During the last couple of weeks, I have received an inordinate amount of emails telling me that I've won contests; that a long-lost relative with millions of dollars (in Africa--if that isn't an oxymoron, what is?) has died and left it to me! That I have won the British Lottery! That a dear friend was held-up at knife point in London and now has no money for a ticket to get home. That I can get all the drugs I want for pennies (most especially those that grow the male member).
Hold everything!
If I didn't go into my spam folder at least five times a day, my computer would explode and there'd be emails stuck to the walls, the ceiling and the floor.
Apparently there are no end to the scammers out there. (And the pirates stealing my books. I'm sure my editor gets bombarded with emails from all his authors just about every day telling him of the newest rip offs. We learn about these illegal copies via Google alerts.)
There have always been nasty, evil people out there, but the Internet lets them steal and scam with relative anonymity. And how many people fall for this crap?
I guess I have no point other than: STOP IT, PEOPLE.
And worst of all, real emails that I WANT to read get trapped in the Spam Folder. My Williards from Susan Branch. Emails telling me I have comments from this very blog. Fan mail. Emails from my bank. And on and on and on. (Now you know why I check my Spam Folder so often.) When people sign up for my newsletter, the confirmation note to them ends up in THEIR Spam Filters and without opening it, they won't get my newsletters. (Next one slated for September.)
How tired are you of the spammers?
.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The weeds and me
When I bought my first house (a converted chicken coop), one of the first things my Dad and I did was plant a garden. It was a magnificent garden with tomatoes, peppers, broccoli. It was the only garden I ever had that was cleared of grass and then we laid down a big sheet of black plastic. I never had to weed it and I had fresh veggies for quite a while.
Fast forward. I'm on my third house now, and I still have a veggie garden, but now I have weeds. A LOT of weeds. But weeding can be very therapeutic. Lately when things get overwhelming, I go out there and yank 100 weeds. (I told you there were a LOT of them.) When I'm done, I'll have a nice clear little patch (which I know will be filled in again by next week).
When I get stuck writing, when I can't come up with one more thing to write, I'll go out and pull a few weeds. Sometimes I talk over my writing problems with my tomatoes and beans. They've not very helpful when it comes to story ideas, but they listen quietly and don't judge.
What do you think about when you're weeding?
.
Fast forward. I'm on my third house now, and I still have a veggie garden, but now I have weeds. A LOT of weeds. But weeding can be very therapeutic. Lately when things get overwhelming, I go out there and yank 100 weeds. (I told you there were a LOT of them.) When I'm done, I'll have a nice clear little patch (which I know will be filled in again by next week).
When I get stuck writing, when I can't come up with one more thing to write, I'll go out and pull a few weeds. Sometimes I talk over my writing problems with my tomatoes and beans. They've not very helpful when it comes to story ideas, but they listen quietly and don't judge.
What do you think about when you're weeding?
.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Escape (not the Pina Colada song)
Is this summer EVER going to end?
I never thought I'd say that about summer. I love summer. But this relentless heat . . . the mother-in-law crisis which seems to get better only to escalate again. The book deadline that gets nearer and nearer . . .
Ya know what? I wanna run away from home.
I wanna pack a suitcase, jump on a train and go somewhere. Maybe the Canadian Rockies. (I don't think I can go there directly from my city, but this is fantasy anyway, right?)
I want to eat gourmet meals in a fancy dining car while the tracks below me go clickity-clack. I want to see inspiring vistas and pink and purple sunsets.
And I want to laze back in a seat and READ for PLEASURE for hours and hours on end.
Anybody want to join me?
I never thought I'd say that about summer. I love summer. But this relentless heat . . . the mother-in-law crisis which seems to get better only to escalate again. The book deadline that gets nearer and nearer . . .
Ya know what? I wanna run away from home.I wanna pack a suitcase, jump on a train and go somewhere. Maybe the Canadian Rockies. (I don't think I can go there directly from my city, but this is fantasy anyway, right?)
I want to eat gourmet meals in a fancy dining car while the tracks below me go clickity-clack. I want to see inspiring vistas and pink and purple sunsets.
And I want to laze back in a seat and READ for PLEASURE for hours and hours on end.
Anybody want to join me?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Ideas, ideas--send me your ideas!
Did anybody miss my blog posts this week? Yeah, I know -- I missed Monday-Wednesday, and luckily my pal Kelly McClymer jumped in yesterday for Pet Peeve Thursday. (Thanks, Kelly!)
Once upon a time Harry Nilsson sang a song called, "Here's Why I Did Not Go To Work Today." Well, here's why I have been a bit haphazard with my blog posts of late.
It's the Summer Of Hell Part II.
Two years ago my Dad was sick and dying and that was the Summer of Hell Part I. This year it's my mother in law who's having a rough time.
In early April, we decided it wasn't safe for her to live alone anymore.
But uprooting one 96 year-old-lady from a city 90 miles away and moving her here to assisted living was a lot more complicated than we ever could have imagined. Even though her doctor (after MANY visits) finally signed off, she had heath problems we never suspected. The poor woman has spent most of her six weeks in our fair city in the local hospital. She's now been transferred to transitional care and we hope she's back in her assisted living place (where she only has spent 2 out of the past 6 weeks) by next week.
FINGERS CROSSED.
But getting her here was a LOT more work than just driving her from one city to another. She had an entire apartment that needed to be addressed. (Guess who got to do most of the heavy lifting and packing?) We took three (or was it four?) trips across the western part of the state to clean out the apartment. (And we've got one more to do before the end of the month . . . and you did notice that today is the 29th, didn't you?)
Mr. L has been on the phone for the past six weeks trying to put all The Mother's financial affairs in order. The missing title for her car (and yes, she was still driving in May) has been a real adventure. (We won't go there.)
Meanwhile, Mr. L's sister (who lives 1500 miles away) has come to visit three times. That means extra cleaning, laundry, food prep, and socializing (that's the fun part--and believe me, it was the ONLY fun part of this entire ordeal). Plus the fact I've been painting walls for the past four weekends in high heat and humidity.
Bottom line:
I'm burned out.
BURNED OUT.
BURNT TO A CRISP.
Remember those writing projects I told you I was juggling? I'm not juggling any more. Just working on one project and I'm far, far behind. I'll probably have to ask for a deadline extension (fair warning, Tom), but the other day I solved a BIG problem that was snagging me (wonder why?) and things seem to be rolling along a lot smoother now. But the blog has suffered.
I don't want to give up the blog. It's fun . . . at least when I have ideas, and I've temporarily run out of them. So I'm asking you . . . what would you like me to talk about in the blog for the next month (or two or three ... always need new ideas).
Come on, don't be shy. I'd LOVE to hear from you.
.
Once upon a time Harry Nilsson sang a song called, "Here's Why I Did Not Go To Work Today." Well, here's why I have been a bit haphazard with my blog posts of late.
It's the Summer Of Hell Part II.
Two years ago my Dad was sick and dying and that was the Summer of Hell Part I. This year it's my mother in law who's having a rough time.
In early April, we decided it wasn't safe for her to live alone anymore.
But uprooting one 96 year-old-lady from a city 90 miles away and moving her here to assisted living was a lot more complicated than we ever could have imagined. Even though her doctor (after MANY visits) finally signed off, she had heath problems we never suspected. The poor woman has spent most of her six weeks in our fair city in the local hospital. She's now been transferred to transitional care and we hope she's back in her assisted living place (where she only has spent 2 out of the past 6 weeks) by next week.
FINGERS CROSSED.
But getting her here was a LOT more work than just driving her from one city to another. She had an entire apartment that needed to be addressed. (Guess who got to do most of the heavy lifting and packing?) We took three (or was it four?) trips across the western part of the state to clean out the apartment. (And we've got one more to do before the end of the month . . . and you did notice that today is the 29th, didn't you?)
Mr. L has been on the phone for the past six weeks trying to put all The Mother's financial affairs in order. The missing title for her car (and yes, she was still driving in May) has been a real adventure. (We won't go there.)
Meanwhile, Mr. L's sister (who lives 1500 miles away) has come to visit three times. That means extra cleaning, laundry, food prep, and socializing (that's the fun part--and believe me, it was the ONLY fun part of this entire ordeal). Plus the fact I've been painting walls for the past four weekends in high heat and humidity.
Bottom line:
I'm burned out.
BURNED OUT.
BURNT TO A CRISP.
Remember those writing projects I told you I was juggling? I'm not juggling any more. Just working on one project and I'm far, far behind. I'll probably have to ask for a deadline extension (fair warning, Tom), but the other day I solved a BIG problem that was snagging me (wonder why?) and things seem to be rolling along a lot smoother now. But the blog has suffered.
I don't want to give up the blog. It's fun . . . at least when I have ideas, and I've temporarily run out of them. So I'm asking you . . . what would you like me to talk about in the blog for the next month (or two or three ... always need new ideas).
Come on, don't be shy. I'd LOVE to hear from you.
.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Can you get cabin fever in the summer?
I'm not talking about the winter snowstorms we get just about every week here in Western New York, I'm talking the temps in the high 90s.
We're trapped inside because of winter for MONTHS AND MONTHS on end. So when the good weather comes, I want to be out enjoying it, not trapped inside my air conditioned house.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE not baking to death. (I lived without air conditioning for most of my life.) But after waiting six months to sit in my screened-in porch, I hate having to be inside, looking out at the flowers and the in-ground pool (which we don't use because the water is too COLD).
This year we've spent more time inside than out on our porch. And I'm suffering from cabin fever.
Our warm weather doesn't last long enough -- but this heat wave has overstayed its welcome.
How's the weather where you are?
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Who's that skinny chick in white?
That was my wedding party -- yup, the whole thing -- 20 years ago today. (I'm the one second from the right.)
It was the HOTTEST day of the year (which is why the best man and my Dad were holding gin and tonics)--102 degrees. (They've prediced 101 for tomorrow.)
It was a good day. A very good day.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Long Wait For Waffles
Back in late May, my friend Janet sent me a bottle of her homemade maple syrup. She and her husband tap the trees on their property in Michigan. They get about 30 gallons of the stuff, which she says boils down to a gallon or two of maple syrup. It takes HOURS and HOURS to boil the stuff down. They share this bounty with friends and relatives. I feel really HONORED to be among them.
So, there we were at our cottage in early June, with plans to break open (although not literally) the bottle and have a terrific breakfast of waffles and bacon. We'd planned that for Sunday morning.
Saturday morning Mr. L said, "I have a stomachache." I didn't think much of it because as someone with frequent (although not so much anymore) heartburn, I always had a stomachache. But if I had been really listening alarm bells should have gone off. Mr. L is NEVER sick. He NEVER has a stomachache. He hasn't puked in over 40 years. (I sure wish I could say that.)
And so . . . later in the day Mr. L decided that his stomachache was getting worse--as in 'Take me to the ER" worse. Except that he really didn't make a fuss. By the time he got seen, the resident on duty said, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain." Mr. L quite calmly said, "Ten."
Whoa! When Mr. L had his knee replacement surgery, I don't think he said the pain was every worse than a five.
When they finally released him from the hospital two days later (yeah, he hand an infected gall bladder), they gave Mr. L a list of foods NOT to eat. And what was on there? Waffles. (He could have just mainlined the syrup--there's no fat in it, after all.)
So, seven weeks (and 24 pounds) later, Mr. L finally got his waffles on Sunday.
Yummy! (Still waiting for that bacon. Maybe next week.)
.
So, there we were at our cottage in early June, with plans to break open (although not literally) the bottle and have a terrific breakfast of waffles and bacon. We'd planned that for Sunday morning.
Saturday morning Mr. L said, "I have a stomachache." I didn't think much of it because as someone with frequent (although not so much anymore) heartburn, I always had a stomachache. But if I had been really listening alarm bells should have gone off. Mr. L is NEVER sick. He NEVER has a stomachache. He hasn't puked in over 40 years. (I sure wish I could say that.)
And so . . . later in the day Mr. L decided that his stomachache was getting worse--as in 'Take me to the ER" worse. Except that he really didn't make a fuss. By the time he got seen, the resident on duty said, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain." Mr. L quite calmly said, "Ten."
Whoa! When Mr. L had his knee replacement surgery, I don't think he said the pain was every worse than a five.
When they finally released him from the hospital two days later (yeah, he hand an infected gall bladder), they gave Mr. L a list of foods NOT to eat. And what was on there? Waffles. (He could have just mainlined the syrup--there's no fat in it, after all.)
So, seven weeks (and 24 pounds) later, Mr. L finally got his waffles on Sunday.
Yummy! (Still waiting for that bacon. Maybe next week.)
.
Monday, July 18, 2011
What's wrong with this lovely picture?
What's wrong with this picture?A lovely cat family. Mama, two orange kids, a part siamese (the white one), and a little black kitty who was spooked and ran under the deck when we came out on our porch on Saturday morning.
Yes, what's wrong with this lovely little family group.
They're feral.
Why are they feral?
Because our neighbors think it's swell to have cats. AND NEVER NEUTER THEM. Consequently, there are constantly new litters of kittens being born. The neighbors toss a bowl of dry food out on their deck, but that's as far as they go when it comes to cat maintenance. The cats are outdoor cats. And there are more than THIRTY of them running around the neighborhood.
According to the Humane Society there's no law that says this is cruel, but forcing cats to live outdoors in Western New York in winter is inhumane in my book. Forcing them to bear unwanted litters of kittens is inhumane in my book. Making them hunt for their food in an area filled with preditors is inhumane in my book.
Hmm...might need to write about book just about this.
.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Go Away Mr. Groundhog!!!
Every year I (attempt to) grow beans. I've learned in the past that once they start to climb, they're usually safe from critters.
Not this year!
I put down dried blood and that usually does the trick.
Well, I ran out and something ate all but two of my potato plants. While waiting for another shipment to arrive (purchased via the Internet), something attacked my beans. It just chopped them about six inches from the ground, but they're all withering and dead up above.
Grrrrr!
Now, I'm an animal lover, but not when it comes to wild critters eating my garden.
The dried blood arrived yesterday, and I gave the ground around the potatoes a good treatment, but not the beans. Since the critter was discouraged in the potato patch s/he went straight for the beans. You can bet I spread a liberal supply of dried blood around today -- but it's a day too late.
Will we get beans this year?
I sure hope so, but I'm not confident.
What are the critters eating in your garden?
(P.S. Today my character Katie Bonner is blogging over at the Killer Characters site--talking about her dreams for the English Ivy Inn. Come on over and see what she's got to say.)
Not this year!
I put down dried blood and that usually does the trick.
Well, I ran out and something ate all but two of my potato plants. While waiting for another shipment to arrive (purchased via the Internet), something attacked my beans. It just chopped them about six inches from the ground, but they're all withering and dead up above.
Grrrrr!
Now, I'm an animal lover, but not when it comes to wild critters eating my garden.
The dried blood arrived yesterday, and I gave the ground around the potatoes a good treatment, but not the beans. Since the critter was discouraged in the potato patch s/he went straight for the beans. You can bet I spread a liberal supply of dried blood around today -- but it's a day too late.
Will we get beans this year?
I sure hope so, but I'm not confident.
What are the critters eating in your garden?
(P.S. Today my character Katie Bonner is blogging over at the Killer Characters site--talking about her dreams for the English Ivy Inn. Come on over and see what she's got to say.)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Avoiding the Domino Effect
What does that give me?
A great big MESS.
So yesterday I decided it was time to figure out where everything went. That was three hours printing out scenes that had never been printed before, studying the timeline, rearranging the timeline, rearranging the pages, and putting them into chapters in my big 3-ring notebook.
My books almost always have 25 chapters. Doesn't matter what series I'm writing, I write 25-chapter books. Right now (since it's only half finished) Victoria Square #3 (I've given up trying to title it. I'll leave that to the Berkley marketing department) has 18 chapters. You got it--I've got to come with with 7 more. (And one of the ones already accounted for only has two paragraphs in it.)
Today I have to take the electronic manuscript and actually put the pages in the right order. Oy! Not looking forward to that. Can you say CONFUSED? I figure that will take 2-3 hours. I'm hoping I still have enough brainpower left to actually write something, because while I was playing with the timeline, a lot of problems got solved. I don't work from a detailed synopsis--it's the timeline that keeps me on track while I'm writing the book. (I'm up to 5 single-spaced pages right now.)
So I hope to be on track and writing my heart out for the next 6-7 weeks because that's when I've got to turn the book in. I might be late. Heck, the book will sit on in my editor's hard drive for AT LEAST two months before he even looks at it, so I'm not going to be upset if I miss the deadline--and I suspect he won't either. He's up to his eyeballs in other authors' manuscripts. The problem with being late is ... I'll start the next book late, and it becomes a domino effect, and nobody wants that, either.
So ... today or tomorrow ... back on track. (I hope.)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
It's ALWAYS time to wake up
Sometime last summer my digital clock lost some of its light bars so that the 9 became a 5. This was disconcerting. Happily, Mr. L bought me a brand new Sony alarm clock for Christmas.
Joy to the world.
Well, not exactly.
You see, when I plugged the clock in--SURPRISE! It already knew the time. That was great ... except it's not correct. Mr. L always sets our clocks using Naval Observatory Time, and according to NOT this Sony clock is TWO MINUTES FAST and you can't change it!
Okay, what's two minutes? Well, when you say to yourself, "It's Saturday. I will NOT get up until at least 7 a.m." --that clock is two minutes fast!
And another thing, my old clock had red digits. This one has green ones. And they're BIG. And they LIGHT UP THE WHOLE ROOM.
Never look a gift clock in the mouth, eh?
Do you have some appliance that's annoying you but is a necessary part of life?
.
Joy to the world.
Well, not exactly.
You see, when I plugged the clock in--SURPRISE! It already knew the time. That was great ... except it's not correct. Mr. L always sets our clocks using Naval Observatory Time, and according to NOT this Sony clock is TWO MINUTES FAST and you can't change it!
Okay, what's two minutes? Well, when you say to yourself, "It's Saturday. I will NOT get up until at least 7 a.m." --that clock is two minutes fast!
And another thing, my old clock had red digits. This one has green ones. And they're BIG. And they LIGHT UP THE WHOLE ROOM.
Never look a gift clock in the mouth, eh?
Do you have some appliance that's annoying you but is a necessary part of life?
.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
And I got on the scale this morning . . .
After Christmas, I decided to lose weight. I was tired of being fat and I saw how my Dad suffered because he was overweight. I decided to be different.
In years past, I've usually taken the "easy" way out. I went on Nutra-System. Well, the food is just as bad, but these days they don't let you choose what you want to eat--at least not at first. They make you eat a LOT of pasta and . . . I'm not a big pasta fan. So why would I want to spend nearly $300 eating stuff that makes me want to hurl?
If I religiously followed Weight Watchers, I would lose weight a lot faster. But I dohwanna. Actually, I'm kinda sorta following Weight Watchers because I truly believe it's the only sensible diet there is. You eat what you want. Just not in quantities you want. And I have cut down--but not cut everything out. (Heck, I had an Abbott's Custard on Friday--but instead of the regular sized one, I had a kiddie cone. Guess what? It was just as satisfying as the big one.)
It's been five months now and I've lost 18 pounds. Yea!
Except for my jeans being a bit baggier, I don't feel like I've lost ANY weight. I asked Mr. L this morning, "Do I look thinner to you?" and he said, "How can I tell? I see you every day?"
I think I'll always see myself as FAT, even if I lose another 50 pounds. I'm like those girls who are anorexic and see themselves as fat . . . only I really AM fat. I just see myself as fatter than I am.
We'll see a large woman in the grocery store and I'll say to Mr. L "Am I as fat as her?" and he always says "No." But is he lying or do I just see myself as big as these other women?
I really don't have a goal in mind when it comes to weight loss. More a pants size. I have brand new jeans in the closet and it would be nice if I could fit into them. Sadly, at 18 pounds less I still can't get into them. But they're my current goal. Once I can get into them, maybe I'll buy another pair of jeans a size smaller. All I know is I don't want to end up a statistic: diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic illnesses, and then dead.
I'm working toward that goal one pound at a time.
In years past, I've usually taken the "easy" way out. I went on Nutra-System. Well, the food is just as bad, but these days they don't let you choose what you want to eat--at least not at first. They make you eat a LOT of pasta and . . . I'm not a big pasta fan. So why would I want to spend nearly $300 eating stuff that makes me want to hurl?
If I religiously followed Weight Watchers, I would lose weight a lot faster. But I dohwanna. Actually, I'm kinda sorta following Weight Watchers because I truly believe it's the only sensible diet there is. You eat what you want. Just not in quantities you want. And I have cut down--but not cut everything out. (Heck, I had an Abbott's Custard on Friday--but instead of the regular sized one, I had a kiddie cone. Guess what? It was just as satisfying as the big one.)
It's been five months now and I've lost 18 pounds. Yea!
Except for my jeans being a bit baggier, I don't feel like I've lost ANY weight. I asked Mr. L this morning, "Do I look thinner to you?" and he said, "How can I tell? I see you every day?"
I think I'll always see myself as FAT, even if I lose another 50 pounds. I'm like those girls who are anorexic and see themselves as fat . . . only I really AM fat. I just see myself as fatter than I am.
We'll see a large woman in the grocery store and I'll say to Mr. L "Am I as fat as her?" and he always says "No." But is he lying or do I just see myself as big as these other women?
I really don't have a goal in mind when it comes to weight loss. More a pants size. I have brand new jeans in the closet and it would be nice if I could fit into them. Sadly, at 18 pounds less I still can't get into them. But they're my current goal. Once I can get into them, maybe I'll buy another pair of jeans a size smaller. All I know is I don't want to end up a statistic: diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic illnesses, and then dead.
I'm working toward that goal one pound at a time.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Looking forward to the weekend?
It used to be that when a holiday rolled around, you could count on a couple of things. Celebrating it with family and lots of great food.
These days, what's left of the family is scattered. Mr. L is looking at gall bladder surgery in a few weeks, so there won't be any potato salad, deviled eggs, hot dogs or hamburgers.
I miss the old days when the whole family would get together. I sure miss my Dad. Two years ago was his last 4th of July celebration. By then he could barely walk. Two days later he was in the hospital and never came home again. Maybe that's why the 4th of July holiday is something I no longer look forward to.
This 4th of July holiday is going to be a working weekend for me. I'll be painting my office (FINALLY) and working on my writing projects.
I sure hope you're going to be with family, having fun, and eating potato salad.
If not, what are your plans for the weekend?
These days, what's left of the family is scattered. Mr. L is looking at gall bladder surgery in a few weeks, so there won't be any potato salad, deviled eggs, hot dogs or hamburgers.
I miss the old days when the whole family would get together. I sure miss my Dad. Two years ago was his last 4th of July celebration. By then he could barely walk. Two days later he was in the hospital and never came home again. Maybe that's why the 4th of July holiday is something I no longer look forward to.
This 4th of July holiday is going to be a working weekend for me. I'll be painting my office (FINALLY) and working on my writing projects.
I sure hope you're going to be with family, having fun, and eating potato salad.
If not, what are your plans for the weekend?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Putting the FUN back into dysfunctional
Years ago, when I was an unhappy, unpublished writer there was one thing I truly enjoyed doing: writing.
I kept gathering rejection slips by the hundreds, but I knew I had it in me to be published and I kept trying (and crying). I'm nothing if not stubborn.
The great thing about being unpublished was that I could experiment. When my Jeff Resnick series was gathering dust on the shelves I decided to try writing cozy mysteries. While they were gathering dust on the shelves, I decided to try short stories. They sold! (I've still got a copy of the first check hanging on the wall over my computer. $20 for a short story I called Valentine's Day. It's now called Are You Lonely Tonight and it's available on Kindle, Nook, etc.) I tried my hand at women's fiction (not very successful -- 14 chapters in, I decided to abandon it. Why? It kept trying to be a cozy mystery). But the thing was, all this experimentation was FUN.
Then I sold. Yea! Bells rang, champagne corks popped, and confetti fell. And suddenly I had deadlines. And even worse, I had to spend a LOT of time promoting the books. Promotion seemed to consume my entire life. And it never stopped, because I was building a brand. Well, three brands: Lorna Barrett, L.L. Bartlett and Lorraine Bartlett. Let me tell you, it became absolutely EXHAUSTING.
Now that Sentenced to Death is out, I've got an entire seven months without promotion. What an opportunity. I suddenly have time on my hands to do something else. And what I've chosen to do is WRITE. I'm currently juggling four writing projects (with two more on the back burner). I've got ideas for two more cozy mystery series (should I ever have time to write them). Without the constant pressure of promotion hanging over my head for a period of time, I've got time to sit down and get back to something I love to do. Write for myself not just a deadline.
AND I LOVE IT.
I feel like a juggler. Here's one day's schedule: Get up read/answer email. Fix breakfast for husband and hungry cats. Work on short story until 10 a.m. At 10, I switch over to the laptop and work on the special project until noon. Eat lunch. At 12:30 I switch over to the 3rd Victoria square Mystery. Yesterday I exceeded all my expectations by making my 1250 word "minimum" requirement on two of the three projects. (And I did 1121 words on the other.)
I can't keep that pace up. For one thing, real life rears its ugly head. I have errands to do today, and tomorrow Mr. L needs my help on an all-day project. It's a holiday weekend and I intend to paint my office during that time. (Have been putting that off for months.) So look out Monday, because I'm jumping back into writing . . . which has suddenly become fun and exciting once again. (And as a writer, I don't feel so dysfunctional because I've recaptured the love of writing once again.)
All I can say is "Yee-ha!"
.
I kept gathering rejection slips by the hundreds, but I knew I had it in me to be published and I kept trying (and crying). I'm nothing if not stubborn.
The great thing about being unpublished was that I could experiment. When my Jeff Resnick series was gathering dust on the shelves I decided to try writing cozy mysteries. While they were gathering dust on the shelves, I decided to try short stories. They sold! (I've still got a copy of the first check hanging on the wall over my computer. $20 for a short story I called Valentine's Day. It's now called Are You Lonely Tonight and it's available on Kindle, Nook, etc.) I tried my hand at women's fiction (not very successful -- 14 chapters in, I decided to abandon it. Why? It kept trying to be a cozy mystery). But the thing was, all this experimentation was FUN.
Then I sold. Yea! Bells rang, champagne corks popped, and confetti fell. And suddenly I had deadlines. And even worse, I had to spend a LOT of time promoting the books. Promotion seemed to consume my entire life. And it never stopped, because I was building a brand. Well, three brands: Lorna Barrett, L.L. Bartlett and Lorraine Bartlett. Let me tell you, it became absolutely EXHAUSTING.
Now that Sentenced to Death is out, I've got an entire seven months without promotion. What an opportunity. I suddenly have time on my hands to do something else. And what I've chosen to do is WRITE. I'm currently juggling four writing projects (with two more on the back burner). I've got ideas for two more cozy mystery series (should I ever have time to write them). Without the constant pressure of promotion hanging over my head for a period of time, I've got time to sit down and get back to something I love to do. Write for myself not just a deadline.
AND I LOVE IT.
I feel like a juggler. Here's one day's schedule: Get up read/answer email. Fix breakfast for husband and hungry cats. Work on short story until 10 a.m. At 10, I switch over to the laptop and work on the special project until noon. Eat lunch. At 12:30 I switch over to the 3rd Victoria square Mystery. Yesterday I exceeded all my expectations by making my 1250 word "minimum" requirement on two of the three projects. (And I did 1121 words on the other.)
I can't keep that pace up. For one thing, real life rears its ugly head. I have errands to do today, and tomorrow Mr. L needs my help on an all-day project. It's a holiday weekend and I intend to paint my office during that time. (Have been putting that off for months.) So look out Monday, because I'm jumping back into writing . . . which has suddenly become fun and exciting once again. (And as a writer, I don't feel so dysfunctional because I've recaptured the love of writing once again.)
All I can say is "Yee-ha!"
.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Counter Grazing
Back in February, I bought a seed packet of cilantro. It's one of my favorite herbs--so pungent on Indian or Mexican foods. Yum-yum!
Well, apparently I'm not the only one in the house who likes cilantro, which I'm trying to grow on my kitchen window sill.
And who do you suppose jumped on the counter to get at it?
Well, apparently I'm not the only one in the house who likes cilantro, which I'm trying to grow on my kitchen window sill.
And who do you suppose jumped on the counter to get at it?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Not what I expected to see ... so soon
It was bound to happen one day.My book. On offer at a garage sale.
And the worst insult -- they were only asking 10¢ for it.
The title?
Chapter & Hearse.
Not only that, but there were cozies sitting there from two of my author pals. (One of them I had blurbed.)
I asked the woman running the sale if she'd enjoyed the book, which looked a little worse for wear with dogged ears and a savagely split spine. She said, "I never read it. It either belongs to my mother or daughter."
Not any more. It's MINE now. And the next time I meet up with an old pal who asks me what I'm doing these days, I'm going to give it away.
What would you think if something that took you six months to make was on sale for 10¢?
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Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Long And Short Of It
by guest blogger Jeff Cohen
News came last week that Tom Cruise may (or may not) have optioned one of Lee Child's Jack Reacher books and may (or may not) be planning on playing the ex-military cop and bedder of many (temporarily) uniformed women in a movie. And as with most such news (as when Katherine Heigl was cast as Stephanie Plum), the immediate reaction from fans of the book--who have been casting the movie in their heads for years--was negative. Not Cruise! they blogged, tweeted, posted and probably carved into cave walls. Anybody but Cruise!
Now personally, I don't really care who plays Jack Reacher in a movie. I've read many of Lee Child's books, and think he is remarkably good at what he does. I also think Lee is a very nice man and a mensch, and he should take as much of Tom Cruise's money as he can get and buy himself another great sports car (at least) and a season box at Yankee Stadium, or another house, or something. He deserves every dime.
And I can understand how fans of a book series can get themselves into a snit when someone is cast in the film of said book series who doesn't fit their concept of the character. If I am ever lucky enough to have a film production company option (or better, buy!) one of my novels for a film, I will have a more personal stake in the casting, but if I cash the (hopefully large) check, I'll have absolutely no say in the matter, as any author short of J.K. Rowling can tell you. I get it: fans read the books, they picture the character--in whom they are sometimes VERY emotionally invested--a certain way, and they are disappointed when the actor(s) involved aren't in that mode. It's upsetting.
But the sticking point here, from what I've read online, is not centered on whether Mr. Cruise can handle the role from an acting standpoint. He's actually a very good actor with a lot of range (See A Few Good Men and then Risky Business and then Rain Man). Sure, his public persona is sort of nuts, but find me a centered, normal actor whose name ISN'T Tom Hanks. Yeah, that's what I mean. They're all nuts.
No, the problem here isn't Cruise's acting. It's not even his nuttiness, as far as I can tell. The problem here is that Tom Cruise is short.
Before you start tuning up, yes, I'm aware that Jack Reacher is described as very tall and powerfully built in the books. Guess what? Bernie Rhodenbarr isn't described as looking much like Whoopi Goldberg in Lawrence Block's books, either. Moses? Not a thing like Charlton Heston. Benjamin Braddock couldn't be described as looking less like Dustin Hoffman if he were described as looking like Whoopi Goldberg. Movies adapt books; they don't simply transcribe them. And actors, bless 'em, are supposed to be able to make a role their own.
But I don't think that's what the problem is here. I think the problem is that people don't like short leading men. In fact, people are not comfortable generally with short men. I can tell you this because, at five-foot-five, I have had a decent amount of experience with how people treat short men. They think we're adorable and have about as much respect for us as they do for fat people and cricket players. Short, fat, cricket players? You don't want to know.
Because it is no longer politically correct to make fun of people based on race, religion or gender (and it shouldn't be, just to be clear), there are few groups left that everyone can agree to mock. Overweight people? Clearly they have no self control and deserve our scorn. Short men? Never grew up, did they? Not to be taken seriously. Members of Congress? Okay. You've got me there.
I can't stand New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and I live in his state, so you can take my word for it. But I will NEVER make a fat joke about Christie. That moves us off the point--he should be mocked for his terrible policies, not his weight.
Tom Cruise? Maybe he'd make a horrendous Jack Reacher. It's entirely possible. But don't tell me it's because he's short.
======================================
Jeff Cohen writes mysteries about people who, come to think of it, are often below average height. Jeff's very good friend E.J. Copperman has a new book out, the 2nd Haunted Guesthouse Mystery AN UNINVITED GHOST.
News came last week that Tom Cruise may (or may not) have optioned one of Lee Child's Jack Reacher books and may (or may not) be planning on playing the ex-military cop and bedder of many (temporarily) uniformed women in a movie. And as with most such news (as when Katherine Heigl was cast as Stephanie Plum), the immediate reaction from fans of the book--who have been casting the movie in their heads for years--was negative. Not Cruise! they blogged, tweeted, posted and probably carved into cave walls. Anybody but Cruise!
Now personally, I don't really care who plays Jack Reacher in a movie. I've read many of Lee Child's books, and think he is remarkably good at what he does. I also think Lee is a very nice man and a mensch, and he should take as much of Tom Cruise's money as he can get and buy himself another great sports car (at least) and a season box at Yankee Stadium, or another house, or something. He deserves every dime.
And I can understand how fans of a book series can get themselves into a snit when someone is cast in the film of said book series who doesn't fit their concept of the character. If I am ever lucky enough to have a film production company option (or better, buy!) one of my novels for a film, I will have a more personal stake in the casting, but if I cash the (hopefully large) check, I'll have absolutely no say in the matter, as any author short of J.K. Rowling can tell you. I get it: fans read the books, they picture the character--in whom they are sometimes VERY emotionally invested--a certain way, and they are disappointed when the actor(s) involved aren't in that mode. It's upsetting.
But the sticking point here, from what I've read online, is not centered on whether Mr. Cruise can handle the role from an acting standpoint. He's actually a very good actor with a lot of range (See A Few Good Men and then Risky Business and then Rain Man). Sure, his public persona is sort of nuts, but find me a centered, normal actor whose name ISN'T Tom Hanks. Yeah, that's what I mean. They're all nuts.
No, the problem here isn't Cruise's acting. It's not even his nuttiness, as far as I can tell. The problem here is that Tom Cruise is short.
Before you start tuning up, yes, I'm aware that Jack Reacher is described as very tall and powerfully built in the books. Guess what? Bernie Rhodenbarr isn't described as looking much like Whoopi Goldberg in Lawrence Block's books, either. Moses? Not a thing like Charlton Heston. Benjamin Braddock couldn't be described as looking less like Dustin Hoffman if he were described as looking like Whoopi Goldberg. Movies adapt books; they don't simply transcribe them. And actors, bless 'em, are supposed to be able to make a role their own.
But I don't think that's what the problem is here. I think the problem is that people don't like short leading men. In fact, people are not comfortable generally with short men. I can tell you this because, at five-foot-five, I have had a decent amount of experience with how people treat short men. They think we're adorable and have about as much respect for us as they do for fat people and cricket players. Short, fat, cricket players? You don't want to know.
Because it is no longer politically correct to make fun of people based on race, religion or gender (and it shouldn't be, just to be clear), there are few groups left that everyone can agree to mock. Overweight people? Clearly they have no self control and deserve our scorn. Short men? Never grew up, did they? Not to be taken seriously. Members of Congress? Okay. You've got me there.
I can't stand New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and I live in his state, so you can take my word for it. But I will NEVER make a fat joke about Christie. That moves us off the point--he should be mocked for his terrible policies, not his weight.
Tom Cruise? Maybe he'd make a horrendous Jack Reacher. It's entirely possible. But don't tell me it's because he's short.
======================================
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
My cover artist
I love the covers I get for the Booktown Mysteries. They're done by an artist named Teresa Fasolino and they're wonderful. I can't decide which one I like the best. So far it's between Bookplate Special and Sentenced to Death. I just love the detail she puts into her work.
So I shouldn't have been surprised to find out that she does paintings for stamps, too.
Aren't they pretty?
So, which of the Booktown covers is your favorite and why?
.
So I shouldn't have been surprised to find out that she does paintings for stamps, too.
Aren't they pretty?
So, which of the Booktown covers is your favorite and why?
.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Katie who?
I'm currently working on two Katie Bonner projects. The first of which is the third book in my three-book contract with Berkley Prime Crime. I won't know until at least February if they will review the series. These days, with so many authors going independent, if they DON'T offer me a new contract, and I still feel that I have more Katie stories in me, I can always write them to keep my readers happy. (So what once was a horrible circumstance isn't as tragic as it once was, thanks to e books.)So what's the second project?
Well, for now it's a (psssssst!) secret. But the beauty of it is I get to explore Katie's backstory/background like I haven't been able to do in a novel. (Backstory is a real no-no.)Not that I haven't done this kind of thing in the past. I have a whole notebook of stories chronicling Jeff Resnick's life. The problem is that they aren't mysteries or psychological suspense. So they are destined to never be made available to readers. Unless there's a TREMENDOUS demand, and let's face it, so few readers have found the series that that's never likely to happen.
So what's the difference?
The new Katie project is likely to expand readership for the Berkley series, or at least for those with e readers, because that's the only sensible way to offer the book, and it's so far been a LOT of fun to write.
It's a lot more fun than ditch digging.
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Monday, June 20, 2011
Not that you asked . . .
The last thing you worked on?
A short story when I should have been working on Victoria Square #3.
Your current inspiration?
The events going on in my life.
First place you'll go tomorrow?
To my mother's house.
The color you most often use? (See, I told you these questions were for designers.)
Purple. I guess I never outgrew it. (As a child I asked my parents to paint my bedroom a deep lilac. I love purple pens and my husband indulges me at Christmas (in my stocking) and Easter (in my basket). That said, blue is my favorite color. (But pink is creeping up there.)
Order pizza.
Favorite collectible?
Now that's a tough one--I collect SOOO many things. Made-in-Japan (1950s-60s) Christmas figurines. Hand-painted plates, lambs (I have a whole flock), royal family memorabilia (mostly china cups and mugs), greeting cards from the 1950s. The list goes on and on.
The carved Santas my father made for me.
The last thing you bought for the home?
Lace curtains.
What's left on your wish list?"
For my Jeff Resnick books to find the same kind of success that my Booktown Mysteries have found.
So . . . what's on YOUR wish list?
Thursday, June 16, 2011
My new favorite number!
Well, there was certainly a lot to celebrate yesterday.
First I got an email from my editor saying that according to Bookscan, Sentenced to Death was the #1 bestselling mystery mass market paperback for the week (that would be last week). Weeee!
I must admit, it was hard to focus on my work (I'm writing the third Victoria Square mystery) after that. But I made my minimum word count, which was worth celebrating in itself.
Of course, what I was REALLY waiting for was the phone to ring. And it did. And it WAS my editor. And (drum roll) Sentenced To Death was #17 on the New York Times bestsellers list for mass market paperbacks.
Woo-hoo!
That's two steps up from Chapter & Hearse.
Ahhh, seventeen. My new favorite number.
Of course, while I'm celebrating for Tricia, I'm also hoping that with this book getting so much attention, my other characters/books (under other names) just might get some attention, too. We're talking Katie in A Crafty Killing (Victoria Square #1) and all the Jeff Resnick books and short stories. (Hey, they're like my kids. I love them and want them all to do well.)
As it happens, the next Booktown Mystery (Murder on The Half Shelf) is already written. (As is the 2nd Victoria Square Mystery.) When I finish this current book (in September), I'll jump right back into Tricia's world. And boy have I got a lot planned for the denizens of the little village of Stoneham, New Hampshire. (Mwa-ha-ha!)
In the meantime . . . if you've never read the Booktown Mysteries, I hope you'll give them a try. They start with Murder is Binding.
Okay, back to work!
I must admit, it was hard to focus on my work (I'm writing the third Victoria Square mystery) after that. But I made my minimum word count, which was worth celebrating in itself.
Of course, what I was REALLY waiting for was the phone to ring. And it did. And it WAS my editor. And (drum roll) Sentenced To Death was #17 on the New York Times bestsellers list for mass market paperbacks.
Woo-hoo!
That's two steps up from Chapter & Hearse.
Ahhh, seventeen. My new favorite number.
Of course, while I'm celebrating for Tricia, I'm also hoping that with this book getting so much attention, my other characters/books (under other names) just might get some attention, too. We're talking Katie in A Crafty Killing (Victoria Square #1) and all the Jeff Resnick books and short stories. (Hey, they're like my kids. I love them and want them all to do well.)
As it happens, the next Booktown Mystery (Murder on The Half Shelf) is already written. (As is the 2nd Victoria Square Mystery.) When I finish this current book (in September), I'll jump right back into Tricia's world. And boy have I got a lot planned for the denizens of the little village of Stoneham, New Hampshire. (Mwa-ha-ha!)
In the meantime . . . if you've never read the Booktown Mysteries, I hope you'll give them a try. They start with Murder is Binding.
Okay, back to work!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Where's Alexander Graham Bell When I Need Him?
One Christmas -- at least (mumble, mumble) years ago, my brother (the one who always buys me small kitchen appliances) bought me a wall phone. It's a great phone ... but it's fallen off the wall a few times, and there's a big chunk of plastic missing from the receiver, and the 47th replacement cord has a short in it. (It's long. I like to walk around the kitchen when I talk.) It's time for a replacement.
I will probably be the last woman on the planet with a landline. Why? Because I loath cell phones and handheld wireless phones. You can't rest them on your shoulder when you're in for a marathon call. Your arm gets tired after a while and all the blood drains from your fingers.
I like that when the power goes off, the landline is still there. I have a cell phone and it takes about five minutes from the time I turn it on until it finds a signal. In an emergency, it's the pits.
The problem now is finding a phone that I can put on my shoulder. Ain't no such animal. Wireless only. Sure they're great if you want to walk around the house, but not much else. (The shelf life for those phones seems to be about three years. We keep having to replace them because the batteries go dead and it's more expensive to replace them than buy a new phone.)
In the Booktown Mystery series, Tricia has an old black Art Deco phone on her cash desk. We had one of those when I was a kid. It was an "illegal" extension phone. The bell was disconnected so the phone company wouldn't know. Now -- who cares how many phones are scattered around the house. (We have five.)
I want that old fashioned phone. (I've seen a few at "antique" stores, but they want too much.) And I want one I can rest on my shoulder like the one pictured above.
I've searched the internet to no avail.
Am I the only one left who wants a REAL phone?
.
I will probably be the last woman on the planet with a landline. Why? Because I loath cell phones and handheld wireless phones. You can't rest them on your shoulder when you're in for a marathon call. Your arm gets tired after a while and all the blood drains from your fingers.
I like that when the power goes off, the landline is still there. I have a cell phone and it takes about five minutes from the time I turn it on until it finds a signal. In an emergency, it's the pits.
The problem now is finding a phone that I can put on my shoulder. Ain't no such animal. Wireless only. Sure they're great if you want to walk around the house, but not much else. (The shelf life for those phones seems to be about three years. We keep having to replace them because the batteries go dead and it's more expensive to replace them than buy a new phone.)
In the Booktown Mystery series, Tricia has an old black Art Deco phone on her cash desk. We had one of those when I was a kid. It was an "illegal" extension phone. The bell was disconnected so the phone company wouldn't know. Now -- who cares how many phones are scattered around the house. (We have five.)
I want that old fashioned phone. (I've seen a few at "antique" stores, but they want too much.) And I want one I can rest on my shoulder like the one pictured above.
I've searched the internet to no avail.
Am I the only one left who wants a REAL phone?
.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Changing that old sofa . . .
Our cottage has an old couch. It's actually in pretty good shape because, let's face it--nobody's sitting on it for seven months of the year. However, it does have one tiny flaw. The sun bleached one of the arms and the material split.
Since I didn't pick out the couch, I'm not a real fan of the upholstery. I've wanted to do something about it for years. Since the living room is only 10 x 13 we decided we'd go off in search of a loveseat. Then we might actually get some breathing room.
Since there aren't a lot of furniture stores out in the stix, we visited the only one within a 30-mile range (with free delivery). This is a HUGE place with gigantic room after room of furniture. And every single chair and couch had saddle bag arms. No kidding. Hundreds of them. In all kinds of fabrics and colors of leather. But there wasn't one thing that didn't look like the next.
Ick!
And the prices! There wasn't a loveseat under $1000. Suddenly our old couch (which is EXTREMELY comfortable I might add) starting looking pretty good--icky pineapple upholstery and all.
Okay, I take that last part back. It's still icky upholstery. And that's where Sure-FIt slipcovers come in.
The installation wasn't nearly as easy as the online video said, and we struggled for about 15 minutes, but finally we got the thing looking pretty good.
What do you think? (Needs more pillows, huh?)
.
Since I didn't pick out the couch, I'm not a real fan of the upholstery. I've wanted to do something about it for years. Since the living room is only 10 x 13 we decided we'd go off in search of a loveseat. Then we might actually get some breathing room.
Since there aren't a lot of furniture stores out in the stix, we visited the only one within a 30-mile range (with free delivery). This is a HUGE place with gigantic room after room of furniture. And every single chair and couch had saddle bag arms. No kidding. Hundreds of them. In all kinds of fabrics and colors of leather. But there wasn't one thing that didn't look like the next.
Ick!
And the prices! There wasn't a loveseat under $1000. Suddenly our old couch (which is EXTREMELY comfortable I might add) starting looking pretty good--icky pineapple upholstery and all.
Okay, I take that last part back. It's still icky upholstery. And that's where Sure-FIt slipcovers come in.
The installation wasn't nearly as easy as the online video said, and we struggled for about 15 minutes, but finally we got the thing looking pretty good.
What do you think? (Needs more pillows, huh?)
.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Great product. Now if I could just use it . . .
Okay, so Mr. L gave me a Kindle for my birthday last year. And I love reading on it. It's great.And aside from opening a book, I really have no clue how to use it.
It came with a very small "instruction manuel" which basically tells you how to turn it on and BUY BOOKS. Other than that, you're supposed to use the USER GUIDE on the Kindle itself.
Well, that would be swell...if I could GET TO IT. I have three pages of books and book samples on my Menu (if that's the correct term), only I don't know how to page back through the list of books and samples to GET to my User Guide.
My friend Dru-Ann Love was going to give me a step-by-step lesson in how to use the thing while we were at the Malice Domestic conference in Arlington back in April, but we were both busy visiting and making new friends, and when we were together, we forgot all about it.My sister-in-law is coming to visit next week. She's got a Kindle. I'm gonna sit that girl down and have a little chat on Kindle 101. Then maybe I'll gift her with one of my books. (I think that's the only way I might actually get her to read one of them. She's not a mystery fan, moresthepity.)
Until then, Mr. Kindle is going to gather dust.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Too big for his bed
In prep for the new book's launch (yesterday--with a book signing tonight), I've done a bunch of guest blogs and interviews.
But today it isn't me being highlighted, it's my tiny son Fred. He's the guest today on the Conscious Cat Blog.
In case you want to read about him, you can find him at the Conscious Cat.
Here's the picture that didn't make it into the piece. (Fred spilling out of his bed. Gotta love it!)
But today it isn't me being highlighted, it's my tiny son Fred. He's the guest today on the Conscious Cat Blog.
In case you want to read about him, you can find him at the Conscious Cat.Here's the picture that didn't make it into the piece. (Fred spilling out of his bed. Gotta love it!)
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