard pushed to the brink, and yet . . . he's still every bit a hero.

I watch Pollyanna when I have a long and boring task (because it's incredibly LONG) and because Hayley Mills is charming.  I also love The Secret Garden. (And I read the book a couple of times every years, too.)

I love White Christmas and hate Betty Haines every time I watch it.  But I still watch it.  Wayyyyy too many times when Christmas rolls around.  (Why didn't she just ask Bob what he was up to?  Nooooo, that would have shortened the story by about twenty minutes.  But she wouldn't have looked like such a jerk.)

But lately I've been watching Love Actually (when I can tear myself away from my latest manuscript.  I admit, I did watch it at least four times in December ... not all that much, really.)  It's such a cool movie, with so many different looks at what makes love.  People in love.  People out of love.  People wanting love.  Peopel denying themselves of love.  And though it's set at Christmastime, it doesn't have to be Christmas to enjoy it. And for most of the people involved, it has a happy ending.  (Come on, sometimes you really just want to see  happy ending.)

What's your current favorite movie?

Last week I went to the Lands End Inlet (as opposed to outlet) store.  Way cool!  I was on a mission:  to buy one of their wonderful tote bags.  I thought it would be a great way to carry stuff to and fro this summer when we go to the cottage.  (Can you tell I'm already counting the days until we can start going down there again?)
So we drove across town and go into the store.  I asked one of the clerks where to find them. She said against the wall, but if we didn't mind monogrammed ones, they were on sale.

She wasn't kidding.  The monogrammed ones -- I assume ones that were ordered but for some reason never purchased, or perhaps they were monogrammed incorrectly -- were drastically cheaper.  As a former vendor in an antiques co-op, it pains me to pay retail for anything, so getting a bargain was a good deal for me.

I picked through the bags (and boy, were there a lot of them) and found the perfect one.  It was white with pink accents with a monogram of HCO.  Not only that, but there are cool pockets inside, and it zippered shut.  Can you say "almost perfect in every way?"

When I went to pay for it, the clerk said I would get an extra 20% off.  Even better!  As she cashed out my purchase, she asked if I was interested in removing the monogram.  I was.  So she put in a sheet of instructions on what to do.  Ya know what, I actually read the thing for helpful hints!
I got home, borrowed a seam ripper from my mother, took out a pair of fine tweezers and went to work.  First, I went after the BIG C in the middle.

Whoa--this was a lot harder than it looked.  I had to get out Mr. L's head loupe because the stitches were very tiny and my close-range eyesight has never been all that good.  After quite a long time, I managed to pick out all of the letter C.  As far as I was concerned, that was enough.  Until I realized what the remaining letters spelled.

Can you say "HO!"

NO, I did NOT want to be known as a HO -- but oy!  The "O" was pretty easy, but it took forever to pick out that H, which had a lot of curlicues. Afterwards, I followed the instructions, which said to use a little liquid Ivory Snow and gently wash the area with a toothbrush and it would help hide the offending letters. (Lucky I had some on hand.)  I did, and it did! Now I have a lovely tote and without someone else's monogram or an offensive term written on it.

What was your last great bargain?

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous this aint!

Recently one of my ex-co-workers responded to a Facebook post where I talked about the upcoming release of The Walled Flower.  (okay, can you blame me?  It's one of my favorite topics right about now.)  In it she said, "I know somebody famous."

Wait a minute.  Me, famous?

No, no, no.

I'm not even a celebrity (and when you consider that people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian get to be celebrities by appearing in sex videos -- no thanks, that's not the life I'm looking for).

Let's face it, even in my Lorna Barrett persona (my best known name), I couldn't walk into a Starbucks in Rochester, NY and get a free cup of Joe by pulling the fame card.  "Who?" they say, squinting at me and taking in my faded jeans (they got that way by years of wear, not by paying an exorbitant price.  And besides, I don't drink coffee.)

I've always heard it's better to be rich than famous.  I think that must be true, but about now, I'm wondering how to get to the rich part.

And if I was rich, what would I do with all that money?

Well, first off, I'd get a brand spanking new kitchen.  I have a TINY kitchen (and worry that future prospective buyers will bolt when they find out it's so tiny there's no room for even a bistro table and chairs), but I don't even want granite counters, and stainless steel appliances.  Nope, just some new counters (Formica is fine with me) and reface the cabinets.  Oh, and replace the slippery-when-wet ceramic tile with one that has a little texture.

A new car.  Not a Caddy or even a BMW ... nope.  A Town and County minivan with stow-and-go seats.  Don't even need extra BRDs (beverage restraint devices) because I use both hands to drive (and, as mentioned above, I don't drink coffee).

I could give more money to charity if I had more to spare.  My favorite charities are:  Crackerbox Palace farm animal rescue (a lot of people see farm animals as expendible.  Well, I don't. They deserve a long and happy life just like cats and dogs), The Wayne County Humane Society (I'd give to the one in my own county, only they are well funded--Wayne County has a lot of poverty, and not enough $$$ to spay and neuter, etc.) and St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital (although I'd feel a lot more comfortable giving them more money if they laid off sending stuff out like stickers and calendars and stuff and just used the money I send to CURE KIDS OF CANCER!!!!!).  I'd also give more to my local Food Pantry.

Okay, I MIGHT buy a few bracelets and earrings, and a couple of 1950s Christmas figurines that cost more than a buck each (my garage sale limit).  But other than that . . . .

What would you buy if you had unlimited funds?

Has the golden age of personal web sites passed?

I have counters on the index (home) pages of my web sites (and even on this blog).  That way I can see how many people come to visit on a daily/weekly basis.

It's no surprise that my Lorna web site gets the most hits, and it's pretty steady.  (That's unique visitors.)  I sure wish it was more, but I'll take what I can get.

Unfortunately, my other two personas don't get those kinds of hits.  It's discouraging to me, because I've been shouting from any rooftop I can find that I'm writing under three names.  Lorraine's site is doing eh-okay.  L.L.'s site ... you don't want to know.  This pie chart isn't accurate, but it's not too far off, either.

This is rather discouraging.  Especially since Lorraine has a new book coming out Februray 7th.

I put my web site address on all my promotional material.  I list them in the acknowledgments in all my books.  I would expect that more people would seek the sites out.

Do you think the golden age of web sites is over?  What do you like to see in an author's website?

(Just in case you want to visit my websites to compare them, you can find them by clicking my various names:  Lorna ~ Lorraine ~ L.L. )
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Oh, how I hate winter ... how about you?

Here in Western NY, we've been enjoying November for the past three months.  I'm sure other parts of the Northeast have, too.   It's been great.  I mean, I can't remember such a wonderful winter.  A winter with virtually no snow.

Last year was the pits.  It seemed like it snowed every day. I was out there with my roof rake just about every day, and snowblowing the top of the driveway, too.  (We have an "L" shaped driveway.) Over the summer, we had our landscaping redone.  Weeeee!  Suddenly without all that overgrown stuff lining the drive, the plowman can get in and plow the L-shaped top of the drive.  But oddly enough ... he's only had to do it once this season.

Until today.

Winter has suddenly reappeared.  BAH!  Humbug.

I was quite prepared to go straight through until May with November weather and now ... it's all been ruined.
I'm sure that a few weeks from now Punxsutawney Phil pops out of his hole on February 2nd, you just KNOW he's going to way SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER.  I'm just afraid he'll say TWELVE more weeks of winter because we've skirted the issue for so long.

How's winter been where you live?

The PO just loves me ... NOT!

Guess what?  I can't get 32 cent stamps.

Why is that such a big deal?

Because I want to mail my postcards for The Walled Flower out AFTER the postage goes up next week.  But guess what?  They won't sell the new stamps UNTIL the postage goes up.  That wouldn't give me much time to stick the stamps on over 2500 postcards.

And why am I waiting to send the postcards until AFTER the postage goes up?  Wouldn't it be cheapter to do it now?

Yup.  By $75 . . . except . . . it's expecting a LOT to ask people to remember HERE'S MY NEW BOOK, BUT YOU CAN'T GET IT FOR THREE WEEKS.  Nope, it's better to send the cards out about a week before publication.  (Although some stores do jump the gun and offer the book for sale ahead of the publication date -- which screws up my changes of hitting the New York Times bestseller list ... but in the long run it's sales, not the timing of them, that really count.)

So, the bad news is I have had to buy my stamps at the current rate (and my local PO ran out of the 29 cent herb stamps and I had to resort to some polar bear stamps), PLUS either 3 cent or 4 cent stamps to bring the postage up to the new rate.  Can you say "TAKES TWICE AS LONG?"

*Sigh*

I'm not liking the P.O. much these days.  (They could at least consult ME before they change rates, and the timing of such, right?)

Anyway, keep a watch out -- a postcard just might be making its way to you in the next week or so.
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And the alternative to taxes is ...?

Ugh ... if you work for yourself (and most authors without day jobs do), you have to pay your quarterly taxes in time for January 15th.

Today's the day!

Um ... it's very painful.  Mind you, I anticipated the coming of this day and put some money aside in a special account just for that reason.  It has a WHOPPING 0.25% interest.  Let's see, how many millions of years would it take me to become a millionaire on the interest?  100?  200?  Oh, no -- that can't happen ... because I'm writing that quarter check that takes the money away from me and gives it to the government.  The one that doesn't have enough money to fix the roads or bridges, but can give Congressmen exorbitant raises and free health care for life.  (The pain of writing my quarterly health care check came two weeks ago.)  And mind you, self-employed people are screwed royally.  We don't have an employer paying half our FICA taxes -- the whole shebang is on our shoulders.

They say there's nothing as certain as death and taxes.  I guess I'd rather pay than face the alternative.

And guess what -- the next check must be paid in April.  Yikes.  I'm looking forward to spring, but not April 15th.  How about you?
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The most precious gift

Well, the tree and ornaments are packed away for another year.  The stockings likewise. The holiday music is back in the drawer (taking up most of it, I might add), and Mr. L has breathed a sigh of relief for another 11 months.

Santa was very good to me this year.  Mr. L gave me a Kindle Fire (which I will blog more about later) and a bunch of other swell stuff, but the gift that meant the most to me was this one ... in a frame.



This picture of our sister act was taken only a few months before we lost our dear sweet Bonnie (left).  Unwrapping this made me cry, but only because I miss her so.  Bonnie wasn't smiling, but maybe that's because she already didn't feel well.  (We'll never know.)

What was your favorite Christmas or Hanukkah gift?
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They call my name . . . and I am weak . . .

Can you believe it?  Here we are in the second week of January and there is STILL holiday food hanging around and taunting me?

Okay, so it isn't really holiday food.

No candy canes.

No cut-out cookies (they're long gone).

No fruitcake.  (Okay, we didn't have any of that -- and I wouldn't have eaten it anyway ... just sayin'.)

But we got several gift baskets of yummy things that have delicious things.  Like cheese.  Crackers.  CHOCOLATE COVERED COOKIES!!!

The easiest way to resist them is NOT to open them.  Okay, got that.  But do these goodies have to come with a voice?

"Come here.  I'm delicous.  Eat me!"

I feel like Alice in Wonderland, only I won't get smaller if I eat them, and that's been the goal.

Do you still have holiday treats hanging around?
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Not quite up to Elizabeth Taylor's standards, but . . .

Why is it all of a sudden I'm going ga-ga for jewelry?  I find myself looking at it wherever I go ... and in those catalogs I mentioned yesterday.

I want necklaces.

Bracelets.

Earrings.

Anklets.

Rings.

Eyebrow studs. (No, wait.  Erase that.)

And I never go anywhere to wear the stuff.  Yup, most nights it's me in front of the stereo reading or in front of the DVD player watching Star Trek: Voyager. (Gotta love Captain Janeway! And notice ... she doesn't wear jewelry.)

I considered buying this "sisters in heart" pin for myself and two of my best buds for Christmas.  But then the shipping was astronomical and I found out that though the pin looks BIG in the catalogs (and online) it was teeny weeny if you read the fine print (only 1.25 inches high).

Guess who didn't get the pins for Christmas.  (Besides, one of my pals told me that "only old ladies wear pins."  Should I be afraid to wear a pin now for fear of being branded OLDE? (and yes, I put that added "e" on there deliberately. <g>) 

The best way NOT to buy something like jewelry is to NOT look at it in stores and online.

Can you say "new New Year's resolution?"
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I did a lot of my holiday shopping online.  I also bought a bunch of clothes this fall ... again, online.  Only now I'm being flooded with catalogs!

At first it was fun getting all these wonderful catalogs and perusing the pages to see if there was anything I wanted, or anything I wanted to give as a gift.

But then I finished my holiday shopping.

I figured once the holidays were over I'd stop getting so many.  Uh-uh.  I'm still geting one or two a WEEK from every one of these outfits.

STOP ALREADY!!!!

Here's a place to do it:  Catalog Choice.
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A daily dose of cupcakes

Okay, my New year's Resolution (besides exercise) is to lose some weight.

Uh-oh!

What did I choose for a calendar for 2012?

Not such a wise choice.  Twelve months of luscious, GORGEOUS cupcakes.

What's the theme of your new calendar(s)?

(P.S.  I have a cat calendar for the kitchen.)

January's cold -- read some hot new mysteries!

Hey, it's the first Tuesday of the month -- ya know what that means?




It Takes a Witch
by Heather Blake (aka Heather Webber)
Darcy Merriweather has just discovered she hails from a long line of Wishcrafters-witches with the power to cast spells by making a wish. She's come to Enchanted Village to learn her trade but finds herself in the middle of a murder investigation...

Amazon ~ Kindle
Barnes & Noble ~ Nook
Independent Booksellers






An Appetite for Murder
by Lucy Burdette
Hayley Snow's life always revolved around food. But when she applies to be a food critic for a Key West style magazine, she discovers that her new boss would be Kristen Faulkner-the woman Hayley caught in bed with her boyfriend! Hayley thinks things are as bad as they can get-until the police pull her in as a suspect in Kristen's murder. Kristen was killed by a poisoned key lime pie. Now Hayley must find out who used meringue to murder before she takes all the blame.

Amazon ~ Kindle
Barnes & Noble ~ Nook
Independent Booksellers

Give them a try -- you won't be sorry!
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Doesn't everybody love having a backed-up sink?

We have been without a disposal in our sink since mid-December.  Mind you, we weren't using it before then because it wouldn't turn off.  It would run and run and you'd have to hit the thing with the big orange flashlight that lives under the sink.

The thing is ... when you're used to a disposal you tend to let stuff go down the sink.  Mind you, I hardly ever use the thing.  I chop up kitchen waste for my (not very efficient) composter.  (We're on year two and still have no appreciable compost.  Don't ask me where the stuff goes.)  Anyway, Mr. L uses it and mostly uneaten cat food goes down it.

Well, one day the water wouldn't go down and the cleaning ladies were on their way. Nothing to do but start the thing up.  And boy did that water go down fast.  I got out the flashlight and whacked the disposal to make it stop.

AND NOTHING HAPPENED!

It ran and ran and no matter how many times (or how hard) I hit it, it ran and ran.  The reset button was useless.  Nothing to do but let it burn itself out -- which it did after about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, Mr. Orange Tupperware Strainer has been living in our sink.  We strain off everythig so it doesn't go down the big hole that is Mr. Kitchenaid Disposal.

Mr. L had to order a new Mr. Kitchenaid Disposal. And darnitall--wouldn't you know the warranty had run out a few months before it died?  (It was 7 years old ... or was it 8?)

Anyway, today new Mr. Kitchenaid Disposal will be installed.  YAY!  Let the food waste go bye-bye!

What kitchen appliance have you waited far too long to be installed?
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And because I NEED to consume more calories . . .

I love chocolate covered pretzels.  The only problem is ... if you buy them, you HAVE TO EAT THE WHOLE BAG.  Now, I'm trying to lose weight -- not so easy to do during the holidays.  So ... I decided to make just a few.

I already had a jar of mini pretzel rods.  I found a little liqueur glass in the cupboard (now, where did it and its brothers come from?) which was just the right size for dipping.


 Next, I filled it with chocolate chips and melted them in the microwave.  (About 45 seconds.)



Next, I dipped the pretzels in the glass and rolled them in non-pareils.



A bit messy. I ended up getting out my frosting knife and smearing the pretzels with chocolate and then sprinkling them with the non-pareeils.  But in the end, they looked just fine.



They were YUMMY -- and not too many to ruin the old diet (especially since I shared them).

An easy-to-make holiday treat.

Have you ever made them?  (Would you?)

And a Joyous Leon to you, too!

Not too many years ago, it was (country) chick (oops chic) to spell things out with children's building blocks.  And what better season thant at Christmastime.  Always a slave to trends, I was suckered in.



But for some reason, the blocks have always ended up like this.



Even our (late) cat Bon-Bon would get into the act playing with blocks.  (We miss her so.)
 

Hey, look what my dear friend Leann Sweeney sent me for Christmas.  Aren't they beautiful?  (Fred already tried to eat them.)



We're having impossible sausage-onions-green-pepper-mushrooms pie for supper tonight.  (After we hoist a glass and eat our roasted (in the oven not over an open fire) chestnuts.)

What are you doing for Christmas Eve?
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I can no longer multitask -- how about you?

Okay, what I want to know is this:  How did I ever accomplish ANYTHING when I had a 40 hour a week job?

When I was working full time, I also had a booth in an antiques arcade.  I also wrote.  At Christmastime I shopped for elevendy-million people for Christmas, sent out over 100 Christmas cards, and baked up a storm, and managed to keep up with everything else in the house (like cleaning and laundry)
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Now?  Not so much.

I mean, here we are less than a week from Christmas and I'm desperately trying to fit in time to actually do my job, which is write.  Okay, the ENTIRE weekend was taken up (and so was a big chunk of last week) getting ready to promote The Walled Flower (which comes out on Feb. 7th for those of you who are counting the days).  I've got the library and bookseller postcards and bookmark packages FINISHED.  I've rebuilt half my mailing list (that Word ate THREE TIMES in September), ran Christmas errands, shopped for stuff like groceries, and did two loads of laundry.

Today is shot.  There are errands that MUST be run, people coming to clean and fix stuff around here, and more laundry has to happen.  The rest of the week will be eaten up by getting ready for Sunday.  (Baking, cleaning, wrapping, shopping, etc.)

All I can say is, I'd better catch up on the writing in the next couple of weeks.  The good thing: I really like what I've written so far, which is always a plus.

Are you struggling to get ready for the holidays?

The wrapping paper is almost as important

Yesterday I received a lovely gift from a friend. Oooh!  I love receiving lovely gifts from friends. It came in a plain brown box, but inside was a lovely white box tied with a red ribbon.  You can't tell by the picture, but the paper was textured and there was a card taped under the ribbon.

I had lots of fun opening my gift and admiring it. But what I didn't at first notice was how much fun the wrapping paper was for three very nosy cats.

First Chester had to investigate, trying to dig a hole through the paper.  (He likes to do that on boxes, and in bed at night, too.)  Then Fred had to investigate what "the black cat did."  (Fred is the quintessential "copy cat."  Whatever Chester does, Fred has to do, too.  The box the gift came in was fully investigated, too.)

But it was our little princess Betsy who had the most fun.

Betsy sat on the paper -- in at least a dozen poses. She sniffed it.  She peeked over the top.  She batted her paw at it.  She sat on it. She enjoyed it.

Therefore, this present was more than just a gift to me, it was the gift of fun for my cats.

You can't ask for better than that!

Do your pets get in the act when it comes to (wrapping and) unwrapping gifts?
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In which I plug my Christmas stories . . .

Did I mention that my editor asked me why I don't write a "winter" Booktown Mystery?  Because I don't live in New Hampshire.  I can't knowledgeably write about winter in a state where I've I've never been during that season.  I mean, I could fake it, but from what I hear, southern NH doesn't get half the snow we get here in Western New York.  (And Tricia doesn't live near the mountains, so she isn't going skiing any time soon.)

Okay, so I'm writing about ALMOST winter in New Hampshire by setting the 7th book in November.  Of course, they probably will schedule it for summer.  My friend Ellery Adams is lamenting the fact that her latest book, THE LAST WORD (which is wonderful, by the way), set at the beach (hence, a beach read), has just come out in December.  Go figure!  What were the schedulers thinking?

But I HAVE written two SHORT STORIES (and let me be clear that they are SHORT STORIES, NOT NOVELS -- because some readers have given me terrible Amazon reviews because they DIDN'T READ THE PRODUCT DESCRIPTION and were disappointed that they got a SHORT STORY instead of a novel.  Again I repeat, Go Figure!) that are set at Christmastime.

We're So Sorry Uncle Albert is about a family that finds their stingy Uncle Albert, who's been mooching off of the family for years, is actually quite wealthy.  Naturally the family isn't all that happy and decide that Uncle Albert has overstayed his worldly welcome.  And they plot to get rid of him.  It's a jolly holiday all right!  It's only available as an e book.  You can find it at these links.

Bah! Humbug is a different kettle of fish.  It's a Jeff Resnick short that immediately follows the novel CHEATED BY DEATH (as in the very next day).  Jeff and Maggie have Christmas dinner with her family, but Jeff isn't all that welcome at the dinner table, and even Maggie is puzzled as to why.  If readers go on to the 4th book in the series (and I sure as heck hope they do), this story sets up one of the subplots.  You can find it at these links.

Okay, and now for a question.  Do you think readers would rather buy ALL my short stories in one ebook collection, even the romancy ones, for a discounted price, or wait until I have more mystery-oriented short stories and then do an anthology?  (And that could take a while because I don't crank out short stories very quickly.  When The Spirit Moves You, my latest (Jeff Resnick) short story,  took me over a year to write.)  I'd be very interested to know what you think.

And if you do buy/read the above-listed stories, and like them, I hope you'll think about writing a review.  I'd sure like to see the stories judged for what they ARE and NOT what they AREN'T.

Thanks!
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Hontest, I DON'T have a split personality

My next Victoria Square Mystery, THE WALLED FLOWER, will be out in less than two months.  It's time for me to get on the promotion bandwagon and start shouting out the news.  And yet, as I do this, I wonder if it's worth the effort.

I will send out bookmarks to independent bookstores.  I will send postcards to readers.  I'm thinking about sending postcards to libraries.

I love this book.  I think it's a really good book.  I think it's got a nice cover.

And I believe that at least 50% of Lorna Barrett's readers have no clue that Lorraine Bartlett and Lorna Barrett are the same author.

Why do I think this?

Because I don't get a lot of hits on my Lorna Website. The readers who do go there don't dig deep to find my Alter Ego page.  (Which I just destroyed and am in the process of rebuilding ... sigh ....)

My publisher isn't going to spend any money, time or effort to get the word out.  I've tried unsuccessfully for the past three years to get the word out with limited success.

It's been said the best form of advertising is word of mouth.  So I'm asking my reader to PLEASE help me get the word out.  How can you do that?  If you've enjoyed my books, tell other people about them.  It's as simple as that.

Will you help me?

(Thank you!)
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If you haven't yet read this series ... what are you waiting for???

I've been looking forward to today for a long time ... since March, actually.  What makes today so special?

THE LAST WORD, by Ellery Adams, is officially out (and it's already waiting for me on my Kindle).  It's the third book in her Books By The Bay Mysteries.

Yeah, yeah, she's my friend and works on my book trailers --- yada yada yada --- but she also happens to be a gifted author (I am awed by her power of description), and I love this series.  Maybe because it's about a group of people from different walks of life critiquing their writing.  Maybe because the woman who started the group has a a beautiful standard poodle she loves with all her heart.  Maybe because this same woman has a dark past and is afraid to trust, but has a heart as big as the ocean she lives on.

Book #1, A Killer Plot: In the small coastal town of Oyster Bay, North Carolina, you'll find plenty of characters, ne'er-do-wells, and even a few celebs trying to duck the paparazzi. But when murder joins this curious community, the Bayside Book Writers are there to get the story... Olivia Limoges is the subject of constant gossip. Ever since she came back to town-a return as mysterious as her departure-Olivia has kept to herself, her dog, and her unfinished novel. With a little cajoling from the eminently charming writer Camden Ford, she agrees to join the Bayside Book Writers, break her writer's block, and even make a few friends...  But when townspeople start turning up dead with haiku poems left by the bodies, anyone with a flair for language is suddenly suspect. And it's up to Olivia to catch the killer before she meets her own surprise ending.

Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble

Book #2: A Deadly Cliche:  While walking her poodle, Olivia Limoges discovers a dead body buried in the sand. Could it be connected to the bizarre burglaries plaguing Oyster Bay, North Carolina? At every crime scene, the thieves set up odd tableaus: a stick of butter with a knife through it, dolls with silver spoons in their mouths, a deck of cards with a missing queen. Olivia realizes each setup represents a cliché. And who better to decode the cliché clues than her Bayside Book Writers group?

Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble



Book #3:  The Last Word:  Olivia Limoges and the Bayside Book Writers are excited about Oyster Bay's newest resident: bestselling novelist Nick Plumley, who's come to work on his next book. But when Olivia stops by Plumley's rental she finds that he's been strangled to death. Her instincts tell her that something from the past came back to haunt him, but she never expects that the investigation could spell doom for one of her dearest friends...

Amazon ~ Barnes & Noble



This is a crucial time for the series.  While Ellery has already written a 4th book, it's up in the air if the publisher will go for a 5th.  It all depends on sales.  Do me a favor; if you love cozy mysteries and you haven't read/bought this series yet ...DO IT.  You will not be disappointed.

Selfishly, I hope Ellery will be writing about Olivia and Captain Haviland for many years to come.

I hope you feel the same way, too.