New and Improved!

As most of you are aware (because I can't seem to stop harping on it), my L.L. Bartlett Jeff Resnick series is finding new life as e books/short stories.  Well, the old web site just didn't reflect that, and while most of the same information is listed on my Lorraine Bartlett site (which not too many people have visited), I thought it best to update the original  site as well.

And guess what?  It's up and alive today.

Click here to take a look.

(The site update was done by Glass Slipper Design.)

Well, what do you think?

Here's Why I'm Not The KINDLE Queen

I don't know if "readers" follow Joe Konrath's blog, but a lot of writers/authors do.  I check in every couple of weeks, or when the whole writing community is buzzing about his latest post, I hit my bookmark for Joe's blog, A Newbie's Guide To Publishing.

Joe writes graphic thrillers and horror.  He's making a killing (pun intended) selling ebooks on Amazon's Kindle, too.  In fact, Joe sells MORE books on Kindle than he does in print, where he started out.

Joe has done it all, toured the country, taken a bazillion speaking engagements (often for no money) to get his name out there and has been very successful.  It's obvious that the groundwork he tirelessly laid has gotten him where he is today.

TV/Movie producer/author Lee Goldberg may be running a close second to Joe, and I make Lee's blog an almost daily stop.

These guys have something in common besides writing well and being well known:  they have a HUGE backlist.  (Well, Joe has self-published a lot of stuff that has sold well because his audience loves his works and knows he'll deliver.)

Me?  I have two novels and eight short stories up on Kindle and they ain't selling like hotcakes.  (Okay, Abused: A Daughter's Story IS selling like hotcakes, but that audience doesn't check out my other work (more's the pity).)

The problem:  I don't have a name.  Or the name I do have (Lorna Barrett) isn't the same name that's on the two novels and eight short stories.  I can only hope that when the Victoria Square Mysteries come out next year that the audience will go looking for other stuff I've done.

It's also been made pretty clear to me that I have to chop something big out of my life--my volunteer work--and actually do more writing and put it out there. Hey, this is my livelihood, and much as I enjoy that volunteer work, it doesn't pay for the washer that just died, or repairing the car that won't start, or the cleaning lady that comes every two weeks and keeps the house clean so I have more time to write to pay for the things that break ... and on and on.


So, why can't I make as much money as Joe?  I haven't laid the groundwork.

Oh!  Look at the time.  Time to go to work and WRITE.

And if you're looking for "new-to-you" Kindle books from traditionally published authors, check out Backlist E Books on facebook.

A little bit of pack rat in me . . .

Yesterday I posted about how I needed to clear out the closet so I could stow the bookmarks and books, etc.

Hmm.  Turns out, it's much easier said than done.  Oh I did get rid of a lot of stuff.  I consolidated a lot of stuff, but I still don't have enough room for all the books and bookmarks.  Clearly, I need to be more ruthless.  And throw it away?  I couldn't do that.  I put it all in boxes for the next garage sale (which I hope will be next summer--at my mother's house!  My garage isn't visible from the street and people think I don't have any stuff when I put out a sign.)

But I have discovered a packrat-like tendency in myself for certain things. 

Plate hangers.  I admit it, I collect square and brown transferware dishes.  I have several that are waiting to be hung.  (Okay, I have seven.  These things take time.)  However, I have something like 25 brand new plate hangers in two shoe boxes waiting for plates. Um. Did I mention I also have about 25 of them (used--garage sale purchase, $2) at our summer cottage, too?

Blank Note Cards:  Okay, I have a thing for pretty notecards. And Michael's makes it realllllllly easy to stock up on them in their $1 bins.  No lie, I must have about 1000 blank cards (and envelopes) because I just keep buying them at yard sales.  Usually they're packages of 8-10 with a couple missing, but some of these have never been opened.  And I buy stationery boxes too.  Farm houses, cats, pansies, more cats, more flowers.  You name it, I got the season covered.

Certificates:  In lieu of giving its employees raises and or little bonuses, my former employer was really big on giving certificates.  Foolish person that I am, I put the ones that didn't come in frames (most of the ones from the last 10 years of my employment) in (garage sale) frames.  Time to dump them.  Well, I couldn't. So seldom was heard a NON-discouraging word in that joint, that I'm keeping the certificates for a while longer.  The frames?  Into the garage sale boxes.

Old Dolls:  Do I really need these childhood dolls that are mostly broken or just in very sad shape?  Hell yes!  Nobody takes MY dolls from me, buster, unless you want a fight on your hands.

Postcards:  I have two very nice cookie tins STUFFED with unused postcards that were brought back from my travels and from when my parents would travel around Europe.  I always figured I would use them one day.  Now the only postcards I send out are ones that advertise my books.  Give them up?  Not on your life.

Office Supplies:  Do I really need to have so many pens and pencils?  Staples.  Gummed hole reinforcements.  Glassine envelopes.  Lion clips.  Glue Sticks.  Highlighters.  White Out. Post-It Notes.  Envelopes (in various sizes). The answer to that is YES!!!

I also kept two chess sets, all my ribbon, some craft supplies.  Little boxes.  (Hey, they some in handy at Christmas time.)

So, yes, there is more room in the closet, but there'd be a lot more if I could part with more stuff.

How?

It's GOT to go!

Thanks to the cleaning lady who comes for a couple of hours every couple of weeks, my house is nice and clean, and pretty tidy, too.  Except for my office.

I know, I've ragged before on how messy my desk is (and I moved a bunch of papers, so it's not bad today), but the office itself still feels like a warehouse with all the boxes of books and bookmarks and piles of papers.

Somethings GOT to go.  Okay, I did clear out a bunch of boxes the other day and took them down to the basement to hide, er store them.  I need them.  I'm constantly sending stuff out and need (especially small) boxes.

What's got to happen is a major closet dump.  I have stuff in there I can't even get to because there's so much piled in there.  (Think Fibber Magee's closet.)  If I could part with the stuff I no longer need/use, I'd reclaim my leather reading chair and wouldn't trip over boxes of bookmarks.

Most of the stuff in the closet consists of file boxes of old stories, office supplies, and stuff leftover from my days as a dealer in an antiques co-op.  That's the stuff I've had a hard time parting with.  I miss those days something terrible, but not enough to go back into business.  It was just too time consuming for too little profit.  (Kind of like being an author, but I didn't get to stay home and sit around in my sweats.)

So, they've got to go.  Things like baby socks.  (Yeah, I'd buy them and make catnip toys out of them.  They were a big hit.  I always made new ones for Chester, so he's got about 12 of them lying around the house somewhere.)  Picture frames.  Plate stands (I think I have about 20 of them).  Ribbon.  (I used them for my fancy-schmancy tags and have about 20 spools in different colors.) I have a HUGE bag of potholder loops.  (As a kid, I loved to make potholders.  For some reason, I just kept buying the things at garage sales.  But now it's time for them to go.)

Yup.  That closet needs to be emptied ... so I can fill it up again.

What useless things do YOU have in YOUR closet?

And now it's the washer ...

First it was the DVD player, then hubby's computer -- and now the washer has died.

They say bad things happen in threes, so I'm hoping that's the end of it.

The washer is at least 25 years old and I've never had any trouble with it at all.  But yesterday I threw in a small load of towels and headed back to the office.  Near the end of the cycle, I headed on back to the laundry room to find a puddle on the floor.  Well, if it was going to leak, at least it waited until the tub was nearly empty, or else it would have been a disaster.  (Um...think boxes of files in the basement right under the washing machine.  They'll be moved.)

But today is a real day of chaos.  The pool is going to be closed, the cleaning lady arrives, and the computer guy is coming.  I have a huge pile of clothes to be washed and even if we buy a new one today, they probably won't deliver it until the end of the week.  Thank goodness my mother lives 7 houses down the street (because I already went there yesterday to do an emergency load).

As it happens, she's having a new laundry set up installed this week so she doesn't have to climb up and down stairs for the old set up in the basement.  We're hoping that's all set by the end of the week, too.
I'm not spending a million bucks on a new washer.  Have you seen the prices???  I'm getting a plain old top loader and hope I get another 25 years out of it, too.

Of course, the dryer is about the same age.  (Not sure exactly.  We're a "blended" utility family and it came with Hubby when we got married.)

My teeth are falling apart, I've got two cranky computers.  What else can go wrong?

I haven't heard a word in months....

Like a mute swan, my PC has been deathly quiet for a couple of months now.  One day I heard AOL tell me "You've got mail," and the next I didn't.

You can't watch videos without the sound.  They lose a LOT.

 You can't hear when new mail comes in so it will distract you from whatever work you're trying to get accomplished.

You can't hear what Whoopi had to say on the view yesterday.

It's boring.

Well, I'm hoping that'll change on Monday.  Mr. Lorna bought a new computer yesterday, only he's afraid to touch it.  So, he's called Mr. Computer Repair Geek.  This guy knows his stuff.  He's kept my e machine alive and well for the past five years, and I love this computer so much, I want him to keep it alive a bit (okay YEARS) longer.  (As I've mentioned before, I do not love my laptop (which is on the short list for replacement), and I do not love my iMac keyboard (any woman who doesn't bite her nails to the quick has GOT to hate it.  And they don't offer different styles.  Just the one).

I'm SOOOOOO hoping I can get my sound back.  I miss it.

I want to hear that guy say "You've got mail" every morning.  Wouldn't you?

PET PEEVE THURSDAY:

By Guest Blogger Susan Wittig Albert

When Lorna said that she’d like to have me as a guest for a Pet Peeve Thursday, I knew exactly what I’d write about: the pet peeve that sparked the central mystery plot in my upcoming book The Tale of Oat Cake Crag, the seventh in the eight-book series,

The Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter. The book is set in 1911 in the Lake District of England, where children’s author-illustrator Beatrix Potter owned a farm and went to escape from the noise and bustle of London.

But in late 1911, something started bugging Beatrix and the other villagers in the Land Between the Lakes. (True story. This really happened. I am not making it up.) The irritant was an airplane. An experimental hydroplane named the Water Bird, the first of its kind in England. The Water Bird made one heckuva racket.

 “A beastly fly-swimming spluttering aeroplane careering up & down over Windermere,” Beatrix wrote in a complaining letter to her friend Millie. “It makes a noise like 10 million bluebottles. . . . It has been buzzing up & down for hours today, and it has already caused a horse to bolt & smashed a tradesman’s cart.”

Now, you and I live in a modern world that’s filled with cell phones ringing and TVs blaring and trucks with illegal mufflers (my own pet peeve), so one airplane more or less probably doesn’t make much of a difference to us. But imagine that you had come to the country to enjoy the songs of birds and the bleating of sheep. Wouldn’t you be peeved if the rural peace and quiet was broken by what sounded to like a steam threshing machine flying buzzing over your head all day long? And what was worse, a second airplane was in the works. In fact, an airplane factory was being built on the rustic shore of idyllic Windermere, the most beautiful lake in England.

Well, Beatrix Potter was peeved. More than that, she was angry. But she didn’t just complain about it. She rolled up her sleeves and got to work. She collected signatures, wrote letters to magazines and to The Times, and petitioned the Home Secretary to do something about the nuisance. And--thanks in part to her efforts--something actually did get done. By the end of 1912, the airplane factory was blown away in a storm and the Water Bird was wrecked.

 I loved this story about how one woman’s pet peeve sparked a revolt against the inappropriate intrusion of technology into a “place of rest and peace.” So I wove the tale into a fanciful mystery about the development of Britain’s first hydroplane, the Water Bird. The story also involves a teenaged dragon who sees his chance to make his mark on history and an owl who doesn’t much like that airplane, either. (You didn’t think that airplane factory actually got blown away by the wind, did you?) Oh, and it also features Winston Churchill, First Lord of the Admiralty, who happened to love airplanes.

And of course, Miss Potter, whose pet peeve started the whole thing.

 
Book Drawing!

If you’d like to enter our drawing for a copy of The Tale of Oat Cake Crag, go here.

=================

Susan Wittig Albert writes the bestselling China Bayles mysteries, the Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter mysteries, and the Robin Paige Victorian/Edwardian mysteries written with her husband, Bill Albert. Click here to heck out her website. Catch Susan's Lifescapes blog, too

It's true . . . you never forget your first . . . .

My first book, Murder on the Mind, came out on audio last summer.  Boy, was I psyched.  But I heard a snippet of it on the publisher's web site that kind of turned me off.  It was one of my favorite scenes in the book and Richard came off all wrong--bombastic, which isn't like him at all!  (So says his creator.)  So when I got my "author copy" I didn't have the courage to open it.  It has sat in the bottom of my armoire for more than a year, gathering dust.

But then last month the Booktown Mysteries came out on audio.  Because they're only being released as MP3 downloads, I was afraid I wouldn't get to hear them for years, but my publisher very graciously offered to burn me a set on CD.  Yee-ha!  I have had such fun listening to the stories.  There are parts I remember with such clarity that I can recite the dialogue along with the reader, then there are parts I'd forgotten I'd written.  (I ended up taking a LOT of notes so that I can update my Booktown Bible, the file I keep on all the facts on even the most minor characters.  Hopefully that way I won't have any glaring glitches.)

I had thought Bookplate Special was my favorite of the four books, but now I'm thinking that maybe Chapter & Hearse is my favorite.  (Thought I think it'll be eclipsed next year when Sentenced to Death comes out.

I was happily listening to Bookplate Special when my royalty statement arrived for the audio version of Murder on the Mind.  Bleak doesn't begin to cover it.  I think I should have taken a lot more interest in the book and maybe I'd be making more money--and more importantly, my publisher would be making back its investment. 

I had reason to contact the editor at Books In Motion on another subject and asked her about it.  She suggested I might want to sell copies at one of my signings.  So, I bit the bullet and ordered two copies for some future signing.  As long as I was ordering, I noticed they had used copies .  I figured I'd give a copy to my mother (who's been bugging me to let her listen to my author copy).  So I ordered one for her.  It arrived the other day and I decided that since I so enjoyed the Booktown books being read, I really ought to give the first Jeff Resnick book a try.

And ... it was pretty good. (And I can still recite the dialogue for it, too.  Kinda neat!)

I'm only about a quarter of the way through the book (it's hard to concentrate on writing when you're hearing your own words being read), but I'm enjoying Jeff's story.  (And, yeah--I love being read to.  I guess I never outgrew that.)

So, here's hoping some of you will take a chance on the book, or maybe ask your local library to invest in a copy.  It can be purchased on CD or as MP3 downloads.

From Audible.com

From Books-In-Motion

From Barnes & Noble

What I will ask you NOT to do, though, is to download a free copy from hackers who have stolen the book and are cheating me AND my publisher out of royalties.  Yes, there are nasty people out there who have no morals or care who they rip off.  They're stealing the book, and if you download it for free, you are in possession of stolen goods.

There's a reason most authors can't make a living at writing, and being ripped off is one of them.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox.  Despite that caveat, I hope you'll find a way to listen to the book.

Thanks!

Talk about a surprise!

Last week, Mr. Lorna surprised me with a Kindle 3G!  It was wrapped in colorful paper that I tore off with a bit of trepidation.  What could be inside that rectangular shaped box.  Ah!  Maybe it was another box of DVDs ... but it seemed kind of heavy.

I opened the box and there it was--a white power cord.  That's it.

Hmmm.

I wondered what the heck that was.  Then I realized there was something stuck to the top of the box.

I felt my jaw drop as I realized it was a Kindle.  MY Kindle!

That was the last thing I expected and I was a bit overwhelmed.  I mean, it wasn't even the cheapie model!

"Why?" I managed to say with surprise and delight.

"I thought you should be able to read your own ebooks," he said.

Whoa!  The only problem is -- I have not had time to play with it.  And should I read my own stories first?  Should I buy a bunch of old favorites so that I could always have them at hand wherever I go?  Or should I buy some new books--books by my friends?

So there is sits, empty.  So far I think hubby has had more fun with than me.  Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a little intimidated by it, too.  But I'm sure that won't last long. It's a new toy. 

Cool.

So, any suggestions on titles I should acquire?

Dazzled by my Duvet

Way back in 1995, Hubby and I took a trip to England and learned the joys of sleeping under a duvet.  My mother had been telling me for years I would like it, but being an obstinate daughter, I didn't listen.

Whoa!  I'm not too proud to say I was wrong.

I was WRONG.  She was right. I loved it.  No more heavy blankets. Just one light and fluffy down comforter to keep you toasty warm on the coldest winter night, and not overly hot on a summer's eve.

I've got two of them and alternate them on the bed.  I must say that the old one, which is pretty lightweight, is still the better of the two comforters.  But they both have the same problem:  the feathers get jammed in the baffles on one area of the bed.  The middle.

Why is it that a couple buys a king-sized bed because they want to sleep in comfort and then allow their pets to sleep with them.  It wasn't my idea.  For the first half of our marriage we were happily pet free at night.  But then we got George the tiny terrorist, who beat up all the older bigger cats and the next thing you know, the cat he beat up the most was in bed with us, because that's the only way he was safe.

Sadly, George was my one cat failure.  No matter what we tried, he would NOT fit in.  So we found him a forever home with a wonderful lady and her resident cat, who George has not attacked in the six years they've lived together.  Go figure!

But now that Chester was ensconced, we left the door open at night should he hear the call of nature.  And now we have THREE cats sleeping with us.  Here we two humans are forced to cling to the edges of the bed while three cats sprawl out wherever they please.  And since all the feathers in the duvet seem to end up in the middle, that's where they are most comfortable.

So, come winter, I tend to bring a big beach towel to bed with me, because at least 1/4 of me is not going to have any of that warm and (somewhat) fluffy
duvet and what I do have does not have any feathers and I feel like a Popsicle.

No yogi gave me a mantra, but I have one anyway:  I love my cats.  I love my cats.  I love my cats . . .

Goody Bags For All!

Anybody live in southern New Hampshire or northern Massachusetts?  If so, I hope you'll find your way to the Wadleigh Memorial Library in lovely Milford, NH.  I'll be speaking there tomorrow and signing books, courtesy of the Toadstool Bookstore.

Several years ago, a librarian acquaintance of mine suggested I contact the library's director to get some local color for my Booktown Mystery series.  After exchanging a few emails, Michele Sampson invited me to give a talk at the Wadleigh Library.  Since I had planned to go to Maine to meet the people who published my Jeff Resnick series, I readily agreed. 

I had a wonderful time, and was thoroughly shocked when about 35 people showed up to buy and have me sign copies of Murder is Binding.  Whoa!

With that in mind, this time I thought I'd bring along some Goody Bags.  So, with contributions from about 25 of my friends, I spent four hours the other day making them.  Aren't they cute?  I'll be giving them away tomorrow at the library.

Afterward (or maybe before), I'll be taking lots of pictures--more local color!

Anyway, I hope you can make it!

=========================

The Wadleigh Memorial Library
49 Nashua Street
Milford, NH  03055
11 a.m.

Planned Obsolesence?

Another Pet Peeve Thursday

The last two days have not been kind to Casa De Barrett.

Last week I told you how my laptop is giving me commercials to buy a new version of itself.  Well, this week my husband's iMac up and died.  The thing is barely three years old, and two days ago it started coughing up blood.  He took it into the Mac store this morning and -- yes, it's dead, Jim.  Oh, they could fix it.  And fix it.  And fix it.  Because they really don't know what's wrong with it. It might be this or it might be that, and each this or that costs at least $200.  Hubby figures it's better to cut our losses and toss the thing and get the next best Mac. (I have to add this is the is briefest Mac-lifespan either of us have had with a Mac product.  We are NOT pleased.)

Then last night, we thought we'd sit down and watch an hour of The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, which we just got.  (Love that show!)  Hello!  The DVD was working fine on Monday night.  We watched the last three episodes of A Fine Romance (with Judi Dench and the wonderful Michael Williams), although I will admit I was suspicious when I turned the machine off and the little digital screen actually said OFF, which it had never done before. 

When I went to turn it on last night I thought maybe the remote's batteries were dead.  So I changed them with the remote for the old VHS/DVD machine (the DVD player died in that machine, too--and honest, we aren't all that hard on our DVD players).

I am very annoyed.  I hate that these things died without warning.  And I hate that I have to now replace the machine that replaced the last machine.  (Maybe I should go back to watching VHS tapes--that thing will probably go on forever.)

Which one of your machines has recently snuffed it?

I've got a target painted on my thumb

About six years ago, I made the mistake of trying to break up a cat fight.  Yup, put my hands between two very angry male cats to separate them and YOW! got bitten on the thumb.  Boy did it hurt.  I rinsed it under the faucet for a good five minutes figuring that would clean it out, and hoped for the best.

Less than twelve hours later, my thumb was starting to turn black.  A co-worker STRONGLY urged me to go to the quack to get some antibiotics.  I did, and they did the trick.  Except for one tiny thing.  I had a numb thumb for about two years.

"Oh, it's just a little nerve damage.  It'll go away in a couple of months," the nurse practitioner said.  But a few months turned into more than twenty four before the very annoying numbness went away.

Fast forward six years and three months.  There's Lorna standing on a ladder, hummingbirds whizzing by her head, angry she's taking up the feeder right before their long trip south, wresting with an ancient pair of pruning shears and hacking at a bunch of small branches on a tree that is desperately trying to live. 

We had this dangerous Siberian elm cut down about six years ago because it would drop big branches with just a breath of wind.  We figured we didn't want to be squashed in the middle of the night so in came Mr. Tree Surgeon.  Well, we had all but about 15 feet of it cut down.  The whole deforestation project (two trees severely pruned, one decimated) split between between three parties was $6,000+.  It was going to cost another $1,000 if we took that last fifteen feet of tree down.  So there it stands next to our cottage to this day.  We keep saying we're going to have a chain saw artist come and so something with it, but that would probably cost as much or more than having it cut and hauled away.  So every summer it tries to live by shooting out as many branches as it can manage, which we hack away every September.

So there I was on Sunday morning, hacking away at the tiny branches (the bigger ones came later) and I pinched my thumb in the shears.  It was a particularly thick branch, but it was too small for the saw, so I clenched the shears in both hands and -- YOW!!! -- got my thumb pinched.  It hurt!  And now there's a blood blister . . . right on the exact same spot where Chester bit me. 

Guess what?  I've got a numb thumb again.

And how did your weekend go?

Do I Need A Ghostbuster?

After living in the here for 17 years, I'm beginning to wonder if my house is haunted.  Or maybe it's just my office.

Sometimes I get up earlier than my husband.  (Okay, I ALWAYS get up earlier than him.)  And I'll be sitting here in the office and it's deadly quiet.  And then the noises start.  Things bumping around.  It'll sound like someone is taking the pool tools (which hang on the side of the house) off and putting them back up again.  Every so often there's a really loud CRACK that seems to come from around the window that overlooks the (postage-sized) back yard.

I've given it a LOT of thought and ... I'm pretty sure that I'm afraid of ghosts.  Can they harm you?  I don't know.  Do they want to communicate?  Maybe--that's why all the noises?  We have a farm behind us--no people--so don't have drapes on that side of the house.  But sometimes I get nervous and wish we did.  When the noises start, will there be a ghostie hovering outside my window or just a plain old burglar?  (Burglars usually don't want to be caught so are QUIET. So who's making all this noise?)

I used to babysit for a couple who had a noisy house.  "Don't worry, the house is just settling," the lady would say every time they left me in charge of their kids.  Well, it sure settled a lot when I was there.  There were all kinds of bumps and noises.  I did not like babysitting for them and was glad when I finally just stopped babysitting altogether.

So where do you think all these noises in my office are coming from?

I wanna be my own smiley face

Gums. Not wine gums or gummy bears (worms, fish, etc.), but mouth gums.

Mine are healing after my surgery three weeks ago.  I'd always heard that your mouth recovers faster than anything on/in your body, but after my last extraction, I didn't believe it.  After a crown failure, I had what was left of a tooth extracted.  Only, the dentist left some silver behind, remnant of an old root canal.  So when the bridge/crown next to it broke, the root had to be extracted and the oral surgeon went after that piece of silver, too.

It didn't hurt half as much (or even a quarter) as I thought it would, and unlike the last time I had a tooth out, this guy put in four stitches.  They nearly drove me nuts, but they came out last week.

Whoa!  Ya know that meteor crater in Arizona?  Well, that's what it felt like in my mouth.  It took FIVE MONTHS to heal for that last extraction.  I figured this would take as long.  And man, everything that went into my mouth seemed to end up in that crater.

But a funny thing happened.  In the week since the stitches came out, the crater has started to fill in.  There's no big void.  It's still kind of sunken, like a ... well ... sink hole, but it really is healing like mad.

Going around looking like a hillbilly is not fun, but I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel.  Maybe I WILL have a complete smile a lot sooner than I expected.

I feel hopeful.

Anything got you feeling hopeful?

Computer Weirdness

Back in December of 2007, I had to use up the money offered by my former employer as a "retraining" benefit.  A lot of my ex-co-workers were going through some local company to buy computers and using the "retraining" money.  It sounded like a scam to me, but I asked my accountant about it and he didn't see a problem.

But there WERE problems.  The first was, I didn't want the computer this company wanted to sell me (a Dell).  So I went to Best Buy and the salesman sold (suckered?) me on buying an Acer.  Hey, I have an Acer monitor and it had treated me well, but the thing never worked well--and the computer courses the "retraining" company offered came with FLOPPY DISCS and I ended up losing hundreds of dollars paying taxes, etc., useless training materials, and a bummer of a computer, so the whole thing was a big debacle.



The Acer had a crappy keyboard (flat--not unlike the keyboard that came with my iMac, which is why I don't use IT more often), but worse than that, the stupid thing had a cursor problem.  I'll be typing along and the next thing I know the cursor is several lines above where it should be, typing along in what I've already written.  This is not a good thing when your job is writing.

Back in May, I saw my friend Leann Sweeney's Sony computer.  I liked the keyboard.  She loves the thing (after having a lemon of a Dell that never worked right from day one), and let me try it out.  Since then, I've been back to Best Buy twice and tested it.  I decided that when the October Royalty Check comes, I'm going to get a Sony of my owny.


Not a week ago, the Acer developed a new problem.  It had never before had a screen saver, but now, suddenly, it did.  And the screen saver is a commercial FOR A NEW ACER COMPUTER.

It knows its time is just about up, and it wants to be replaced by a brother Acer computer.

Uh-uh!  No way no how.  But man, is it creepy to have this commercial playing every time I walk away from the computer.

What weirdness has visited you lately?

I meant to write it down . . .

I'm a listmaker.  I have lists all around me.  Or at least I have Post-It notes here there and everywhere to remind me of things I want to remember.  Why?  Because I'm a scatterbrain.  My Dad used to say my head was filled with Tommyrot.  It's been proven that multi-tasking is a big waste of time and that you get less done when you're trying to do too many things at once.  Well, my brain likes to multitask and then I forget stuff.

The thing I seem to forget about the most is blog topics.  Oooh...I had a beauty all planned for today.  I thought about it while I was cutting up a cold roast chicken yesterday morning--to make chicken salad.  (I LOVE chicken salad.)  But my hands were all greasy, and then I had to wash
them, and get out the Mayo, and I figured I'd write it down as soon as I did that.

Well, I was also listening to a book on tape, so when I finished with the chicken and the mayo, I was so caught up in the story that I forgot to write down the blog topic.

And so today I'm writing about forgetting about what I wanted to write about.

I also leap out of my chair several times a day, charge across the house to do or get something, and then, because I'm thinking about three other things at the same time, get to my destination and wonder what the heck I wanted to do.

Multitasking?  Forgetaboutit.

How about you?

Kindle on my Mind

I always pick the worst times to try new things.  I'm up to my eyeballs in deadlines right now, but I've joined two new groups dedicated to learning about/and promoting e titles on Kindle/Nook, etc.

I find the topic endlessly fascinating, and there are so many aspects of it.  Formatting documents to the various platforms, designing covers (and sometimes over and over again), and the most worrying aspect, how to get the word out about my E books/stories.

I've added a page on the Blogger version of this blog, but people aren't finding it.  (I don't think blog readers are used to looking for additional information pages ON a blog.)  I need to put something up on my Lorna web site as well, but just haven't gotten around to it.  (That'll have to happen when some of the deadlines are past, too.)

I know this is probably as interesting as sawdust to most of you guys, and I apologize.  But . . . I can't help but be interested in the whole new world open to me.  I'm finding new readers every day and that's exciting.

What's piqued your interest lately?

Dog or Book? What keeps me up at night?

As I mentioned yesterday, my little doggy guest was good at waking me up and keeping me awake (by snoring directly under my head--as she was sleeping under my bed).  So, rather than stare at the ceiling, I opened a book and started to read.

Big mistake.  The book was so good, I kept reading.  Got tired.  Turned off light.  Dog woke up and kept me awake.

Dog went back to sleep, I went back to reading. 

It was a vicious cycle.  I woke up at 2:05 and I never got back to sleep.  (Didn't quite finish the book; saved that for last night!)

Whatever happened to those days when you decided with a bunch of friends -- hey, let's stay up all night and watch TV/talk/eat/have fun?  (This was in my 20s.)  Um.  Those days are GONE.  I'm a teensy bit older now and I go to bed EARLY.  I don't necessarily stay asleep all night (and get most of my reading-for-pleasure done between the hours of midnight and 4 a.m.) but I don't usually read for three-plus hours during the night, either.

Sorry, I couldn't put the book down.

The title:  NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEED by E.J. Copperman.

What's so good about this book?  It hits all my high spots.  Home renovation; believable characters; ghosts.  This thing has winner stamped all over it.  I could kick myself now, because I had an opportunity to blurb it before it was published but was just too stressed while being in my own deadline hell.

If you have an opportunity to read Night of the Living Deed, you really ought to.  And if you don't have the opportunity -- why not?

All I Want For My Birthday Is ....?

For quite some time, I have been campaigning to get a dog.  Hubby is of the opinion that four cats (who don't especially get along all that well) are quite enough, Thank You. 

  I'd like a small dog.  Ideally, a Scottie.  But Scotties are kind of hit and miss.  You get one with a really good temperament or you don't.  (My family has had both.)  I want a dog that doesn't smell when wet, but not necessarily a poodle.  In fact, I want a small dog that's incredibly cute who will love me even on bad hair days.  (I have a cat like that, but he doesn't think it's necessary to adore me 24/7.  Cats are like that.)

Ideally, I'd like a Bichon Frise.  They are so damned cute!  My cousin has a poodle/Bichon mix that is a wonderful little dog.  I met a a Bichon Frise at a garage
sale a couple of months ago and practically interrogated the owner, then came back to the car to report on him to my husband, who again reiterated that we have four cats who don't especially get along and reminded me we have a yard the size of a postage stamp.  (Which is actually just about the right size for a Bichon Frise.)

I've spent a LOT of time at the family cottage this summer writing.  On a number of occasions, I've brought my mother along for company.  Mum comes with baggage.  Jessie, the Westie.

Jessie is a perfectly wonderful little dog in many ways.  She's cute.  (Incredibly so, especially when she cocks her head and laps up every word you say.)  She's attentive.  (Especially if you're eating anything.)  And when she's not in her home element, she rarely barks.  (Can't shut her up when I come to visit her home territory.  She nag, Nag, NAGS for a treat and has me trained to give them uppon arrival and departure.)

But there's a dark side to having a dog.  A.) they drink water.  A lot.  Drinking water necessitates outdoor visits.  Outdoor visits necessitates sniff-a-thons.  Sniff-a-thons sometimes uncover smelly things that dogs love (especially to roll in) and people hate (see smelly description earlier in this sentence).

When she's at the cottage, Jessie goes out on a long rope.  Because she's getting on in years, she now goes out the front of the cottage because those stairs aren't as steep as those out the back.  Two times this week I let her out and went back to the laptop to work.  Two times she came in smelling like something died.

After the first time, we inspected our shoes and the back of Jessie for . . . loose objects that we won't talk about.  Nope.  Nothing.  After the second time, I went out to investigate.

Our neighbors love to fish.  The 16-year-old son of our neighbors has been coming and going, taking his boat out (honest, despite having a hoist in the water not 20 feet from the cottage, he doesn't want his boat to get scratched, so he goes down the road to the boat launch and puts the boat in (at $5 a pop) and thing takes it out (for another $5).  The boat is 3 years old and looks like it came out of the showroom yesterday.  (He's also keeping car wax companies in shape.)

Zack must've cleaned a few of his catch in the front yard.  Jessie must have found it.  Jessie brought it over into our yard.  Jessie rolled in it (twice).

See Lorna discover stinky fish skin and guts.  See Lorna remove (with shovel) stinky fish skin and guts.

Advice from brother:  give Jessie a bath.

Reply from sister:  we have no tub, just a shower, remember.

Advice from brother:  put her in the kitchen sink.

Reply from sister:  Are you out of your mind?

Instead, Jessie gets rubbed down with wet paper towels which are then put in garbage bags and sealed.

Report to husband:  dogs who roll in dead fish are not fun to have around.

Husband:  No reply.  (But thought balloon over his head screams in bold red type:  I COULD'A TOLD YOU SO!!!)

BTW, Jessie also likes to sleep UNDER MY BED, snore, get up in the middle of the night, scratch her back for ten or so minutes against the box springs, shake her tags, and at 4:20 a.m. tell me "It's time for me to go out!" (see comment above about drinking water).


So, Lorna will now refrain from requesting dog for upcoming birthday.  (At least until the memories of stinky dead fish and sleepless nights are distant ones.)

What do you want for your birthday?

Raking in the dough?

I've spent far too much of the last day looking for ways to promote my e books. 

All we keep hearing is that ebooks are exploding, and instead of people reading less, because of Kindle/Nook, etc., people are reading more.  The hard part is getting people to find one's books.

In a bookstore, you can peruse the shelves.  Like that cover?  Intrigued by that back cover blurb?  Buy the book.  But how do readers find books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.com?

That's got my knickers in a twist.

You might be asking yourself "Why does she care?  Isn't she raking in the dough from her New York Times Bestselling Booktown Mystery series?"

How do I know?  I only get paid twice a year.  That's six months between checks.  But somehow the dentist has to be paid RIGHT NOW.  (It used to be you could pay on time...not any more!)  Oops--the brakes went bad on my car.  I can stall for a month until the VISA bill comes in.  Holy smoke!  The quarterly health care bill is due on September 1st!  (Ain't no employer contributing to that bill for Hubby and me -- and it's a killer.)

Authors need a steady cash flow just like the rest of society. But, we aren't paid on a weekly, biweekly or even monthly basis.  Amazon does pay on a monthly basis -- albeit 60 days after the end of the month the sales occurred.

I, and many other authors, need to find steady cash flow just so we can live and write.

So, any ideas on how to promote my e book backlist?  (And in case you're wondering what my backlist, you can find it here.)

Listening To The Voice In My Head

I'm about to finish the second Victoria Square mystery, The Walled Flower, and I'm dragging my feet.  Why?

I don't want to let go of Katie and her friends.

I know it's only for six months, because that's when I'll start the next book in the series (which so far has no title), but I'm having fun and I don't want it to end.

Katie is up to so much trouble and strife in this book and I can't even talk about with you guys because A.) you don't know her yet (the first book, A Crafty Killing doesn't come out until Feb. 1, 2011) and B.) I'd be giving away spoilers and then you WOULDN'T want to read the book.  A real Catch 22.

Of course, Tricia and Angelica are waiting in the wings and they've been nagging me.  "Hey, we're still here--you've got OUR story to tell!"

Then there's Jeff and Richard WAY back in the back alley behind the theater yelling, "Hey, we've been waiting FOR YEARS to see Bound By Suggestion find an audience!!!" (Of course, I'm still waiting for their third adventure, Cheated by Death to find an audience via ebooks.)

And then--can you believe it--I've got a NEW character on the back burner who wants me to tell HER story, too.  When would I ever find time for her?  (Hmm...I should start taking notes....)

All these characters screaming for me to tell their stories.

(Kinda cool, huh?)

Something very special in the mail

Every day the news is filled with terrible stories of murder, wars, and violence, so sometimes we (and me in particular) get jaded.  And it isn't hard to do when your job involves writing about two of those three subjects.  (Although in my books, justice will ALWAYS triumph--something that rarely happens in real life.)

Therefore, we sometimes forget that that there are many good and kind people out there, going about their lives and doing the best they can, and being thoughtful and helpful.

Last week, I was the recipient of an act of kindness.

My friend Dru-Ann Love, who is also a great friend to cozy authors, not just because she writes thoughtful reviews on our books, sent me a special gift.  Dru quilts.  Oh, I know about quilts.  My mother is a quilter and I know about the hours of work, and care and love, that go into any quilted creation.  So I was especially touched by the little quilt Dru sent to me.

Many quilters make memory quilts.  They take photographs or signatures and have them transferred to material for their projects.  Dru took the two New York Times reports for Bookplate Special and Chapter & Hearse and had them transferred to fabric.

When I opened the envelope, I burst into tears.  (Sorry, but I did.)  It was such a special, unique and thoughtful gift.  That Dru took all that time to put it together for me made it even more extraordinary.  And like nearly all quilters, Dru signed and dated the quilt. 

Thank you, Dru.  You made my day!

Lordess of the Flies?

I am a germaphobe.  There, I admitted it. I ought to buy stock in the Purel company because it's one product I use on a daily basis.  (More than once a day.  More than three-four times a day.  And I wash my hands a LOT -- but not compulsively.)

So you can imagine my horror when suddenly there seem to be a LOT of flies inside our house.  Where the heck are they coming from?  Okay, the garage was open for hours and once a fly flies in, it seems to get stuck at the window near the door leading from the garage to the laundry room, and often they come in after us.  But we've been going through the front door to try to avoid letting the flies come in after us.

Monday I killed two flies.  Tuesday hubby killed three flies.  Last night I killed TWELVE flies!!!  (Don't get in my way when I'm holding onto my fly swat!)

Any fly that comes into this house is DOOMED.

What's bugging YOU today?

Pay dirt at a yard sale

A couple of weeks ago, I hit pay dirt at a yard sale.  An entire paper box of old Taste of Home magazines and Country Woman magazines for $5.  (We're talking less than 5 cents each.)

I first found Taste of Home on a magazine rack in Lewiston, NY.  I was on my way to England via Toronto and wanted something to read on the plane.  Wee, this was fun!  A magazine with no advertising that was all about food. It had lots of cornball--but fun--sidebars, like "My Most Embarrassing Moment In The Kitchen," stuff kids got wrong (like saying a teacher's name was Miss Salad Bar instead of Miss Salazar), ridiculous menus that could "feed your family for $1.35 a plate" (yeah, if you had most of the spices in stock and had a family of 6-8).

Every issue was good for at least an hour or two of pure reading pleasure.  And the recipes were easy, with only a few ingredients.  (And they always featured a page or two of cooking for one or two, which is great if that's the size of your family.)

We ended up subscribing to a bunch of these Reiman Magazines.  And on a business trip, we even stopped and checked out the home base in Greendale, Wisconsin.

And then, as always happens when something is successful and bucks the trends, they got offered a big pile of money and got bought out.  In this case, to Readers Digest.  It wasn't long before Taste of Home went right down the toilet--IMNSHO.

All the cute, fun, cornball stuff was gone.  Gone were My Mom's Best Meal, and the like.  Everything that made the magazine(s) charming and unique was gone.  They decided to aim at a bigger demographic than just farm wives.  (Hey, I wasn't a farm wife, and I enjoyed it.) It became just another slick magazine and I stopped renewing.  That's why I buy up every old issue of the magazine I can find at yard sales.  Okay,  I now own three copies of some issues, but when you buy them for pennies a copy, what's the difference?

This whole situation reminds me of how Coca-Cola miscalculated when they decided to dump their successful Coke for New Coke.  Consumers let them know in a hurry what a big mistake that was.  Only so far it seems like Readers Digest won this round.  They may have found new readers, but I'll bet they lost a heck of a lot of their reader base, too.

What have you enjoyed that was ruined by improvements?