Bargain priced--Jeff Resnick Mysteries Volume 2

At least one person expressed interest in the ebook second volume of the Jeff Resnick Mysteries.

Yes!  It's now available--two books for the incredible price of $5.98.

You can find it for/at:


Kindle

Nook

Smashwords (for all e formats)

(Coming soon to Sony E Reader, Kobo, Diesel, and iTunes.)

Yup, that's the entire crop

For the past few weeks we've been drowning in tomatoes and green beans.  Not a bad was to go, eh?
Friday I realized I had forgotten about my potato crop.

The potatoes had a rough summer.  Mr. Groundhog kept eating them down to about the 2-inch level.  Then one day, he said, "I've had enough potato leaves" and went out to the farm to destroy a large part of their eggplant crop.

So, the potatoes soldiered on.  They never had flowers and I figured we'd never get any potatoes, so I more or less forgot about them.  Until Friday.

By Friday, most of the leaves had shriveled up.  I looked around the weed-strewn patch and thought, "I'll never find them."  But, I dug where I thought they might be and sure enough I found them.  Aren't they cute?  We had some (with parsley from the yard) the other night.  Yum yum!

What a fabulous cover!

Marketing is everything.  It is.  Which is why I sent my character Katie Bonner (from the Victoria Square Mysteries) to grad school to get a degree in it.  She was determined to do a fabulous job of marketing her B&B, The English Ivy Inn ... of course, she never got to own the old Victorian House where she'd hoped to open her business ... and that's the first book.  (A Crafty Killing.)

But I'm talking about ME marketing my work.  And one of the things I decided to do was offer the first two Jeff Resnick Books as a 2 fer.  Buy both books in one package and you save $2.

Look at the detail on this fantastic cover.  Isn't it wonderful?  (Done by the fabulous Pat Ryan Graphics.)

It's currently available from Kindle and Smashwords. (Nook always takes their time about these things.  But Smashwords sells all e formats, so everyone is still covered.)  And the cost for these two books?  $5.98 -- that's less than one paperback!  Such a deal!

As soon as I get my butt in gear, I'll be offering the other two books in the series as a 2 fer, as well.  (I already have the cover for that box set, too, and it's just as fabulous.)

COMING SOON:  A Jeff Resnick contest. 
.

Where are all the pretty leaves?

On of the most depressing things about the changing seasons is the light -- or lack thereof -- in the mornings.

In the spring, the sun comes up waaaaaay too early.  Do I really need birds chirping outside my window and the sky getting lighter before 5 am?

But now, it's just the opposite.  Do I really want it to be pitch black out at 6:30 am (and even later come December)?

This is usually the pretty time of year.  When the leaves turn yellow, gold, red, and orange.  Only too many of our maples have blight this year (too much rain and then not enough) and so the leaves are turning brown on the trees and just falling off.  (Even our pin oak is dropping leaves like crazy and usually it doesn't do that until November.)

Is fall happening differnt in your area, too?
====================================
BTW, did you miss my last newsletter? If so, you can find it here:  http://p0.vresp.com/hqTemM
.

My weapon of choice . . .

No sooner have I turned in one book (yesterday), when it's time to start the next.

Right now, I only know what several of the subplots will be. (That's because I'm writing an arc for the characters that won't be finalized until at least book #9.)

Still, I need to turn in a synopsis this week.  YIKES!

As of now I don't know who is killed, with what, or why.  Some day that will all be clear, but in the meantime . . .

Over the summer I purchased an old telephone similar to the one I describe in the Booktown Mysteries.  You may remember that I blogged about it back in August. (And you can read about it here.)
 
A couple of weeks ago, I went to a big community sale and found the following solid brass letter openers.  I knew I had to have them, and I knew one of them would eventually find its way into one of my books (and one of my characters).



Now the problem is ... which one do I use for this next book?

Anybody got any strong feelings one way or another?
.

Green Beans For Me!

Oh, how I lamented the loss of half of my bean crop.  Mr. Bunny (Groundhog ... whatever) ate HALF of my beans.  Nipped them right at ground level, ate a couple of leaves, and left the rest of the plant to die on the poles.  Mr. Bunny got dispatched to the Police Academy (thanks to Animal Control) and the rest of my bean crop was safe.

And boy, as a memorial to their eaten brothers, have these guys gone into overproduction.  We're up to our eyebrows in beans.  But then, I always overplant because I expect Mr. Bunny's relatives to eat at least some of them.

It's been very difficult to pick the bean crop.  Hurricane Irene didn't bring any rain our way, but we sure got a LOT of wind and it blew over not only the bean poles, but the tomato cages, too.  Everything's a mish-mash and it's hard to get in and find the beans.  But Friday we picked half a grocery bag of them because there's no way we could eat them all now.  And thus began the job of freezing them.

Since it's been so hard to pick the beans (there's a fence to contend with, plus we're trying to grow new grass on the other side of it), a lot of them are far too big and tough to eat.  No problem!  We've had problems getting seeds for the variety of beans we prefer. And, in fact, most of this year's crop was from seeds I collected two and three years ago.  They came up just like clockwork.  The pile of beans on the right are just some of the ones I'm drying for next year's seed crop.


After blanching, they went into the ice bath (which in this case happens to be the top of my Tupperware cake tote).

By the time we'd sorted through the beans, we got six bags to freeze.  I estimate we'll have at least that much to do today, too.


Yeah, we could buy a bag of frozen beans for $1.99 that would probably last us for 2-3 meals, but this is so much more satisfying.  I guess only another gardener would understand.

What have you frozen or canned from your veggie garden this year?
===============================
By the way, today I'm guest blogging on my friend Dru-Ann Love's blog, Dru's Book Musings about my new cookbook, RECIPES TO DIE FOR. I hope you'll come by to see what Katie Bonner has to say about the book.
.

Recipes To Die For a reality at last!

The other day, I got my proof copy of RECIPES TO DIE FOR: A Victoria Square Cookbook.  My first reaction was:  Gosh, it's cute!  First of all, the cover pops right out at you.  I love the logo my cover designer made--which sort of reminds me of the covers on the Booktown Mysteries.  But I also love the noose hanging from my name, too.

Although it's a paperback, it's not a mass-market paperback (the size of the novels--this one is bigger...trade size).  One of the complaints I get about the paperbacks is that the type size is too small.  Fear not, this is readable.

But what makes this cookbook special?  (And believe me it is NOT a mystery.  It's a companion piece to the Victoria Square Mystery series.)  The book starts out by introducing quite a few of the characters from the series and giving the reader information that isn't included in the books.  Katie's introduction tells how she came to live with her beloved great aunt Lizzie, and her love of baking.  But you'll find out (hopefully) interesting facts about people like Luther Collier, who owns the local funeral parlor, and vendors Liz and Gwen, who have a much greater presence in the third book than the first two.  But Ida Mitchell, the tag room manager, contributes a couple of her favorite recipes, too.

And the print book differs from the e book because it has graphics.  (I wonder if you can guess what recipe this graphic represents?)

I had a lot of decisions to make about the pricing of the book.  One thing I wanted to do was keep the cost down.  Hey, these are tough times, but the distribution options weren't as attractive as I would have hoped.  In order to make the book available to many retail organizations, the MINIMUM I had to charge was $6.99.  (I may yet have to charge that, but for the now the book costs $5.99.)  Even then, I would make only 17 cents per copy sold.

Therefore, I've chosen to only make it available from My e Store (via the publisher) and on Amazon.  I know--a lot of people don't like Amazon, but selling it on the Barnes & Noble site means I'd only make that same 17 cents a copy, and let's face it ... the author should make more than 17 cents a copy on a book sold.

The book went live just last night My E Store, where it can now be ordered (and where I'll get the highest royalty).  By next week it should show up on Amazon.  I'll let you know when that happens.  But for now, if you'd like to order a print copy of the book, you can find it here.

It's also available as an e book from:  Kindle ~ Nook ~ Smashwords (which has can be downloaded for all e formats).

I hope you'll give Recipes To Die For a chance!
 .

Kate & Will's Kiss . . .

A few weeks ago, when I visited Niagara On The Lake, I visited my favorite shop--The Scottish Loft.  There they stock all things Scottish (and a bunch of them say "If it isn't Scottish, it's CRAP!").  I stocked up on English candy (love those travel sweets) and one more thing.



I have quite a collection of Royal Family memorabilia.  This was just my latest addition.  I had been hoping to find one in bone china but this was it.  (I did see a William and Kate cake plate, but it was something like a hundred bucks, and it only had writing, no picture, so I passed it by.)


Here's my entire Will and Kate collection to date:



What have you added lately to one of your collections?
.

I know it's autumn because . . .

Okay, to be technical--fall doesn't arrive until Friday, but it officially arrives for me today.  Why?
The pool gets closed.

Why does that make me sad when I haven't gone swimming in the thing for at least five years?  Because the pool uncovered is a beautiful thing.  Especially this year because we paid to have it cleaned every other week.  It sparkles.  But when it's closed, it's ugly.  It's a blunt reminder that SUMMER IS OVER and we're going TO FREEZE FOR MONTHS ON END.

I hate pool closing.

But . . . the seasons must change.  It's time to think about other things.  We'll soon be going down to our basement pub in the evenings.  It's got the world's most comfortable couch, a bar, tons of books and magazines to read, music, TV--it's like a 2nd living room.  (Okay, we already have three other living rooms, but it's my favorite one.)

What event marks the end of summer for you?
_______________________________________
BTW, RECIPES TO DIE FOR: A Victoria Square Cookbook is now available for Nook.  Will have an update on the print version in the next couple of days.
.

Recipes To Die For is now available ... sort of

Okay, when I said I was shooting for October 1st, I had no idea things would come together so fast for my Victoria Square cookbook, Recipes to Die For.

Well, not exactly.  Amazon uploaded the book in less than six hours, which has to be a record.  Smashwords is always fast, but then you wait for a long time to see if you make it to the Premium Catalog (which means they distribute it to places like Sony, Kobo, Diesel and Apple.  Still waiting on that.)  As I write this, I'm still waiting for Barnes & Noble to upload it for Nook.  The last time I uploaded to them, it took three weeks.  I nagged and nagged, but they weren't going to put that story up until they were good and ready, I guess.

The print version could be ready as soon as next week.

I decided to do a print version because so many of my readers have said they don't have e readers and don't plan on getting them, either.  The only problem is, the price tag is higher than I would have liked.  And I decided NOT to make the book available to libraries and other bookstores simply because I would lose 23 cents for every book sold.  I just can't afford to do that.  So, the price tag is $5.99, which still seems high to me, but it was the cheapest I could make it and not lose money.

So, if you'd like to purchase the book right now, it's available on Kindle and (for all e formats) Smashwords.  I'll let you know when the print version is available.

I hope you'll like getting to know not only Katie Bonner better, but her vendors and friends on Victoria Square.  And ... maybe try a recipe or two while you're at it.

Thank you!
.

And I Didn't Pay For Shipping!

Way back in 2008, I blogged about how I wanted a GT Express 101 counter top cooker thingy.  (And if you missed that post, you can read it here.)  It was being sold on an infomercial for $40 (for two) with an astronomical shipping price.  Suffice to say, I didn't buy it.  I figured I probably couldn't use two of them and didn't have anyone to give the second one to.

I must've watched that infomercial at least 100 times. I could practically recite along with the hostess Cathy Mitchell and her pal Joe, who cooked all kinds of omelets, cakes (with bite-size Snicker bars in the middle), enchiladas, cornbread, and all kinds of neat stuff -- in ten minutes or less!

Boy, I really wanted one . . . but I got over it and moved on.

Earlier this summer, I saw a used one at a yard sale, but it didn't have the recipe book.  I came back a second time and looked at it longingly . . . but decided that at $3 and no recipe book, it wasn't going to come home with me.

And then ... last weekend I saw another one, BRAND NEW IN THE BOX for $5.  You never saw anyone peel off five bucks as fast in your whole life.  It had everything, the little flipper-overer, a bottle to measure pancake batter, and best of all, the recipe book full of 101 recipes.  Woo-hoo!

It was with great anticipation that I fired that baby up. Since the infomercial touted it as great for using up small quantities of leftovers, that's where I started.  I beat a couple of eggs, tossed in some leftover parsley potatoes and a half a slice of Swiss cheese to make my very first omelet.

The booklet said it would take 7 minutes to cook.  I peeked halfway and shook my head.  It was going to take a LOT longer.  But then the 7 minutes was up (I used my handy dandy kitchen timer) and gosh darnit if that little omelet wasn't done to a turn.  Of course, then it was time to get that baby out of the GT express 101. The flipper overer looks like it should be easy to use, but it felt awkward in my hand.  I had to use my left hand to get the omelet out of the left hand side of the cooker.

Was this omelet any better than I could have made in my omelet pan?  Probably not.  Was it easier to use?  Yes, because I didn't have to stand there and baby it. Did it taste better?  I would've tasted a lot better if I'd cooked it in a big gob of butter, but they tell you NOT to add more than cooking spray, and therefore you get healthier food.

Was it everything they advertised?  I'd say yes.  Of course, I've only used it once, but I have a feeling I'll use it again.  Maybe not tomorrow, but soon.  Will I ever use it for anything other than an omelet?  That's debatable.  But it is easier to clean than my omelet pan, so ... what the heck.

Have you ever used an AS SEEN ON TV product that worked?

Recipes to die for?

When I told my sister-in-law I was writing a cookbook, she laughed.  "You?  Cooking?  Telling other people how to cook?"

Now, wait a minute, I never said I couldn't cook, I just prefer NOT to, although I've always enjoyed baking. (And hey, since someone else was willing to do most of the cooking, I didn't object.)  Since I started writing the Booktown Mysteries (and one of the main characters is really into food and cooking), I've done a lot more cooking--and a lot of experimentation in the kitchen.  I've even successfully reproduced (or a reasonable facsimile) recipes of food that I've eaten in restaurants, something I wouldn't even have contemplated a few years back.

So, this summer I decided to write a cookbook for my Victoria Square characters.  And what we have is: RECIPES TO DIE FOR.

This was my "play piece."  As I've mentioned before, we had a rough beginning to the summer. (Beginning as in early April and plowing through mid-July.)  Having a play piece was fun--an escape.  It also didn't hurt that I was writing a novel with the same characters at the very same time.  I got to explore their lives, where they came from, and express it through the recipes they contributed to the Victoria Square Cookbook.

Author Ellery Adams, now known for ther Books by the Bay mysteries (and for the Supper Club Mysteries under the name J.B. Stanley), will soon be known for her Charmed Pie Mysteries.  Ellery/J.B knows her way around the kitchen.  So I was thrilled when she gave Recipes To Die For an enthusiastic two-thumbs up.  She said:

"Cozy readers everywhere have fallen in love with Lorraine Bartlett's A Crafty Killing and the inhabitants of Victoria Square, a charming and sometimes dangerous berg featuring one-of-a-kind businesses like Artisans Alley. In Recipes To Die For, Katie Bonner and the rest of the locals from Victoria Square invite you into their kitchens to share tantalizing recipes and intimate stories about food, family, and life. So tie on your apron and sharpen your knives, because Recipes To Die For is chock full of culinary treasures such as Andy Rust's Cinnamon Rolls, Vance Ingram’s Barbequed Ribs, and Sweet Sue’s Toffee Squares. And you don't want to miss Aunt Lizzie’s Cream Scones. They're to die for!"

So, when will it be avaiable?

October 1st.

How will it be available?

In print and as an ebook.  First, on Kindle and Nook, and within a week or so of that date, all other e formats.  You'll be able to order it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or any independent bookstore.

Would you like to read a Victoria Square cookbook?
.

CHARGE IT!

by Guest Blogger Sylvia May

When Lorna asked if I’d like to guest blog on Pet Peeve Thursday, I replied with a resounding yes. Trouble was, I couldn’t think of any Pet Peeves. Not one thing to complain about. Aren’t I lucky?

Nevertheless, I settled into our comfy chair with my laptop, figuring inspiration would hit eventually. Turning on the computer, I was greeted with a message telling me there were nine minutes of power left on my battery. Oh yeah, I’d forgotten to plug it in the night before. Annoyed with myself, I scrambled out of the chair to get the charger and realized that I did have a Pet Peeve to write about.

A few mornings ago, after virtuously dragging myself out of bed at 6:00, I donned my running clothes, grabbed my cute little iPod Nano (which has on it an invigorating and motivating playlist) and went outside. Did my stretches, put in the earbuds and turned on my Nano. Except it wouldn’t turn on! You guessed it; I’d forgotten to charge it.

That same day (same day!) I was out running errands when my cell phone rang. “Hi Sylvia,” my sister began. “I wanted to ask you—” and then the phone died. Really? Had I forgotten to charge that too? (And this one is crucial, since our cell phone is our only phone.)

You’d think I would have learned my lesson. Not so. The other night I climbed into bed with my iPad, which I primarily use as my e-Reader. I was eager to devour a few more chapters of the wonderful book, Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese, before nodding off. Alas, before I’d gotten through a couple of pages, the battery died. Then I remembered that my daughter, who was visiting us for a few days, had been playing Fruit Ninjas on my iPad, frantically trying to beat her own score of 564, an activity that had apparently run the power down.

I am obviously dependent on my portable electronic devices—for work, for reading, for play. But I seem to forget that they only work when they’re charged!

So now, I’m trying to make it a habit to plug everything in before going to bed. Well, I plug in my iPad in the morning, since I actually use it in bed. I’ve been at it for three days. So far, so good—everything is fully charged when I set out to use it.

Have you run out of power recently?
==============================
Sylvia May’s emotionally charged debut novel, The Unraveling of Abby Settel, was released two weeks ago. A women’s fiction novel, it is a story of mid-life reinvention and the importance of friends. Watch the trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNZvTaIOIZE), visit her website (www.sylviamay.com) and her blog (http://sylviamaysblog.blogspot.com/).

Keeping the lights on

I often worry about the wrong things.  One of the things I worry about is losing power.  Worse--losing the Internet because I've lost power!  But wait, maybe after recent events, this isn't such a wrong thing to worry about.

During the time we've lived in this house, we've lost power--for days at a time--twice.  We've lost power for hours at a time five or six times.  In the summer . . . it's not so bad.  Although after a tremendous thunderstorm (microburst) we were without power for five days.  It was heartbreaking to see the streetlights on, but the every house in the neighborhood shrouded in darkness.  (And wouldn't you know we had just stocked our freezer a couple of days before the storm.)  At that time, I had a day job, so I could go to work and cool off and surf the net.  My self-employed husband could not.  And with no power, he couldn't work, either.  It was a long five days for him.  And we (and the neighbors) were furious to find that it was the turn of a wrench that powered up our neighborhood once again.  They just didn't have a crew available to come do it ... FOR FIVE DAYS.

When we lost power after an ice storm and the house went down to 44 degrees, it was a nightmare.  We couldn't get a hotel room because we had cats.  We weren't going to leave the cats, so we stayed at the house.  And FROZE.  That's when Mr. L channeled Scarlett O'Hara and said, "As God is my witness, I will never be cold again!"

We bought a gasoline-powered generator.  What a great piece of insurance.  After we bought it, we didn't lose power for several years.  But last winter we did--for more than three hours.  That was the first time we had to use the generator.  First, Mr. L had to crawl around in the snow and plug the generator into the circuit.  Not so easy when you have had two knee replacements.  Next, we had to endure not only the roar of the generator, but the fumes.  (And yes, it was stationed outside and well away from the house, but you could still smell it.)  I was convinced we'd die of asphyxiation. But the furnace did run.  We could use the microwave and toaster oven to make supper.  (But we couldn't run the computers.  Mr. Generator was good, but not that good.)

Today (well, if we don't have a downpour), we're having a natural gas-powered generator installed.  Oddly enough, we'd made the decision before Hurricane Irene struck and left millions in the dark for days.  We've got a lot of problems in this country, and one of them is an aging infrastructure.  Why did so many people lose power during Hurricane Irene?  Because the power lines are above ground--running through trees, that break and fall during bad weather.  (Think about it, this is 19th Century technology we're talking about.)

The next time the power goes out, I want my lights, heat (or AC) and I want my Internet.  Hopefully, new Mr. Generator will deliver it for me.  (Think of it this way:  a Thomas Kincade painting vs. Bob Cratchit trying to warm himself over a candle?)  And yeah, this is taking a BIG bit our of our savings, but it's also bringing us something equally important:  peace of mind.  You can't put a price on that.

Taking a Day Off

Tuesday I took the day off.  Believe me, after the summer I've had, I needed a day off.

Mr. L and I drove across the border to Niagara-on-the-Lake, a lovely little town on the Niagara River.  While my fictional village of Stoneham, NH doesn't look much like NOTL, I wish it did. (And I'm coaxing it, I'm coaxing it.)  By the way, if you click on the pictures, you should see bigger versions of them.


Our first stop, the Prince of Wales Hotel for afternoon tea.


The tea room was gorgeous.  We could have sat at the outer edge to watch the people on the sidewalk go past, but chose instead to sit "inside" and enjoy the lovely tea room itself.



The tea came out first.  Isn't this lovely china?



And next came the most delicious and fattening food . . .


After lunch, we walked around the town and just took in the lovely homes and other sights.


I think Mr. Horsey would have preferred to be standing in a meadow in the shade instead of pulling tourists on a hot day.


All in all, it was the perfect day.

Have you had a perfect day lately?
 .

Calling Haven't Got a Clue!

Last week at the garage sales, I found what's been on my treasure-hunt list for years:  an old black phone.

Years ago, my Dad bought one secondhand. We always said it could be used as a murder weapon.  So, when I started writing the Booktown Mysteries back in 2006, I decided that Tricia should have a classic phone on the cash desk of her mystery bookstore, Haven't Got a Clue.  (Hmmm ... maybe it'll be a murder weapon some day.  )

Anyway, I've seen retro phones for sale on Amazon for about a hundred bucks, but I wanted a REAL one, and I didn't want to pay $80-$300.  (I saw a refurbished phone similar to mine online for $299 plus shipping.  It's a Kellogg 1000 series phone.  If you're really interested, you can read about it here.)

When I staggered to the car under the weight of a big box AND this phone, Mr. L's lip curled.  "What is THAT?"

"It's Tricia's phone.  I have to have it."

"It's DIRTY and DISGUSTING."

"It's Tricia's phone.  I'll clean it up."

Only it sat in my minivan for a week before I plucked up the courage to touch it again.  It really was disgusting.  It must have been stored in a barn or a garage for a L-O-N-G time. (Note the ex-spider home on the receiver.)




 Here's a front view:


The first thing I did was wet a paper towel to get the majority of the crud off of it.  Again.  DISGUSTING!  Then I tinkered with the dial.  I took off the part with the finger holes and figured I'd just move it.  Oh no.  There's a whole brass thingy with lots of cogs and stuff that was jammed.  So I messed with it with a screwdriver (and I'm sure my Dad, the tinkerer, was standing over my shoulder the whole time), got it unstuck, and then squirted it liberally with WD-40.  Voila!  It started moving again.  I put the thing back together and started on the receiver.

Ugh!  Even more disgusting!  I removed a outer ring and the mouthpiece cover and found it filled with yucky yellow stuff. I  don't know what it was, but it went into the trash PDQ!  Did the same to the earpiece, but that wasn't as bad.  Then I dug out the Murphy's Oilsoap and gave it a thorough going-over.  And . . . don't you think Tricia would be proud to have this phone on her cash desk?

Mr. L said, "You're not really going to use that, are you?"

Truthfully, I don't know.  I would need to go to Radio Shack and see if I can get some kind of adapter, but if I can get the old girl working, I'd like to install her in my office.

It's not the same phone as we had when I was a kid--that had a more Art Deco handle--but for now, I'm pretty happy with old Black Beauty.  And by the way, I paid $5 for it.



Don't you just love a bargain?
.

Mr. Wasp Builds A Nest

And so as we left the cottage last week, Mr. Wasp flew in.  Mr. MONSTER Wasp.  Of course I screamed.  I scream whenever there's a bug bigger than my big toe and if it's flying around --I scream REALLY LOUD. (And for some reason it annoys Mr. L.)

But I opened the door and Mr. Wasp flew out to dive bomb somebody else.

Only it turned out it wanted to dive bomb us.  Him and a LOT of his friends.  They were flying in and out of a little strip of metal above the gutter right over the front door.

"We'll get some wasp spray," Mr. L said.

Okay.  He bought it and since I decided to go back there to write he handed it to me and said, "Good luck."

Gulp.

Mr. Wasp and friends were very busy when I arrived.  Going in and out and (presumably) building more rooms in the nest for their friends and relatives.

Gulp.

But before I did anything I did what I never do.  I READ THE DIRECTIONS ON THE CAN.  It said to wait until dusk when Mr. Wasp and friends were turning in for the night.

It was a L-O-N-G day, and I went in and out the back door.

At long last almost dusk arrived and I went outside, set up the ladder (this time wearing shoes with traction.  I didn't want a repeat of two weeks ago when I fell down the rain-slick steps and received a gigantic bruise the side of Puerto Rico).  Perched on the ladder, I took aim and SQUIRTED.  Wow--that can really could expel its poison for 20 feet.  But was I in a good position to actually get the nest, which is completely invisible?

I squirted again.  Mr. Wasp and pals were getting a little upset.  Suddenly there were about 20 of them hovering madly outside their home.  I jumped off the ladder and backed away, sure I was about to be swarmed.  But the wasp family was more interested in defending their turf than turning on me.  Still, I squirted a couple more times from the ground and waited.  Nothing seemed to happen, but I did hear some odd buzzing.  I looked down and a couple of wasps were wiggling around in agony.

I felt like a murderer.  I stomped on them to put them out of their misery and hurried back inside.

Okay, I worked in a chemical factory for over 25 years.  I know what poison does and wasp spray is poison.  These wasps could have lived long and happy lives if they'd built a nest in the tree or in someones barn far away from me.

I have a feeling they're not finished.  They're big.  Like Terminator wasps.  They'll be back.

Next time I'm going to let Mr. L deal with them while I hide at a safe distance.

Have you ever dealt with wasps or other really big bugs?
.

Where'd I see that picture?

So there I was with NOTHING to read.  Oh, there's an old issue of Coastal Living, from April 2006, sitting on that pile of magazines in the corner.  (I got it at a yard sale for FREE!)  I think I'll read that.  So, I'm paging through it and come to an article about an enclave of cottages to rent on the Maine coast.  (Very pretty.)

Then I got to page 147.  Hold everything!  I turned to Mr. L and said, "I've seen this picture in the last couple of weeks."

He didn't bother to look up from the crossword puzzle.

"In fact, it was in an issue of Romantic Homes Magazine."

Still no reaction from Mr. L.

So I turned to the pile of magazines on the little table between us and sure enough--there it is, the new issue of Romantic Homes and darned if that picture from a 5-year-old-issue of Coastal Living isn't the cover of the current Romantic Homes.

Mr. L says to me, "You do this all the time.  Find a picture in one place, and then go show me where you've seen it before."

He's right.  I remember beautiful pictures on home interiors--and for some reason, I remember where I've seen them--even if I haven't seen it for a while.

Why couldn't I remember more important stuff like where I left my keys or my hat or my glasses?  No, I have to remember pictures in decorating books and magazines.

Has that ever happened to you?

I auto sign my E autograph

One of the complaints I've heard about e books is that authors can't sign them for readers.

Well, forget that one, because someone has figured out a way to do it.  (It was only a matter of time.)

Like a bunch of my author pals (Deb Baker, Doranna Durgin, Tonya Thomas, Becky Barker, Michele Hauf, and more), I've registered at Kindlegraph and with all three of my names:  Lorraine Bartlett, Lorna Barrett and L.L. Bartlett.

What's Kindlegraph?  A website where readers can request an electronic (pseudo) autograph from their favorite authors. (Well, the one's who've registered, anyway.)  It's quick, it's easy, and it's free!
Can an author REALLY autograph an ebook?

Well, not exactly.  Instead, the author can personalize a message to a reader.  What you get is a PDF file with a copy of the book's cover and a message from the author.  (Remember to include your name in your request if you want the autograph"personalized".)  You can then attach the file to the e copy of the book.  And although the name of the site has Kindle in it, these PDF files can be attached to the files for e books on just about every other e platform. (Think Nook, Sony E Reader, Kobo, etc.)

So, what do you think of this latest e innovation?

OR

Packing up a life . . .

A couple of weeks ago, my mother asked me to assemble some boxes for her.  My brother got them off Craigslist for free.  Someone had moved and the moving company gave them far too many boxes.  So they offered them up to anyone who wanted them.  Since we were moving my mother-in-law from her apartment to assisted living, my brother thought we could probably use them.  He was right.

Packing up the mother-in-law's clothes wasn't so bad.  Her clothes are in her new closet and dresser and her pictures are on the walls and scattered around her room.  We even hung some cute things in the bathroom so that where she now lives would look more like home for her.

But then there're those boxes for my Mom.

It's been almost two years since my Dad passed.  My Mom wasn't ready to part with his things until now.  So for the past week or so she's been going through his clothes, washing them, and packing them up for Goodwill.

Yesterday I stood there and looked at his things and it made me cry. He isn't here anymore.  He has no use for any of them.  But . . . it just makes me so sad to see them go.

Dad would've been practical.  "Get rid of them!"  In fact, he did say that while he was in the nursing home.

I used to like to go to estate sales, but I find it hard to do these days.  Somebody died.  We're all picking over what the deceased might have loved and valued.  It all seems kind of ghoulish. And yet ... if no one has use for these things, maybe someone else might love and value them, too.

What do you think?

No soup for me!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld.  Not that I particularly liked any of the the episodes but that nasty line of dialogue, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" keeps repeating in my ear.

Why?

Because I love soup.  I've been making a lot of soup these past two years, and soup and hot weather just don't go together.

Don't tell me to make a chilled soup.  Ick!  (And some of them are just plain weird.  Chilled watermelon soup?  Why not just say watermelon slushy?)

I've got a hankering to make black bean soup.  And 16 bean soup.  And I've been afraid to make my own dahl (lentils) just . . . because.  (Have you ever seen the yards-long ingredient list?)

But in the last couple of days the weather has gotten . . . nice.  We're talking not horribly humid, and not devastatingly hot.  And what am I thinking about?

Soup!

I love leek and potato soup and included the recipe in one of my books (Bookmarked for Death?).  I haven't made that one in a while.  Seems to me there's usually snow on the ground when I make it, although the last time I made it was in October 2009.  I made it for my Dad who'd just been transferred back from the hospital to the nursing home.  It was the last real meal that he ate.  (And I fed it to him, spoonful by spoonful.)  Maybe that's why I haven't made it.  It's too painful remembering.  But I made it with love in my heart and he was grateful to eat it.

But back to that 16 bean soup . . . I only recently found out I can BUY frozen ham hocks at Wegmans.  (Who knew?)

I'm not in a hurry to see summer end (especially now that the weather has calmed down a little), but ... I'm ready for a nice bowl of hearty soup.  (And no, not made with any kind of animal hearts.  Ick.)

What's your favorite soup?
.

I have no sympathy for rodents

Last week I posted on Facebook that we caught a bunny in our Havahart trap.  Presumably the bunny that has destroyed 75-85 percent of my bean crop.  Never mind the woodchuck that has destroyed ALL of my gladioli, potatoes, coneflowers, and shasta daisies on the other end of the yard.

I was surprised so many people were sympathetic to Mr. Bunny and not to my plants.

Hey, plants deserve to live, too!

Pity the farmer behind our house.  I estimate that the animals that have been having dessert in my yard have been dining three meals a day on his soil and have destroyed a very big portion of his crops.  THEIR LIVELIHOOD.

Yes, Mr. Bunny and Mr. Chipmunk (I found one munching one of my tomatoes last evening) are "cute" but they aren't Chip and Dale or Peter Rabbit.  Give them skinny tails and they are what they are--RODENTS.

RODENTS = RATS.  Do you think rats are cute?  Are tiny mice, so cute in fiction, sweet and nice when they are running around in your silverware drawer crapping on the forks and knives?  Because I sure didn't think so last winter or in June when it happened again.

RODENTS = DISEASE.  The plague.  The Black Death.

Excuse me, but I don't find rodents in any form to be cute, nice, or Disney-esque.

The bunny we caught in the trap was let go in a rural area.  We did NOT kill it (unlike my rural neighbor down at the cottage who would catch critters in his Havahart trap and drown them in the bay--guaranteeing they would never eat his flowers and veggies again.)  I'm perfectly fine with relocating them.  But I'm not perfectly fine with them destroying crops, be they my own or my farmer neighbor's.

I realize this attitude will not win me friends with those who read Beatrix Potter -- but I'm sure the lady farmer wasn't happy when these pests ate her kitchen garden, either.  She just wrote about the "cute" side of rodents who wore waistcoats and spoke in full sentences--not squeaks that only a cat can hear.  And that was her livelihood.  Pity the poor farmer, already dealing with this year's intense weather conditions, who won't have money to feed his/her family this winter because not-so-cute rodents ate a big portion of his/her crops.

I am an animal lover.  (You wouldn't believe how much money I send to animal charities.  And not just those for cats and dogs--but a farm animal rescue, too.) But I draw the line at crop-eating, disease-ridden rodents.

This is just one subject where some of us just won't see eye to eye.  I'm afraid we're going to have to beg to differ.

I'm sure those in the rodent court have never planted gardens.  Maybe they should try.  I see a garden as eco-friendly and trying to limit my carbon footprint.

I can't do that if rodents trump humans in this food chain.

99 Years Ago Today

Today would have been Julia Child's 99th Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIA

I confess, until I saw the movie Julie & Julia, I really didn't know that much about Ms. Child.  Now I've read a couple of books and obtained her book Mastering the Art of French Cooking (which I have not).  And it wasn't the cooking in the film that made it a hit with me, it was that Julie and Julia were both WRITERS.

What a cool lady.

The bumpy road to typing "THE END"

I'm often asked:  "How long does it take you to write a book?"

I glibly answer: "Six months," and that's the truth--most of the time.

I am notoriously s-l-o-w with the first 40,000 words.  That's how long it takes me to get into the story and to where the work starts to be fun instead of drudgery.

I've had a LOT (upsetting) non-writing stuff going on this summer, so even after I hit my 40,000 words, the work was still drudgery.  No matter what I did, I could not seem to get this puppy to run on four wheels on a straight road.

HOLD EVERYTHING!  Yesterday I sat down for most of the day and read the thing.

I wasn't as far off the main road as I feared, but I did have to dump a subplot that just wasn't working.  I worried that Katie wasn't doing enough sleuthing, but it turned out I'd forgotten half the stuff she was up to (mostly because I've written the book out of sequence).  Luckily, it does make sense and I'm hoping it falls together (that is, I'll be writing a LOT) in the next couple of weeks.

I've fallen in love with my characters and setting once again.  Katie has new friends, and new thorns in her side, and I think the book is going to be pretty good.  Of course, I just read The Walled Flower earlier this week (it's my favorite so far in the series, but by the time I finish this one, it may snatch that honor--that's what usually happens), so I'm well steeped in Victoria Square lore.

Now, if I could just straighten out the crap that going on in the rest of my life ... because I have LOTS of other stories I want to tell and no time right now to write them.

Is there anything that looked bleak in your life that suddenly found some sunshine?
.

I fall down go boom!

 Sometimes when I'm falling behind on a project, I'll pack up a cat and go to the cottage to work.  It seems like I can get a lot more done there when I'm on my own and free from distractions than when I'm at home.  And boy have I got a lot to get done.  I'm behind on my manuscript (had to ask for an extension), had a copy edit to complete, and a blurb to write (all with looming deadlines).

So, yesterday I packed up my cat Fred and off we went.

Doesn't that sound ideal?  The problem is . . . it was raining.  REALLY HARD.  It was 8:45 and I'd already been to the grocery store, Home Depot, and filled up the van with gas.  We hit the road and the rain hit us.  What usually takes just under an hour took us 90 minutes.  (But we were listening to Bookmarked for Death on CD and that helped, although it was raining so hard at some points that I couldn't understand what the reader was saying.  No matter.   I know the story.  Heck, I wrote it!)

When we arrived, it was still raining hard, but I had a schedule.  First things first, get the frightened cat out of the car.  That went okay, despite the fact I was juggling a grocery bag, my purse, and the cat carrier, and an umbrella.  But soon Fred was inside and I grabbed my umbrella and went out for a second load.

Did I mention I was wearing my old (with NO tread), paint-stained Crocs?  I'd already mentioned to Mr. L that I had nearly slipped in the Home Depot parking lot, but I'd left my good shoes at the cottage the last time we were there and wanted to remember to bring my ratty old ones back.  I had not reckoned with the wet and slippery staircase.
I fall down go BOOM!

That had to be the most frightening split second of my life.  The stairs have four steps and I missed three of them and landed on my butt on the concrete pavers at the bottom.  I slammed both wrists onto the bottom step and was instantly soaked to the skin.

I must've sat there for a full 10 seconds before I could catch my breath to move.  Was I smart and did I go back inside?  No, I went for another load from the car.  I was careful and since the gutter over the door leaks like a sieve, got even wetter.  I dumped my load and CHANGED MY SHOES.

Once I had everything in, I called Mr. L.  I had promised I'd call as soon as I got in.  His reaction.  "Gee, it's good you're not hurt.  With no neighbors around, nobody would have found you."

That scared me.  (Thanks, Mr. L.)  Suddenly that commercial about the old woman who'd fallen and couldn't get up didn't seem so idiotic.

Lucky for me, I had used an icepack in the cooler so I alternated sitting 20 minutes on and 20 minutes off for most of the day.  I finished the copy edit (and handed it in a week early--Man, I like The Walled Flower!) and I even got a lot of reading in for the book that needs a blurb.  (Once I figured out how I could sit on my recliner without searing pain.)

And now all I have to show for yesterdays adventures are a LOT of bruises and sore muscles.


And the Crocs?  They still aren't in the garbage where they should be.  I still have some painting to complete.  THEN they're going in the garbage.

Have you ever fallen and couldn't get up?